Page 42 of The Marrying Kind
“Hell no. I’m just wanting to get this right because I’ll have to market whatever crazy shit you’ve come up with this time.” My tone was biting, but I couldn’t help it. I was all kinds of agitated.
My brother gave me a skeptical look. “This one is a citrus wheat ale.” He slid a second glass forward. “Then this guy is the original formula, but with a hint of blood orange. If we can decide soon, I can get these ready for a spring launch.”
I tasted each one in turn, but the flavors were flat for me. It was like even my taste buds decided to be depressed about Ella leaving.
Dammit, I had been fooling myself this whole time, and it was really starting to piss me off. All I wanted to do was see Ella today, and I managed to snap at her this morning, leaving as early as I could. I just didn’t have it in me to spend the day with her again, only to watch her walk away from this—from me.
After we made love in the yurt and then watched more of the light show in the sky, I was so sure that despite her words, she’d be falling head over heels for me, and I’d be there to catch her. But that didn’t happen. She wasn’t in this like I was. Her heart was tied to her bucket list, and loving me wasn’t on her list.
“Well?” Noah looked at me expectantly.
“They’re both good. Either is fine. Whatever.”
“What happened to my opinionated brother? Are you feeling well?” He pressed his hand to my forehead, but I slapped it away. “Maybe we should get Ella down here to decide, since you’re so useless to me right now.”
“Don’t, please.”
Noah ignored me and tapped out a message on his phone.
“When did you get her number?” I growled, feeling a twinge of annoyance.
He laughed at my reaction. “She’s up with Mom, you asshat. Chill.”
I rolled my eyes and felt a mix of joy and pain at the idea of seeing Ella walk through that barn door. But when she appeared, there was only heartache left as I watched her brush a dusting of fresh snow off her shoulder and take a seat across from me.
“What are we tasting?” she asked easily, as if her entire fantasy life wasn’t imploding before her very eyes.
Mine was, of course, the reverie I had spun about Ella falling in love with me and abandoning her life plans.Damn, I’d been a selfish fool.
“Wheat citrus or the blood-orange ale.” Noah poured a little out for her into the tasting glasses.
She sipped the first beer and a little bit of foam stuck to her upper lip. I watched her tongue dart out and lick it away. When she sipped the next beer, her face lit up with excitement. Her eyes widened, and she let out a satisfied sigh.
I tore my gaze away and dug my nail into my thumb before I could watch her tongue lick her lip again.
“This one is complex and bright. The blood orange. I love it. Just, wow,” she said.
Ella was so conclusive about things, like which ale was her favorite, and her assumption that we couldn’t be together because she couldn’t have kids. My head was still all twisted up about that, because she’d given me more than one reason why she couldn’t stay. She said it was to see the world, but she’d also told me she couldn’t have kids.
Maybe she was leaving to spare me? If so, she was dead wrong on that score. Her leaving would only hurt me. I’d never met another woman I wanted to be with so badly, and I was sure I wouldn’t meet one again.
“Exactly what I thought. You have great taste, El.” Noah clinked glasses with her, and they both took another sip.
“Which did you like?” she asked me, and I managed to wipe the scowl from my face.
“Same. They both tasted fine to me too.”
“Just fine? That blood orange was incredible.” She gave me an easy smile.
“Ignore him. He’s been grumpy all day. You sticking around for dinner tonight?” Noah asked her as he cleared the glasses.
“No, I just was up saying good-bye to Natalie and Dottie. I’m leaving early in the morning, and I figure I’ll spend tonight packing up.”
Noah gave me a look that told me he could see the knife in my heart. “What about you?”
Maybe that was my out ... my chance to leave well enough alone and join my family for dinner, to put Ella behind me and start living again, but I couldn’t bear the thought of letting more time slip away. I’d been kicking myself all day about it already. I’d be damned if I let her leave here thinking I didn’t want her, even if it killed me.
“I’m in the mood for pizza. How’s that sound, Ella? I can run to town and pick it up while you start packing.” I shot her a look, and she smiled at my peace offering.
