Page 42 of If You Could Only See
He was acrossthe room with his hands on myarms and my back pressed up against the wall before I could blink.His silver eyes were swirling with anger, regret, shame and a wholehost of other things. He pierced me with his stare as he said, “Youwillneverfucking belong to someone else,Shane.”
I broke.
I broke downcompletely.
I startedsobbing, and the tears feltlike they were being ripped out from deep inside of me. “Please,Mason. P…please, just leave me alone,” I begged, not taking my eyesoff his. I had to show him how serious I was. How serious this wasto me. How serious my life was to me. “All I want is to go toschool and work. I just want my degree so I’m never homeless againand you…you’re jeopardizing my one and only chance here.” Mason letgo of my arms and took a step back from me. He looked torn, but Ididn’t care. I didn’t owe him anything. “I can’t study, work orconcentrate in class if I’m too busy crying over you or feelinglike I should just walk away from all my goals and dreams just toavoid you.”
“Shane…”
“I ambegging you, Mason,” I said, knowingI would use everything in my power to manipulate this situation tocome out in my favor. “I am begging you. Forget love and respect.If you have even an ounce of basic human compassion for me as aperson, you’ll leave me alone and not destroy everything I’ve beenworking towards for the last six years.” My sobs were real andpainful. “Oh, God, please. Please,please…”
His handsturned into fists athis sideand his face was pure anguished fury. “I can’t, Shane. I love you.I love y-”
“No, you don’t!” Iscreamed in his face. “I may have grown up without it, but even Iknow that this morning wasn’t love!”
“This morningwas love!” he roared back. “It was just cowardice, too! Cowardice on my part!”
“And Iwon’t love a coward, Mason!”How could he expect me to? “I have nothing and no one, don’t youget that? I havefuckingnothing!” Iyelled, again. “I want someone who is strong enough to be with meeven if it means we’ll have nothing together. I don’t want someonewho needs or wants money, status or power more than they want mewith my nothing.”
“Goddamn it!” he shoutedto the ceiling.
“Leave, Mason,”I begged, again. “Don’t ruin the only chance I have ata good life.Please.”
Helooked back down at me and the lookon his face almost dropped me to my knees. I was the one fallingapart, but he’s the one who looked like he was about tocrumble.
His voicesounded rough and ragged, “I can’t, Shane. I admit Ihandled shit wrong thismorning, but I meant every word I said to you.”
That was my chance.“Well, if it’s true that you truly do love me, then love me enoughnot to destroy my dreams and ruin my life, Mason.”
A few secondswent by before he stormed over tothe wall next to the front door and slammed his fist throughthe drywall. I stood there in shock as I watched Mason loseit.
Afterenoughhits to render his fistbloody and bruised, he turned the doorknob to the front door andswung it open. He was out the door, but not before he said, “I’mleaving, Shane, but this isn’t over. This is notfuckingover.”
My body slid tothe floor, as the doorshut,and I cried until I couldn’t anymore.
Chapter 22
Mason~
I probablyshould have been concerned that the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table was damn near emptyand it wasn’t even nine in the morning, but I wasn’t.
It wasn’t likeI was even going toget drunk.My mind was so fucked up over the shit with Shane; I was barelybuzzed right now.
The onlyreason I had left herapartment last night was because she was right, and while I wasn’tgoing to leave her alone, she deserved some space.
So, that’swhat I was doing. I was givingher space.
Because I sure in thefuck wasn’t going to let her go.
Not now andnot fucking ever.
Especially, now that I’vehad her. She was out of her mind if she thought I’d be okay lettingsomeone else take care of her; love her. And over my dead bodywould I let another man fuck her.
I heardfootsteps behind me and Iimmediately knew it was Michael. Aiden and Gabriel liked tosleep in during the weekends. Even if they hadn’t partied the nightbefore, they were big fans of sleeping in.
My assumptionwas confirmed when I felt the couch give next to me from Michael’sweight. “Can’t say I’ve everhad that for breakfast before. Is it hitting the spot?”
Igrunted and poured myself anthertumbler full. I took another sip before answering my brother,“Yep.” Michael let out a deep sigh.
