Page 24 of The Marrying Kind
I was a little shocked by his answer, but it was just the thing I needed to hear. My obsessive crush on Austen was caught in my brain like a fish in a net. The little fantasy that was taking root shriveled back just then, because if he wanted kids, we would never work.
Not that I didn’t want them, but it was something that was off the table for me. And I would never put someone in a situation like that, where they had to learn the hard way or feel the pain that I had.
I dug my nails into my palm to stop the thoughts in their tracks.
10
ALL UP IN MY FEELS
Austen
“Why she insists on using this old thing when we have a perfectly good snowplow is beyond me,” I said to Noah as he pulled the old snowblower out from the garage. The wheels crunched over the gravel.
“You know Ma; she likes being independent. And sometimes we’re busy.”
“More often than not these days,” I said.
I used to have no problem keeping up with the chores Mom and Nana needed, but our business was growing faster than a wart on a toad. That meant longer days and less time to help out. Things would be even harder if Logan decided to head off to college next year. He did a lot to help out around here too.
“You get the plugs. I’ll do the carburetor,” I told Noah.
It was a rare sunny day and most of the snow was melting, so it was the perfect time to work outside on the snowblower tune-up we’d promised Mom a few weeks ago. Even if it was nearly Christmas Eve.
“How’s it going with Ella?” he asked in a tone I didn’t fully appreciate.
“She’s still here, isn’t she?”
Noah unscrewed the plug with the big socket wrench and inspected it. “True. She lasted a whole week with you. But what’s her plan now?”
I popped out the carburetor and set to work checking it over. “Probably picking out a white dress,” I joked. It was really bothering him, and my inner big brother required that I exploit such a situation. “Speaking of which, how are the wedding plans coming along? You and Rachel set a date yet?”
He had screwed back in the spark plug by then and started emptying the oil. The dark liquid drizzled into a bucket with a little pattering sound.
“We want to wait until summer so we can do it outdoors. Maybe this year. Maybe next. Now that I have her, there’s no rush. Forever already started when she said yes.”
The idea made me bite down on the inside of my cheek.Hard.
It didn’t feel fair that it had happened so easily for him. Well, not all that easy. I might have had something to do with making it a little more difficult than it needed to be. Not that it was my intention. In the beginning, I’d just been so certain that Rachel would leave him again—just like she had when she was younger—and I didn’t want to see Noah get crushed a second time.
“Can I ask you something?” My tone was more serious than Noah was used to, which caused him to straighten up and look at me.
“What’s up?”
“Promise not to make fun of me,” I said seriously.
“Not a chance in hell, but tell me anyway.”
That little shit. Sometimes talking to Noah was like trying to sniff a fart in a hurricane. Impossible.
I growled in frustration, but I needed to know if I was the only one. If I were, maybe I’d have my head examined. I could have grown some sort of tumor that causes men to want unavailable women. It could be a thing. The human brain was an enigma.
“You know how women get that biological clock thing—”
He nodded. “So I’ve heard.”
“Do you think guys get it too?” I was being about as cryptic as a stop sign, but I was at my wits’ end.
“Where is this coming from?” He wiped the dipstick with purpose, avoiding my eyes.
