Page 39 of Hot Blooded
Even when I could feel the life slipping from Tressa last night, I didn’t stop right away. That hasn’t happened to me since back when I was first turned and my control was far less reliable. But I never took it too far. Never killed. Well, not since… I can’t even think about her name because it makes my chest ache and I’ve spent centuries trying to forget.
Tressa is bringing all that rushing back to the surface.Her effect on me scares the daylights out of me.
I also feel badly that Tressa hadn’t been able to enjoy more of the gala. I’d dragged her away like a caveman while shooting murderous glares at my brother.
Though I couldn’t exactly blame him for telling her about Kai. I have nothing to hide. Kai is in my past, and that’s exactly where she will stay.
Alastair stopped by earlier asking me to play tennis with him. At first I refused, but when I sensed he wasn’t going to leave, and would likely just hang around all day bothering me with his nonsense chatter, I went and changed into athletic shorts and a pair of tennis shoes. I grab my racket and a canister of balls and meet him out at the tennis courts in the back edge of my lawn.
I haven’t played in years, but Alastair doesn’t go easy on me. He lobs a ball over the netting with too much force and I have to dodge it, rather than attempt to return it.
“What the hell was that?”
He rubs one hand over the handle of his racket and chuckles. “Sorry. Got carried away.”
We play for maybe twenty minutes more, and when Alastair sees me checking my watch for the third time, he pockets the ball instead of serving it and jogs over toward me.
“Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
The truth is, I’m worried about Tressa and I don’t want to be gone too long. I want to check on her again.
I shake my head. “I’m just not in the mood for tennis.” At least that part’s true.
“Two more points,” he says, jogging back to his side.
We play for a few minutes more and then Alastair approaches the net, bouncing a tennis ball in his hand.
“How are things going between you and your new librarian?”
“Fine.” My curt tone says for him to drop it. Too bad Alastair is bad at picking up on personal cues.
“Just fine?” His mouth lifts in a lazy smile. “She’s a lovely girl.”
“She is,” I agree.
“And she’s still alive so I take it you haven’t…”
“Alastair…” I warn, but he levels me with a dark look. “I can show restraint, you know.”
He chuckles. “You could show about as much restraint as a pit bull eating a T-bone.”
Ouch.The truth hurts, ladies and gentlemen. I didn’t expect Alastair to bringherup though. That’s forbidden territory. Then again, I think he might be doing it for my own good, as a reminder of what’s on the line if I actually throw my good sense aside and go after Tressa.
He toys with his wristwatch before leveling me with a glare. “Let’s say you guys do decide to move forward—a happy human-slash-vamp-hybrid couple. Because that makesperfectsense.” Sarcasm drips from his words. “What about the rest of her needs? How will you provide for those?”
“What do you mean?” It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that Tressa might have needs I couldn’t account for. Ensuring I never lose control, and keeping her alive has been at the forefront of my brain. I’ve clearly forgotten what it means to date a mortal woman.
“She’s ahuman,” he emphasizes this word. “She’ll want human things. She’ll want babies, won’t she? And I hate to break it to you brother, but you don’t have the equipment.”
I would make a joke about my equipment being in fine working order, but he’s right. My chest seizes. I will never be able to give Tressa all the things she desires. If motherhood is on her radar, and why wouldn’t it be—she’s so nurturing and loving—I won’t be able to give that to her. The thought stings, and I rub at an achy spot in my chest.
“You don’t have any baby batter,” he says with a wolfish grin, driving the point home.
“Screw off, Alastair.” While we have the ahem,batter, what my crass brother means is that vampires cannot produce children. It is both a blessing and a curse. But the idea that I’ll never see Tressa grow round with my child is a very bothersome one. A physical ache forms in my chest. Knowing her flat belly will never feel the stirrings of life, will never grow full with the seed I’ve planted there… For the first time in a long time, my desire to be human nearly overwhelms me.
“Are we done here?” I ask, handing him my racket.
With a sigh, my brother concedes. “Yes. But only because you’re a piss-poor competitor.”
