Page 16 of Breaking the Rules
The door clicks shut, leaving Grant, Justin, Jordie, and me to watch the tiny humans for the next several hours. There are eight of them between the four of us, so we’re vastly outnumbered.
Jordie waits until the coast is clear before launching back into hiscloth versus disposable diapertirade. “Anyway, like I was saying—”
Before he can really get into it, the door swings back open and Harper pokes her head in to yell, “Jordie! Don’t forget to change the girls’ diapers!”
The door closes again and Jordie rolls his eyes, gesturing to the twins on the diaper-changing pad where he’s already begun operations. “She says this as if I can’t smell them.”
Ava and Ella are only four months old—roughly the same age as my little Colson. It’s the time when babies will smile and laugh at pretty much anything, especially their dad’s funny faces as he changes their rank-ass diapers.
I get some sick satisfaction watching someone else deal with the reality of twins. Double the cute, double the crap. The serendipity of it all still gets to me sometimes. I guess twins run in the NHL family.
“Look, I’ve done the research, and cloth diapers are massively better for the environment,” Jordie says. “Our landfills are atminimumtwo percent used diapers.”
“Maybe so, but disposables are massively better for my sanity,” I shoot back. “I’m not spending hours every day shoveling sh—I mean,crapout of three kids’ worth of glorified napkins.”
I look down at Colson, the little guy sound asleep in my arms. He had a long day, staring at his older siblings and having a complete meltdown whenever they left the room or even his line of sight. The twins are upstairs taking a nap too, thanks to Becca. It’s a blessing for more than one reason. Since they’re bipedal now, all our girls want to do is poke and pull at their new baby dolls, Ava and Ella.
Reluctantly, I turn my attention back to Jordie, who is fastening each cloth diaper with some kind of snapping contraption.
He shakes his head, sighing as he says, “It’s not that bad, man. You gotta at least give it a shot.”
Jordie looks to Grant for help, who merely tips his beer back and says, “We used disposable.”
I lift my own beer in grateful acknowledgment.
“Justin?” Jordie gives him a pleading look.
“I don’t think I get an opinion in this particular field,” Justin says with a shrug, blissfully childless.
Sometimes I envy the guy. But then I remember that having kids was the best decision I’ve ever made, and I wouldn’t change a thing about that.
“You guys just lack imagination. I’m telling you, the pros are undeniable. Cloth is cheaper in the long run. And it’s better for sensitive skin.” He tips his head down, his voice suddenly more lyrical and goofier. “Isn’t that right, Ava? Ella?”
The girls coo in response, squirming happily in their fresh diapers.
Before I can push back with why I think the whole cause is pointless and unsanitary, Bishop tears into the house from outside.Damn. I thought we’d have him and Grant’s kids occupied with chalk on the patio for a little while longer.
“Dad! Dad! Can we play with the bikes now?”
“Yo, Bishop!” Jordie intercepts my son, offering him a high five. “What do you think, man? You wanna save the planet?”
“Yeah!”
I watch as my son smacks Jordie’s open hand in a high five that could be heard around the world.
“Jesus,” Jordie mutters with a wince, flexing his bright red hand.
Atta boy.
As Bishop takes a deep breath, I sit back in my chair, kicking my legs out. Jordie has no idea what’s about to hit him.
“Actually, I think a lot about saving the trees—like the big onesandthe little ones. All the flowers too. It’s super, super important. Oh, and the ozone too because the ozone is up in the sky and it keeps us from burning up by, um, by blocking the sun and stuff. It’s part of theatmospear, but like layered kinda how a big cake is, you know?”
“Uh, yeah man. Totally.”
I bite back a laugh, incredibly proud of my son and so damn amused at the same time. Jordie just opened Pandora’s box, and now he’s gotta live with the consequences.
“And, and ...” Bishop pulls in a breath. “I use less water by taking showers because when I was little I took baths, but then I learned that the baths were, um, baths were wasteful, so Mom and Dad let me take showers now and ...”
