Page 53 of Hot Blooded
Just last night, we’ve talked about changing me. He says he doesn’t want me to know the loneliness and confusion he’s felt.
I argued that we could be together for all of eternity andeven though he agreed, he hit me with a “things don’t always go according to plan.” That one stung.
But if he gave in, what happened today, well, it wouldn’t have happened. Even if he doesn’t change me over, my life may not go according to plan. There was definitely something else he was holding back.
***
When I get home from the mall, with three large shopping bags and feeling a tad more relaxed, I find Reign sulking in his study.
I pause in the doorway. “How was feeding?” I ask.
“Fine. How was the shopping trip?” he counters.
I sense we’re both still feeling each other out.
“Wonderful. Thank you for doing that,” I reply as I take a step closer to test his reaction. I need to hug him, kiss him,tell him I’m not afraid of him, even if a tiny part of me now appreciates that he really could lose control.
I don’t want to bringitup, but it really is the elephant in the room, for me at least. I want to talk it out. “You know,” I start carefully, taking another step further. “If you turned me, we wouldn’t have to worry about issues like this afternoon.”
Reign seems to choke on nothing in particular, apparently not expecting this from me. "Tressa. Why would you say something like that?”
I lower my eyes at him like I’m staring down a target. “Are you really going to play coy? Pretend that there isn’t something between us? More than the hormones and kisses and one time you drank from me… the one time you let me pleasure you… Why are you resisting this so much?”
My brows knit together in question as I await his reply, my breath quickening in anticipation.
Reign rubs a hand over his face, shoulders sinking. “Tressa, it’s not that simple. You make it sound as if we could just be together. Live happily ever after. But I’m not prince charming. I’m the evil monster that ruins things for the princess.”
I shake my head throughout his speech of self-loathing. “I want you, Reign. Your tongue on my body, you drinking my blood while you’re buried inside me…” I’m getting myself worked up just talking about it.
“You’re a wicked girl,” he says with a hoarse voice, licking his lips.
“Don’t change the subject. Either tell me I’m not what you want, not good enough for you. Or stop resisting me.”
“Tressa,” he whispers, clearly torn up. He’s keeping something from me, I can tell. Whatever it is, it’s holding him back. And knowing him, it’s some valiant thing that wouldn’t bother me one bit.
He doesn’t reply to me so much with words as body language, crossing one ankle over his knee.
“What aren’t you telling me, Reign Tryst?” I question him, moving closer still.
“I had a previous human lover,” he says in a stony far-off tone. His words cut me and I freeze in place. “Her name was Daniella.”
The name takes my breath away, sucks all the air straight from the room. My head instantly spins, thinking over all the words I read in the diary. Seeing it all in a new light. Daniella was his human lover… It was her story. And here I thought it was just some dusty old journal. I’m suddenly eager to get back to my room, to finish the diary. That, or never open it again, because suddenly it feels like a huge invasion of his privacy.
“What happened?” I finally ask, voice shaky.
He shakes his head. “A lot.”
“One truth,” I prompt.
His face falls. But his mouth opens to answer. “She… was killed.” He emphasizes the last word, as if to make a point.
“By who?” My words are barely audible, they sound far away, like someone else is asking.
The look on his face tells me everything. Confirming my worst fears.
“No,” I whisper, head shaking in disbelief over the obvious truth. “Reign. I’m sure it was an accident. Like my sister and the fire. You said so yourself. Accidents happen…”
“You were a child. I was an adult. I should have had more control by then…” his words trail off, an unmistakable hitch in his voice. If vampires can cry, I have a feeling I’m about to find out.
