Page 3 of If You Could Only See
Thesecond I felt comfortable andsecure enough to think I wasn’t going to be moved again, I tooknight classes and went to summer school to knock out my high schoolcredits. When I turned 16, I stopped the night classes and got twoafter-school jobs, but I still went to summer school.
By the time Iwas a senior in high school, I had two grades under my beltboasting of straight A’s and ahealthy savings account. I spent a lot of my senior year takingindependent college courses and when I graduated, my transcriptsmade me look like a genius even though it was hard work that shouldget all the credit.
When Iwent to apply for colleges Iknew, that even with my academic transcripts being as good as theywere, a big college would have been too much for me.
Iknew that as soon as I graduated, Iwould have no one, and that meant college would be all on me. Evenwith my savings, it still would not be enough to get me throughschool and still allow me to eat.
So, I spent countlesshours searching small colleges and comparing four-year programs tosix. I looked up scholarships and grants available to childrenraised in foster care. I researched cost of living near every oneof those small colleges. I mean, I researchedeverything.
And I domeaneeevvveeerrryyything.
I was not goingto give up on my dream of getting a degree no matter what. And ifit took me spending countlesshours on the computer researching every college in the country,then that’s what I was going to do.
When Blaineviewfirst came to my attention, Iwas going to pass on it immediately. It’s a private college withall its monies privately donated by the attendee’s families. It’sthe epitome of rich and elite. It’s not a place I would have seenmyself going to.
But when I sawthat they had a program for‘Social Growth & Community Improvement’, I clicked on the linkand it took me to what amounted to a charity project. Basically,every year, Blaineview chose three poor kids to sponsor throughcollege.
There were amillion conditions, and if youbecame successful, you had to pledge a certain amount of yourincome to the college for a minimum of ten years. And thatstipulation came with its own million conditions. It felt likepromising your first born to Rumpelstiltskin.
Thebiggest lure was that Blaineviewcontracted to pay for all academic needs, such as books, projectmaterials, pens, paper…the works. So, not only was your tuitionpaid for, but you had a supply allowance leaving you to only haveto fend for your living costs.
And that’s where itgot super tacky.
And insulting.
If you were oneof the chosen students of their little charity program, then youweren’t allowed to live in thedorms. You had to find housing off campus and those living expenseswere your sole responsibility.
They didn’tmind paying for your education as long as you paid them back at alater date. But what they did mind was their charity cases daring to mingle above theirstation.
You could go toschool alongside their perfect children, you just weren’t allowed to engage with themsocially.
Thetheory…well,mytheory was that it wasall a test.
In appreciationfor their generosity, youhadto prove you were worthy of such generosity.
But I stillapplied even with my reservations aboutthe college because I was serious about my path outof poverty and pity. I wasn’t going to let my pride close any doorson possibilities. A bunch of rich kids were not going to intimidateme out of a future.
Besides,Blaineview was one of the mostillustrious and prestigious business and finance colleges inthe country. If it had the feeling of an elite-secret-knock kind ofschool, that’s because it was. Blaineview graduates went on to runWall Street and the like.
So, I applied and wasshocked all to hell when I had been chosen as one of thethree.
My first day atBlaineview had been a reenactment of my first day in my firstfoster home. I knew I didn’t belong and so I kept my head down and minded mybusiness.
Thesecondthey had accepted me, Ihad researched the town of Prescott, Indiana and had a job beforeclasses had even started. I had done all this discussing none of itwith The Stones, my foster family. I didn’t need different opinionsconfusing me or deviating me from the course I set formyself.
My savings hadbeen enough to secure a small apartmentwithin walking distance of the college and the townhad a bus service that could get me to work. Everything looked tobe working out and when I couldn’t put off telling Adam and Maggieany longer, I sat down with them and told themeverything.
Maggie had cried andAdam looked sad, but proud.
But what hadsurprised me the most was, the day I was set toleave, they had presented mewith a check for twenty-four thousand dollars. When I had tried todecline it, Maggie explained that it was the total of the fosterpayments they received for the three years I was with them. Adamadded that they fostered kids because they loved children and notfor the money. They felt the money belonged to the kids, and theyalways gave the money to their foster children to help give them afuture.
I took thecheck, and it wasn’t untilthat night, when I was sitting on the bed that came with myfurnished apartment, did I allow myself to cry over their generousand kind natures. I still talk to them from time to time, but I’veseriously spent my college years with little time on my hands foranything other than work and school.
Ijuggled eating and sleeping inthere too, sometimes.
And, now,threeyears later, I was oneyear away from holding the chance at a real future in my hands. So,yeah, I may have spent the past three years with my nose in a bookor a menu in my hand, but it was all going to pay offsoon.
Ididn’t regret not going toparties, meeting guys or making friends in the least. Those thingshadn’t been a priority growing up, and they sure hadn’t been apriority when I had gotten to college-much to Viola’sdismay.
