Page 73 of Hot Blooded
“It would be a good life. You staying here. But it wouldn’t be the life you really wanted. It would be settling.”
She shakes her head in disagreement. “Not for me it wouldn’t.”
“I won’t let you throw away your future,” I decide.
“You’re being petty. You know, it’s entirely possible that I can’t even get pregnant. So your theory is for nothing. And who says I want to be married in a church? I know my own mind, Reign.” Tressa shifts away from me on the bed, her face looking hurt, her tone sharp and defensive.
“I’m not going to argue with you,” I sigh and rub my hands over my face, because I need to do something. Seeing her breaking up like this tugs at my heart. I want to reach out and grab her, give her everything she asks for, even if it’s foolish. I set my jaw, steeling myself. Throwing up walls around my heart so I don’t falter.
“Why do you romanticize old age? Is it because you can’t have it?” she fires back at me. “Tell me.”
I shake my head. I don’t think I do, do I? No. “Maybe I’ve made my life appear glamorous to you, Tressa. But I assure you, it’s a dreary and dull existence. I’ve done everything there is to do in the world. Seen everything. Owned everything. Fucked everyone. Drank every type of blood. Eaten every food. Visited every country. Played every sport I care to play. Read every goddamn book…”
I let my words trail off, taking a second to collect myself because my voice was beginning to rise rather high. I don’t want to part like this with her. I don’t want this to be her last memory of me. But how can I help it now?
“That’s bullshit. I’ve seen the way you light up, enjoying the world with me. You need love in your life, Reign. The love of a woman, perhaps even children. Hell, every twenty years we could adopt new children, raise them, enjoy all their first times. Don’t you get it? That’s the magic in the world. We can do that forever. Times are always changing. You act like you livein the same world today that you did a century ago. But there is beautiful new music, and dance, new plays, new movies, new foods believe it or not…”
Tressa’s shaking as she pauses to breathe.
“You need love, Reign…” she whispers.
My lips pull into a deep frown in disagreement. Love has only ever burned me. I need love like I need a stake in the heart. Not that Tressa would burn me. She is too kind and precious. But watching her age and losing her, that would kill me. Seeing the stares and jeers when she becomes an old woman on the arm of a young vampire… she deserves a normal life.
“Maybe you don’t love me though. I guess I’ve been stupid. It’s not like you’ve said the words to me anyway,” she squeaks and her words would take my breath away, if I had any.
Of course I love her, but I can’t tell her as much right now. It’s better that I never told her. Maybe it makes it easier for her to move on.
“Tressa…” I say weakly, not sure what else to say. I can’t fight with her about this. I don’t even know when it happened, but my mind is now made up.
“One truth?” Tressa requests. I tip my chin. “You owe me that much,” she points out.
“Of course,” I give in. “What would you like to know?”
“Will you ever turn me?”
Her words leave a gaping hole in my heart. I wish I could lie to her, tell her that of course I will—someday—and stall for time because I didn’t even intend this morning to become the end forus, and yet here we are. But Tressa would grow old and frail by my side. It’s a future I can’t bear to face. I’m a coward.
“Never,” I admit. The word hangs heavily between us for a few beats.
Then her face falls and just like that, our happy little morning is over.
A monumental shift has just taken place. There won’t be any tea and scones this morning, there won’t be deep conversations in the library later, or date nights in town… Things are ending, collapsing all around me. And it’s my own fault.
She rises from the bed, tugging the silk sheet with her as she moves from the bed.
“This is not your path, Tressa. Go live your life.” I try soothing words but they come out raw. Hollow-sounding to my own ears.
And those are the last words I say to Tressa as she retreats from my bedroom, tearfully and gripping a sheet around her.
Chapter 38
Tressa
I can’t catch my breath. What is even happening right now? I’m standing naked with a sheet clutched around me, staring at my bed.Not my bed, Reign’s guest bed.I need to pack. I need to get out of here.
There’s a knock at the door. For a fleeting second, I hope it’s Reign telling me this was all a cruel joke. It’s not.
It’s Mrs. Potts. She gives me a sad smile. “Oh dear,” she hums with a shake of her head. “Can I help with anything?”
