Page 53 of The Marrying Kind
When I let out a long breath, she snapped. “Are you seeing someone else? Did you just cheat ...”
My face twisted in confusion, and I shook my head. “Give me a second, Ella. My brain is still catching up to you being here.”
Then it was her turn to let out a long exhale while I reveled a little in her jealousy. That boded well for me, right? The fact that she came home to me, in the middle of the night. The fact that she announced she wanted to be my girlfriend ... that all meant something.
Ella had put herself out on a limb for me. Now it was my turn. If she was going to grab what she wanted by the balls, then so was I.
My mouth opened, but then my brain sputtered and my mouth snapped shut again. Why was this so hard?
I needed to stop being a chickenshit and just come out with it already. No matter how crazy I sounded. No matter what she said in reply. I wasn’t going to live with more regrets. I wasn’t going to let what I wanted slip through my fingers again. I wouldn’t be able to live through the consequences.
“When you left last year, Ella, it tore me into pieces.”
My brutal honesty seemed to stun her. Her brows dipped in concern as she pulled her knees to her chest. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault, princess. You told me all along what you wanted. I should have listened to you. The trouble is, you were right that I wanted something different.”
She nodded in agreement, her expression sinking slightly. I wanted to reassure her right then that she was everything to me, but I needed to get all of this out. There was so much I needed to tell her.
“You wanted to experience the world. I don’t blame you for that. Hell, Ella, I admire you for it. I’m so fucking impressed by you. And seeing all your photos, hearing your stories, I’m so happy you went. You deserved all of those incredible experiences. And you know what I wanted the whole time? Like a selfish asshole, I wanted you to show up at my door and tell me you realized that I was more interesting than the whole world. And that was stupid of me. I know that.”
“Austen ...”
She sighed as if she wanted to protest, but I planted a hand on her knee and gave it a firm squeeze. She quieted, waiting to hear what else I would say.
“I’m so glad you didn’t.” I whispered the words. They were the truth, even though they were attached to a year of longing and loneliness.
Ella pursed her lips like she was holding back tears. I was doing a terrible job of telling her how I felt, obviously.
I scooted closer and brushed my thumb across her cheek. “I’m glad because you deserve the world. It’s so much more than the little life I wanted to give you. I know that. And maybe this isn’t something you’d want, but maybe it is. Ella, I hope it is. God, do I wish you’d say the words. Tell me that your next big adventure would involve becoming a resident of Kodiak Canyon.”
I planted a kiss on her cheek, then her nose, and her lips, and her forehead, until she giggled in response to my touch.
“Austen, tell me what you’re going to tell me already. You’re leaving me hanging.”
Nodding, I leaned back in my seat so I could see her whole face as I dropped my truth on her. “Ella, when you left, I realized I was in love with you. And now simply being my girlfriend isn’t going to be enough.”
A mix of expressions quickly danced across her beautiful face. Relief, maybe, then a look of worry. She thought I was ending things.
All right, then. Time to get to the damn point. Nut up or shut up. This is it.
I moved from the couch and dropped down on one knee in front of her, grabbing her hand.
“When you left, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized a few things. That I’m happier with you in my life. That I could never compete with all the new experiences and exotic places on your bucket list. The only thing I could offer you was unconditional love ... But then it dawned on me, that was the one thing your life was missing. I don’t think your parents would have given up their thirty-year love affair for a couple of trips around the globe. What I want to give you can’t be stamped into a passport.”
Her expression changed and was filled with emotion. “Austen, I realized that too. That’s why I’m here.”
Her expression changed, softening, and I could hardly hope after so much heartache, so I rambled on.
“Hawaii is always going to be there. Paris isn’t going anywhere. Don’t say you’ll stay out of obligation ... say you’ll stay because you want a life with me. It won’t be perfect, princess, but I promise it’ll be worth it.”
“That’s what I want.”
I steeled myself and braved the words. “Marry me, sweetheart.”
Ella beamed as she gave me a breathy, “Yes.” When I just blinked at her, she said “Austen, I said yes. Now kiss me.” She giggled and grabbed my hand to pull me close.
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