Page 49 of A Beginner's Guide to Forever
Hart glances at his watch and whispers, “I’m twenty-six now.”
And I’ll be thirty-eight next month. “Happy birthday,” I say.
He kisses me—slowly. Not caring who might be watching. The music drifts over the ocean breeze, and soon, Vaughn tugs me up to my feet.
“Dance with me!”
I should feel self-conscious, strange even. Instead, I laugh and sway my hips in time to the rhythm. Hart watches me with a soft, hooded gaze. It goes without saying that I don’t quite know what I’m doing ... dancing, or being here with him, or with my life in general. But there’s a rule I choose to abide by: when in doubt, dance it out.
Later, Hart has shown me to one of the unoccupied guest rooms and some member of the staff has already brought up my overnight bag, along with fresh towels and a couple of bottles of water. I’m half-surprised there’s not a mint on my pillow.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Mia?” I blurt without any finesse—any foresight. I’ve possibly had too much to drink.
A look of confusion passes across his features, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know. Did you want to have the whole ex conversation? Did you want to go through our pasts? Share body counts?”
I watch him, remembering the way his thumb stroked my cheek while he kissed me during our picnic in Napa.
“Yes ... no.” I cross the room to sit beside him on the end of the bed. “Maybe ...”
“What do you want to know?” he asks.
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Yes.” He meets my eyes with such a heated look, I have to look down.
He smiles a knowing half smile and then kisses me. Hard.
His lips leave mine to explore my jaw, my neck, my ear.
We kiss and kiss and kiss until my heart is pounding in my chest and I don’t know what will happen next, but I sense that whatever it is has the power to change me—maybe forever. A big part of me wants to throw all my rules out the window, but Hart, it appears, is thinking more clearly, because he finally pulls back with a soft sigh.
He touches his forehead to mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad I’m here too. Your friends are nice.”
“They are. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Mia.”
It’s okay,I want to tell him, but no words come out, because the truth is, I am curious.
He meets my eyes, his own curiosity winning out. “Has there been anyone since Sean?”
I shake my head.
I haven’t thought about Sean, haven’t experienced any sadness or heartache since meeting Hart, I realize. Even seeing Sean in person felt like ... nothing.
“Will you tell me about her?”
He hesitates, looking uncertain. “Sure. What would you like to know?”
Was that a picture of her on your phone I saw in Napa?
“How long did you date for?” I ask instead.
“About a year.”
“Did you love her?”
He shrugs. “At the time, I thought so. Now ... no, I don’t think I did.”
