Page 29 of Sassy Surrogate
I still feel guilty that the first one didn’t take, although the doctors insist it’s nothing I did wrong. It is, apparently, the nature of the process. It’s rare that the first attempt is successful, but still, I can’t help feeling bad for Heath. He never said a word when we were informed it had failed, but I saw the devastation in his eyes right before he left the room.
Never in my life have I ever met a man so focused on becoming a father. Mine certainly isn’t the best example of great parent material. But now that I’ve met Heath’s dad, I can see he at least has a great role model he can call on for guidance.
I startle violently at a knock on my bedroom door. I’ve been so lost in my thoughts about today it scares the hell out of me. Clapping a hand over my wildly beating heart, I go over to open it. My breath catches at the sight of a freshly showered and shaved Heath standing there. He looks sexy in a white button-down shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans that cling to his muscular thighs.
My mouth waters at the sight of him. And then there’s the smell of his aftershave that lingers in the air around him. Holy hell. The man is sex on legs. Shaking myself out of my now lustful thoughts, I realise he’s been talking to me, and I haven’t heard a word he’s said.
“I beg your pardon?” I ask, feeling stupid at being caught gawking at him like a teenager.
“I asked if you were ready to go. We don’t want to be late for our appointment.” His grin says he knows where my head was.
“Er, yeah. Let me just grab my things.”
He nods, leaning against the doorframe, indicating he’ll wait. Once I’ve got my bag and phone, he steps aside for me to pass, then follows, placing his hand at the small of my back. It’s these little things that get to me. I’ve never had a man make me feel so cherished, even when he doesn’t intend to. This is why I find myself in dangerous territory with Heath.
“Good morning, Danica. You seemed a little distracted just now, so I’m not sure you heard me.” His mischievous grin causes my lady bits to sit up and pay attention.
Blushing furiously, all I can manage is a slightly strangled, “Good morning.”
This time he flat out laughs at me. Leaning in close to my ear he says, “You’re the only person I know who blushes, and I’m curious to know how far down all that glorious colour goes.”
Before I can muster an answer, Kieran appears out of nowhere.
“Top of the morning to you, Danica. Sleep well, lass?”
He has fast become one of my absolute favourite people. And besides Heath, there’s no one I feel safer with.
“Good morning, Kieran. I did, yes, thank you.”
He tips his head back and laughs that rare but always welcome belly laugh of his. “You lie with such a straight face too.”
All I can do is grin at him sheepishly, having been caught in my little white lie. Knowing how important the outcome of today’s test is to Heath, I had a restless night. And I’m guessing by Kieran’s comment it shows.
The drive to the clinic feels like it lasts forever when it likely only took the usual twenty minutes. The closer we get to the medical facility, the harder my heart pounds. Worrying at a thumbnail, I stare out the window trying to calm my thoughts and my nerves.
What if today’s another bust, and Heath decides it’s more than he’s willing to deal with? The idea of having to leave this man now makes me want to break out in hives. Yes, Heath and his money currently stand between my mother and the loan shark’s goons. But more than that, I’m not ready to walk away fromhimjust yet.
Lying in my bed in the dark last night, I tried to imagine what it would be like being pregnant with Heath’s baby. My mind wandered, and before I could stop myself, I was dreaming of a life with him and our child. A life of love and laughter, secure in the knowledge that I was safe and cherished.
But in the harsh light of day, I know that’s all it is, a dream. He doesn’t want me. All he’s interested in is the baby he’s hired me to carry for him. I need to keep reminding myself of this inconvenient little fact.
“Stop it. You keep worrying at it like that you’ll make yourself bleed.” For the second time this morning, I startle at the unexpected intrusion into my thoughts.
At first, I’m a little confused until I realise what he’s referring to.
“Sorry. I’m just a little nervous I guess.”
He takes the offending hand in his and gives it a gentle squeeze before resting it on his thigh. I feel his touch through my whole body, my core clenching with desire. There’s nothing sexual about his touch, yet I can’t help but wish it were.
Heath angles his body toward mine, pulling a leg up onto the seat between us. “I know what you mean. Just remember, whatever happens here today, we’ll get through it. One way or another. Yeah?”
A lump forms in my throat at his words. I know how important this is to him, yet here he is trying to calm my fears. Regardless of how much time I have left with Heath, the knowledge that I’ll be leaving my heart behind when I do depresses me. Emotion wells, and all I can do is nod.
The rest of the trip is made in silence, leaving each of us to deal with our own inner demons.
15
Heath
