Page 10 of If You Could Only Feel
My head was yanked backwards as Gabriel dug his hand into my hair and pulled on my scalp. My body was bowed as he had one hand on my hip, holding me in place against the couch, and the other was pulling my head back.
Gabriel leaned over me and his breath was like hot fire on my ear. “Do you honestly thinkNathaniel’sgoing to be able to give you this, Justice?” he growled as he said Nathaniel’s name with a sneer. “You’ve been taking my dick for six fucking years, and suddenly, it’s not good enough anymore?”
I thought my heart was already broken, but apparently not, because Gabriel’s words pushed the pain around harder. This wasn’t about sex, but of course, he would think so, because that’s all this has ever been for him. Even when he was reciting howhewas ‘The One’, it had all centered around all the sexual things he’s done to me over the years.
“Gabe…” I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or my emotional turmoil, but I felt like I needed to say something, but I had no idea what it was I wanted to say.
What I did know was that, no matter how skilled Gabriel was or how big his dick was, I couldn’t get out of my head long enough to enjoy what he was doing. I wasn’t going to orgasm, and it’d be the first time in six years that Gabriel wouldn’t be able to make me cum. And I think he knew it because his movements became more fanatical and his words harsher. Crueler. Meaner.
“What?” he asked. “I can’t even make you cum anymore?” Historically by now, I would have cum at least twice. Gabriel never failed to deliver, and I was always so desperate for his attentions, my excitement when we did get together, always had me detonating almost instantly. “Are you so excited about your date withNathaniela nine-inch cock can’t even get you off anymore?”
My hands fisted around the pillows on the couch and I couldn’t stop the sob that escaped. The harder he fucked me, the more heartbroken I became. “Ga-”
Gabriel let go of my hair and grabbed onto both my hips and the force of his thrusts were enough to make me scream out. I wanted to beg him to stop, but I knew if I did, he would immediately pull himself from my body and I couldn’t bear that right now. If this was the last time I would be with Gabriel, I wanted him to at least finish. Stupid, sad and pathetic, I know.
His roar echoed throughout the room as he dug his fingers into my flesh, holding me still, as he came inside me. Normally, this is the part that turned me on the most, but this time, it just brought on more heartache.
After a few excruciating seconds, Gabriel pulled out of me and stepped away. I stood up and did my best to support myself on my shaky legs, but I had to place a hand on the back of the couch to steady myself, as I heard Gabe zipping up his pants.
I finally found the courage to look up at Gabriel and I instantly wish I hadn’t. He looked murderous. His green eyes burned like the fires of Hell and his face looked like, out of all the people in the world, he hated me the most. “Gabr-”
He held his hand up to silence me, and without sparing me a second glance, stormed across the room and slammed the door behind him.
Chapter 6
Gabriel~
The hourlong drive back home had to be the most excruciating hour of my life. I wasn’t safe from anything. Any song that came on, either fueled my anger, or depressed the hell out of me. If I turned off the radio, then the silence had my mind so worked up by its thoughts, I was ready to turn my car around and commit murder.
I pulled up to Michael’s, not caring it was past four in the morning. I had a key to his condo, so I could let myself in without waking him. However, I had every intention of waking him. I needed to talk to someone before I ended up on the six o’clock news for murdering Nathaniel.
I parked my car in the building’s garage. Michael had two assigned spaces, but only one car, so the other was often used by me, Mase, Aiden or one of my sisters-in-law.
It still felt a little surreal not living together. We had grown up around each other constantly in the same house. When Mason had gone off to college, I still had Aiden and Michael at home with me. When Aiden followed Mason a year later, I still had Michael, and we had moved in with Mason and Aiden in their off-campus house when we attended Blaineview two years later.
The same pattern existed when Mason had graduated college and started working at BI. I still had Aiden and Michael with me. And when Aiden graduated and started at BI, I still had Michael living with me. The campus house was now rented out to scholarship students. Well, not exactlyrented.They got to stay there for free as long as they maintained a certain GPA. That was Shane’s idea.
When Michael and I graduated, we made the grownup decision to buy condos and live separately, and even though we had keys to each other’s homes and we could come and go as we pleased, it still felt weird sometimes. I wasn’t used to the quiet.
I unlocked the front door and wasn’t even concerned with how hard the door shut behind me. I headed straight for Michael’s home office where I knew the bar was. I wish I could say I balked at drinking liquor at four in the morning, but I didn’t. I just didn’t give a fuck right now.
The door was already opened, so I just stormed right on in and pulled out a bottle of McCallan, and still having some sense left, pulled out a glass and started pouring instead of drinking straight from the damn bottle.
I was down one glass when Michael finally walked in; barefoot, hair a mess and wearing some lounge pants. “What the hell, Gabe?” And then his eyes widened when he saw me drinking. “What the fuck, Gabriel? Are you drinking at…” his gaze started shooting around the room until it landed on the clock behind him.“Are you drinking whiskey at five in the fucking morning?”
I deadpanned him as I took another swallow of the whiskey.
Michael ran his hands through his hair and down his face. “Jesus, Gabe,” he muttered as he made his way further into the room until he was seated on the edge of his desk. “What’s going on, man?”
I toss the remaining liquid back and poured number three. Without looking at him, I told him the truth. “Justice was out partying for some girls’ night bullshit last night and she met some guy who she’s going out on a date with tomorrow night. Or tonight, I guess.”
Michael let out a low whistle as he hopped off his desk and made his way to one of the barstools and sat. I pulled out another glass and poured him a drink. All those rumors people hear about twins and the weird connection were true where Michael and I were concerned. So, I wasn’t surprised that he joined me for a drink when, minutes earlier, he was appalled by my early morning alcoholism.
“Are you okay?” And then he winced when he realized what his words registered. “Never mind, man. Sorry.” He took a drink and then asked, “So, what happened?”
With great difficulty, I recalled the night’s events, and I didn’t leave anything out. Not even the fact that I couldn’t make Justice cum. We were so close, we’d never held back with each other. And that wasn’t just a twin thing. We shared shit with Mason and Aiden that most people would consider private, but not us. And Shane and Denise marrying into the family hadn’t changed that. They just became a part of the circle and gave us a female’s perspective when warranted.
Michael’s brows furrowed. “I don’t understand, Gabe,” he muttered. “Why would she think you guys are just fucking? I mean, you’ve been in love with her since we were 15 for fuck’s sake. You’ve never been with another woman or have ever been tempted to be. Even with the distance, when we were in college, you stayed faithful to her. Why would she…” He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
