Page 83 of Hot Blooded
Part of me hates that I’m moving on this way. The other part of me knows I had little choice. Reign was my everything. My soulmate in every sense of the word. Just because he was born sometime in the 19thcentury (he never would tell me the exact date) and had the misfortune of being turned into a vampire… none of that mattered. Our hearts were synced. Twin flames. Even if I said yes to a future with Connor, I will never get over Reign. A huge part of my heart still beats for him, and I can’t even let myself think about him without falling apart.
I’ve just finished getting ready for bed—brushing my teeth and washing my face—when my cell phone rings. I check the caller ID and see a name that’s both familiar and foreign.
Reign.
I fumble with the phone and click Answer.
“Hello?” I say, sounding hollow.
For a moment, Reign doesn’t say anything and oh God, if he butt-dialed me, I will die of embarrassment and dread. And it’s true that Reign barely knows how to use a cellphone, so anything is possible…
“Tressa,” he says finally.
I release a slow breath.
“Hello,” I repeat again.
“Is he treating you well?”
Is who?My stomach plummets. I didn’t know that he knew about Connor. But I guess it makes sense, little gets past Reign.
“What are you talking about?” I play coy, because admitting my new relationship to him sounds dreadful.
“You have a new man in your life, do you not?” He sounds genuinely curious.
“Yes,” I manage, still in shock. I can’t lie to him.
“Right. So then let me repeat my question. Is he treating you well?”
“Y-yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Connor.”
“How long have you been seeing him?”
“A short time. Just under a month.” A month isn’t a long time, but somehow admitting the timeframe makes everything sound worse. Like I’ve stabbed Reign in the back. If only he knew… but I can’t tell him.
The depth of Reign’s feelings for me scared him, at least that’s my working theory. But if he didn’t want me, I had no choice but to leave… to move on. Right? Then why do I feel so awful and empty, like I’ve let Reign down by moving on.
“Have you let him fuck you?” His low voice curls around the words.
I swallow the sudden lump in my throat.
“Answer me, Tressa.”
“No,” I manage. Oh my God, I can’t believe he just asked me that. If I had, I wouldn’t lie. But there’s been something stopping me each time we’ve gotten close.
“Does he please you?” His voice is dark over the words.
I can’t respond. Bile rises in my throat at the memories of letting Connor touch me. I shouldn’t have… No that’s stupid. I should have. I can’t stop living. “Reign,” I plead.
“Does he make you come?”
My throat feels tight. “Y-yes.”Not like you do…
“Good.” His tone is clipped. Angry. And I feel the accusation deep down inside of me. While I’m busy enjoying someone else, Reign is all alone and miserable. I suddenly hate myself even more, if that were possible. Why couldn’t I have remained single? Why couldn’t I have kept my legs closed? But Reign is the one who sent me away. I wouldn’t even be in this position if it weren’t for him. He cast me aside, and while I knew that he still had feelings for me, I also knew that our future together was unmistakably flawed. We couldn’t be together—not like I wanted—not while he was a vampire, and I was a human. A point he isn’t willing to negotiate on.
