Page 40 of The Forever Formula
“Well, that doesn’t mean anything. Luckily for us all, what you picture and the reality of the world are two unrelated things.”
I was starting to get really irritated at him then, and felt the strong urge to defend her. I broke out into a passionate speech as he walked around to the driver’s side door.
“The other night ... you should have seen it. She delivered a baby in town, and she was practically glowing after that. I think she likes feeling useful here.”
I was beaming at the thought of it. Seeing Rachel contented filled a hole inside me that I didn’t know I had.
“Surely, there’s more land available around here?” I said, challenging him.
Austen wore an exasperated expression as he slid into the driver’s seat. “You don’t think I’ve looked? There’s nothing in town that’s suitable for sale.”
“Then go further out,” I said as I leaned my arm on his door frame.
He shook his head. “That creates other logistical issues. It’s time for Plan B. I didn’t want to have to suggest this option, because it’s not the best move for us financially, but what if you convinced Rachel to lease us the land?”
He turned the key, and the engine roared to life.
His idea might have had merit, but his little outburst at Rachel the other day meant that I wanted nothing to do with anything involving the wordsconvincingandRachel.
I scowled. “We just need to find another option. That’s all there is to it.”
Austen shook his head. “Dammit, Noah. Thinking with your dick again.”
Normally, he’d be right. He might have been right the first time, about why I’d pushed off talking to her for so long. But not now. For once, I actually wasn’t thinking with the wrong head.
Would my dick like to be parked inside of Rachel? Absolutely. But that’s not what this was ... plus, we seemed to have cosmic bad luck. Anytime we tried to hook up, an obstetric emergency conspired to keep us apart.
“That’s not it.” I tried to argue, but it sounded feeble and just gave Austen more ideas.
“You still in love with her, bro? After all these years? After how she left you?” Austen raised a brow as if to saycheckmate.
I shook it off. “No, I’m not still in love with her. And I’m not mad at how she left either. But I still care about her, of course. We all do.”
Austen shrugged. “I haven’t seen her in ten years. I don’t really know her anymore. You know?”
I huffed out a breath as he reached out and gently pressed me back.
“I don’t want to be late. Just think about what I said. Don’t fuck me over in this business, Noah. Not for a chance to hook up.”
As he drove away, his words swam in my head.
Was Rachel a hookup?
She’d been on my mind a lot, but we hadn’t actually spoken in three days. I’d texted once or twice to check in with her, but I had to attend a brewing workshop I’d committed to. I knew she’d been busy restoring the cabin—mainly addressing the long list of shit Austen had reminded her of.
She’d definitely taken Austen’s advice about winterizing, because I saw the AmeriGas truck hauling a load of propane up the hill yesterday to where her grandfather’s tank was buried.
Could she really be staying through the winter?
I knew she was toying with the idea, but there was a fear in the back of my mind that she’d decide to leave after all. I guess because that’s what happened when I was sixteen.
I knew she’d just graduated, but I was immature and didn’t think ahead back then. It had never occurred to me she was leaving. And she didn’t bother mentioning it until the end of the summer, only a few days before she was set to fly away and out of my life, seemingly forever.
The loss I’d felt back then had been all-consuming. I’d sulked for days.
At that moment, as I reflected on it all, those memories burrowed deep in my gut and strengthened a new resolve in me. If I had a shot with a girl like Rachel, I wasn’t going to waste it.
As soon as I could finish up my work today, I was going to see her. And I’d be damned if I was mentioning Austen’s new harebrained scheme of leasing her land.
