Page 18 of Loving Leila
“Yeah, I really do.”
I enter the apartment as she steps back to allow me in. Standing in the middle of her living room, I haven’t a clue where to start, but she’s standing a good few feet away from me, an expectant look on her face.
I take a moment to study her. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she looks exhausted, but the thing that slices deep is the sadness I see entrenched in her eyes. The sadnessIput there.
“Well?” she asks belligerently.
Chapter 15
Leila
Every last nerve-ending in my body feels like it’s taken up residence on the outside of my skin as I wait for Kyle to say what’s on his mind and then leave. I just want this to be over so I can crawl back into bed and lick my wounds. To begin the healing process. Again.
But instead, he’s studying me with those perceptive eyes of his that miss nothing. Still, he doesn’t speak, just calmly stands there staring like I’m a bug under a microscope.
“Kyle, either say what you came to say or get out. I have things to do.”
At my words, he paces away to the window, transferring his gaze to the world beyond. Relief is instant at no longer being the object of his scrutiny. His head drops, his shoulders droop, and the words that come out his mouth are the last ones I expect to hear.
“I was an idiot. I hurt you, and for that I’m sorry.”
Say what now?
He paces back to where I’m standing, and as I take a proper look at him, I realize he’s not as calm as I thought. In fact, he’s looking as exhausted as I feel and a little haggard besides. I feel an unwanted pang of sympathy to see him so careworn.
“I – um, I don’t know what to say to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just need you to know how soul-deep I regret hurting you.”
“Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say, but now I really need him to leave. I’m reeling from his words and want to be alone to process them. “Now that you’ve told me, I need you to leave. Like I said, I have things to do.”
I watch as he drags a hand down his face. “Give me a minute. I have more I want to say, but it’s difficult for me, and you’re not making this any easier.”
“I’m so terribly sorry I’m not making things easy for you, Kyle. Life isn’t easy.” I can’t help my sarcasm. The gall of this man. I’m not making it easy forhim? He can bite me.
He heaves a big sigh, his teeth clenched. “Leila, I don’t want to fight. Can we try and get through this without it turning into a knock-down, drag-out argument?”
The earnest expression on his face halts my sarcastic response. It’s my turn to sigh. Yes, I’m hurt and mad, but I also don’t have it in me to keep fighting. The pain meds I took earlier are wearing off, and I’m fatigued to my soul. The sooner we get through this, the sooner he’ll be on his way. I nod but don’t say anything more.
Kyle goes to speak again but is interrupted by a knock. Good lord, my home has turned into Grand Central Station today. Peeping through the security hole, I see Sherri standing in the hallway. Panic mode engaged.
I don’t want her to find Kyle here – irrational maybe, but I don’t. Yet I can’t in any way avoid it since she’s now right outside my apartment and Kyle’s standing in my living room, all six foot four of him. And I sincerely doubt he’s going to play along if I ask him to hide in my bedroom until she’s gone.
Fuck my life.
When I finally feel like I’ve gotten my life back under control and I’m doing fine on my own, this goat rodeo wrecks everything. I rest my head against the door and try to figure my way out of this mess. And almost come out of my skin when Sherri knocks again.
I have never yet worked out how a man as big as Kyle can move so quietly, but I clap a hand over my already pounding heart when I hear him ask from right next to me, “You planning on letting whoever that is in?”
“Leila, is everything all right in there?” I hear Sherri ask as she knocks for a third time.
Squaring my shoulders, I unlock the door and open it for her. Not much else I can do at this point.
“Hey, Sherri.”
“Everything all r-” Her eyes about pop out of her head when Sherri gets an eyeful of Kyle standing a couple feet away from me. “I – what – well damn.”
Out of nowhere a giggle breaks free. The sheer ridiculousness of my life in that moment weirdly tickles my funny bone, and all of a sudden, I’m howling with laughter at the situation, not to mention the expression on Sherri’s face.
