Page 39 of Gator's Gambit
“You’re unusually quiet,” I say after ten minutes.
He stops and turns to me, his face serious. “Pooks, I know you’ve only just arrived, and I wanted to give you time to settle in. But do you think we could go back to the bed and breakfast and talk?”
A lead ball settles in my stomach. “Is something wrong?” I feel sick contemplating the thought that maybe he’s decided he made a mistake, and he doesn’t love me like that after all.
“No. No, nothing’s wrong. There’s just so much I want to say to you, but I don’t want to have this conversation out in a public space.”
“Oh, okay. Sure. We can go back to my place and chat. Sure.” Despite his words, I want to cry. The mood has shifted, and everything suddenly feels heavy. The ice cream that just moments ago tasted heavenly now sits uncomfortably.
The drive to the B and B is very different to the one from the restaurant, and the urge to cry intensifies. I stare out my window and count cars as we drive to distract myself from that feeling. The tedious process of checking in makes me want to scream. I just want to get this over with.
My nerves are stretched to the max by the time the lovely hostess hands me my key.
Stopping at my door, Godric takes the keys from my now shaking hands and lets us into the room. I’m so in my head by this point, I don’t even take in my surroundings as I make a beeline for the sofa. I’m not sure how much longer my legs will hold me up.
He takes a seat next to me, takes my hand in his, rubbing a very gentle thumb over the top of it. “Baby, I really did mean to give you time to settle in. I know it was a long flight and an even longer day, but after seeing how the guys reacted to you, how you interacted with them – I can’t wait.”
Godric drops his head as if to study his shoes, rubs a hand over his head, ruffling the short strands of hair. Without thinking, I reach out to smooth the silken strands back into place, and he stills at my touch.
“What’s on your mind, Bean? If it’s bad, just rip the bandage off – just say it and we’ll go from there.”
A heartbeat of silence goes by, then another.
Without looking up he says, “I can’t give you specifics, but this last mission – let’s just say, it didn’t go quite as expected. Maybe hoped for is a better way of putting it. While I don’t want to freak you out, in the spirit of transparency, I have to tell you there was a moment or two I didn’t think I was going to make it home.”
My stomach cramps at the thought of losing this man. We’ve only just found each other, so to speak.
“In the blink of an eye, the mission went to shit, and Knight’s quick thinking got us out of a sticky situation. I swear that man was born to do what he does. Anyway, I digress. The thing that this mission brought into crystal clear focus for me is us.
“Or rather, the us that I’d like for us to be. I’ve wasted years I could have had with you because I didn’t think our families would accept a relationship with you being Em’s best friend and us growing up together.
“But standing on a mountain top staring down the barrel of someone’s weapon I understood that we can’t live for others. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, showing you how much you mean to me. Treasuring you. The problem is, how do we make it happen? With you in San Francisco and me here, how do we build a relationship with me gone a lot of the time?”
As I open my mouth to answer Godric, his cellphone rings. His frustration at the interruption is clear in the choice words he uses to express his displeasure.
“Sorry, I have to take this. It’s Bear.” I nod. “Yeah?”
I watch a range of emotions cross his face as he listens to what’s being said. None of them are happy ones. In fact, I’m grateful I’m not the big man on the other side of the phone. Eventually, Godric says, “Dude, I’m kind of in the middle of something right now. I’ll chat to Fancy and then let you know, yeah?” I can hear Bear answer him. “No problem. Chat later.”
Hanging up, he returns the phone to his pocket. “Sorry about that. I thought it was work related. Turns out it wasn’t. I’m guessing he lost the draw, so he and Eloise are the chosen ones to host the meet and greet.”
A little confused at his words, I frown, trying to make sense of them. But it’s a little like me attempting to read hieroglyphics. Both are beyond me. “You’re going to have to explain that in English for those of us that don’t speak SEAL.”
For a second, it’s Godric’s turn to frown before laughing. “My bad. Thatwassomewhat cryptic.”
“Somewhat?” I ask, quirking an eyebrow at him.
“It’s become tradition that when one of us becomes involved with someone, and it looks like it might turn serious, they’re invited around for everyone to meet them and decide if they approve. We draw straws, and whomever gets the short straw hosts.”
I stare at him, hoping I didn’t understand him correctly. “To vet them?” I finally ask, horrified.
“Yeah, I guess, if you want to put it that way.” He at least has the good grace to look sheepish.
“Yeah, I want to put it that way. That’s – that’s…” I can’t quite find the word that best fits what that is. Then it pops into my head. “That’s barbaric, is what that is.” I’m about to go off on him when he holds his hands up in surrender.
“Whoa there, tiger. Sheath those claws. I didn’t say it was right, or fair. But we stand together as family and watch out for each other.” I go to say something, and he continues, “Just give me a minute to explain, okay?”
Seething, I nod anyway. I’ll hear him out before I tell him what I think of this neanderthal system they have going. And to think the women are as complicit. I’m not sure I care for or about their approval anymore.
