Page 28 of The Marrying Kind
Austen paused, swallowing his words, and took a minute to compose himself. I didn’t know how much sadness I could take right now, so I was relieved when he said, “It’s a story for another time.”
I knew he wasn’t just blowing me off, and trusted that he would tell me another time.
“Okay.” I lifted my wineglass from its spot on the coffee table and took a fortifying sip. “Sorry to cry on you.” I gestured to his shirt, which was damp with my tears.
He gave me a sad smile. “I didn’t mind. Are you ... okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I think I needed that. I guess I was just trying to power through and pretend that Christmas wouldn’t bother me, but I guess the truth is, it’s hard. And it might always be.”
“I think it’s supposed to be hard. You loved them. If you didn’t, it wouldn’t hurt this much.”
“So, you’re saying maybe it’s a good thing that this is hard, that it’s a testament to how deep our bond was?”
“I wish it wasn’t hard, but yeah, I guess it just shows how big your relationship was, how amazing they were—are. Sorry, I’m not good at this.”
Austen’s dark brows pushed together as he met my eyes, like he really wanted to get this right. To understand me and my life.
“Well, I think you are. Thanks for everything. For listening.”
He nodded. “Anytime.”
For most people that was just something you said—sure,anytime. But I knew that when Austen said it, he meant it.
I balled up the tissues I’d used and took another sip of wine. This impromptu therapy session wasn’t what I expected tonight. Then again, I was learning to expect the unexpected in Kodiak Canyon. Finding people who cared about me was the last thing I’d anticipated. I might as well soak it in now. I wouldn’t be here much longer.
“I think I might call it a night and head to bed.”
He nodded. “Sure. Whatever you want.”
“Thanks, Austen.” I leaned in close to him and pressed a kiss to his scruffy cheek.
I rinsed my wineglass and placed it in the dishwasher. Then I climbed the stairs and headed up to bed. But after brushing my teeth and crawling between the blankets, I felt restless, and not at all tired. It was quiet downstairs, though, and I wondered if Austen had decided to go to bed too.
Another hour passed while my mind continued to spin in circles. With a huff of frustration, I flung back the blankets and got out of bed. It was dark downstairs with only the light of the nearly full moon to guide my path. It wasn’t until I neared the sofa and found Austen lying there with a blanket over him did I stop and question what the hell I was doing.
At the sound of my footsteps, he propped himself up on one elbow. “Ella?”
“Sorry. Did I wake you?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t sleep.”
I took a step closer. “Why not? Is everything okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I was just thinking, I guess. You couldn’t sleep either?”
I shook my head and ventured closer. When I stopped right beside him on the couch, Austen pulled back the covers. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, I lay down beside him.
When I snuggled in close to his broad chest, Austen brought his arms around me. He smelled fantastic and felt so solid and strong.
You know those moments that just feel different? Like everything’s about to change? This was one of those moments. I could feel it the second Austen decided to break his own rule.
He brought his hand up to cup my cheek. Then he ran one rough finger along my cheek and turned my mouth to his.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
We’d shared a heavy moment earlier. I liked that he was checking on me.
“I am now,” I whispered.
