Page 16 of Scooter's Endgame
I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders and turn to find Beckett beside me. “Come on, Kay. Let’s take a seat. I’m sure someone will be out in a minute to talk to you.”
I allow him to lead me over to the bank of chairs closest to the doors and take a seat. I sit, my eyes fixed on them, wondering what they’re doing to my little boy. If he’s even – I can’t even finish the thought. The sense of panic I’ve been battling back washes over me like a tidal wave, taking me under mercilessly.
My breath hitches, and I want to scream. Why didn’t they let me go back with them, like they normally do? As if simply thinking the words magically conjures a nurse, I see one hurrying toward me.
“Ma’am, are you the mother of the boy that’s just come in?”
“Yes, I am.” My voice wobbles as I reply.
“Come on back. Doctor would like to see you.”
I turn to Beckett. He nods. “Go on, I’ll be right here when you need me.”
Despite the stress of the situation, I can’t help but think how different this hospital visit is. If Jeff and I were still together, I’d be here all alone, going out of my mind with fear and no one to talk me down from the ledge.
A whispered “thank you” is all I can manage before I follow the nurse.
She leads me to a cubicle near the back of the room, but before she draws the curtain back, she cautions me. “I don’t want to scare you, but you need to be prepared for what you’ll see. We’re currently monitoring your son and he’s therefore attached to a myriad of wires. Parents sometimes have a hard time processing all of this, so you let me know when you’re ready and we’ll go in.”
“You can open. I just want to be with him. Please.” She dips her head, then pulls back the weird pastel blue curtains. The sight that meets my eyes, despite her warning, has me rocking back on my heels.
Luke looks so tiny lying on the bed, his complexion pasty white. A heart monitor blips out of rhythm and the quietsshhhof oxygen can be heard as it’s fed to him via a nasal cannula. An oximeter is attached to his finger, the display a glaring red harbinger of bad news.
“Ah, thank you, Nurse. Good evening, ma’am. I’m Dr. Ackhurst.”
“Hi, Doctor. I’m Kathleen Pierce. This is my son, Luke.”
He looks over at Luke, a serious expression on his face. “Mrs. –”
“That’s Miss –” I stop. Gather myself. Just because I’m freaked the hell out does not mean it’s acceptable to be rude. “My apologies, Dr. Ackhurst. I didn’t mean to be impolite.”
“No need to apologize, Ms. Pierce. It’s quite understandable that you’re under significant strain.” He gestures to the bed. “Our young man here is rather ill, I’m afraid. Can you give me some health history?”
I proceed to tell the man all about the circumstances of Luke’s birth and the subsequent years of hospital visits and stays for his asthma. “But other than that, he’s always been pretty healthy. I give him supplements to keep his immune system as strong as possible so that he doesn’t get colds and such.”
“Has there ever been any issues with his heart?”
My own heart sinks at the words. “His heart? Er, no. Not that I’ve ever been made aware of, at any rate. Why, is that what’s wrong? His heart?”
“I’m afraid there’s indication that there might well be. During the course of my examination, I’ve discovered a heart murmur, and an arrhythmic beat. I’d like to send him for some tests and to consult with a colleague from pediatrics.”
“That sounds serious.” I can’t seem to get the words to come out louder than a weak whisper.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Pierce. I know it’s not the best news, but if it is something to be concerned about, it’s always better to catch it when they’re young.” Giving me a kind smile, he continues. “Now let’s get your little man off for his tests and see what we can find, shall we?”
Biting down hard on my lip to stave off fresh tears, I simply nod. Two nurses, one of whom is the nurse who brought Luke back to the treatment room, release the brakes on the bed and ready it to be wheeled wherever they’re taking him.
The nurse who came to fetch me touches a hand to my arm to catch my attention. “Why don’t I escort you back to the waiting room where you can wait in comfort, and I’ll get you as soon as he’s settled after the tests?”
Feeling like a puppet being operated by the puppet master, I nod again. The short walk back to Beckett seems endless as I move ever farther from Luke. As she pushes the door open, I see Beckett stand and hurry over to me.
The intense sapphire of his eyes deepens as he studies me, concern clearly etched in his gaze. “What did the doctor say?”
I open my mouth to tell him, but all that comes out is a harsh sob that hurts my throat. Without another word, he simply wraps me in his warm embrace. He cups the back of my head in his palm, guiding it to his shoulder. With the other hand, he rubs soothing circles across my back.
The bustle of the ER ebbs and flows around us, yet none of it penetrates my bubble of misery as I give vent to the crippling fear that has taken up residence throughout my body. My entire body shakes, and my legs feel like Jell-O. Sobs wrack my body as the misery I can no longer keep contained pours out onto Beckett’s shoulder, soaking his shirt.
“That’s it, Kay. Let it out. I’m here.”
