Page 52 of Tempted By a Highland Beast
Rowena closed her eyes, thinking of the way he’d moved through the village during the crisis, calm and competent and utterly focused on helping his people. The way he’d carried that feverish child with such careful gentleness. The way he’d looked at her afterward, not with calculation or self-interest, but with something that might have been admiration.
That wasn’t the behavior of a man who saw her as a commodity.
She straightened her shoulders and smoothed her skirts. She’d made a mistake and it was time to correct that error, to be brave enough to take the leap he was offering.
It was time to give him her answer. But first, she had to make sure it was the right thing to do, and there was only one person she could have that conversation with.
She found Lilias in the solar, bent over a piece of embroidery with focused concentration. The girl looked up at Rowena’s entrance, her face brightening with the uncomplicated pleasure that never failed to warm something in Rowena’s chest.
“There ye are,” Lilias said, setting aside her needlework. “I was beginning tae think ye’d decided tae take yer morning meal on the battlements.”
“Something like that,” Rowena replied, managing a smile that felt only slightly forced. “Would ye care fer a walk? The morning’s grown fine, and I find meself restless.”
Lilias’s sharp eyes caught the tension Rowena was trying to hide, but she merely nodded and reached for her cloak. “Of course. The outer yard, perhaps? Away from all the bustle?”
Rowena felt a rush of gratitude for the girl’s intuition. “Aye, that sounds perfect.”
They made their way through the castle in comfortable silence, past servants preparing for the day’s tasks and guards changing shifts. The outer yard was quieter than the main courtyard, bordered by the kitchen gardens and the practice yards, but far enough from both to offer the privacy Rowena craved.
The winter air was crisp against her cheeks as they began to walk, their footsteps crunching softly on the frost-brittle grass. For several minutes, neither spoke, content to move in the kind of easy companionship that had developed between them over the past week.
“Ye look troubled,” Lilias said finally, her voice gentle but concerned. “Is everything well with ye and Constantine?”
Rowena glanced at the younger woman, struck once again by her perceptiveness. Lilias might be only seventeen, but she had an emotional intelligence that belied her years—perhaps a result of growing up in a household where reading the moods of powerful men could mean the difference between safety and danger.
“Well enough,” Rowena said carefully. “We’ve... reached an understanding.”
“But that’s good news, isn’t it?” Lilias’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Ye’ve agreed tae marry him?”
“Aye, I think so, although I havenae yet told him.” The word came out heavier than Rowena had intended, weighted with all the complicated emotions she was struggling to sort through.
Lilias stopped walking, turning to face Rowena with searching eyes. “Then why dae ye look like ye’re attending a funeral instead of planning a wedding?”
The question, asked with such genuine concern, cracked something open in Rowena’s chest. She’d always been private with her thoughts, trained from childhood to keep her own counsel and present a composed face to the world.
But something about Lilias’s earnest warmth, her complete lack of judgment, made the words spill out before Rowena could stop them.
“Because I dinnae ken what I’m daeing,” she admitted, the confession feeling like a relief and a betrayal all at once. “Because everything about this terrifies me, and I’m nae used tae being terrified.”
Lilias’s expression softened with understanding. “Come,” she said, linking their arms. “Let’s keep walking, and ye can tell me what’s really troubling ye.”
They resumed their slow circuit of the yard, and bit by bit, Rowena found herself opening up in ways she never had before. She told Lilias about her uncle—not just that he was pursuing her, but the full extent of his ambition and cruelty. She explained about the power vacuum her father’s death had created, how Alpin had moved swiftly to consolidate control while the clan was still reeling from their loss.
“He told everyone I was grief-stricken, that I needed time tae mourn before taking on me responsibilities,” Rowena said, her voice bitter with remembered anger. “But what he really wanted was time tae establish himself as the clan’s protector, tae make himself indispensable so that when he finally announced our betrothal, it would seem like the natural solution.”
Lilias made a sound of disgust. “And the clan believed him?”
“Some did. Others were suspicious, but they had nay proof of his true intentions, and they were dealing with their own grief and uncertainty. It’s easy tae be grateful when someone steps forward tae shoulder the burden, even if their motives aren’t pure.”
“Until he overplayed his hand,” Lilias said quietly.
“Aye.” Rowena’s jaw tightened at the memory. “When he came tae me chambers and announced we’d be wed immediately, that the clan needed the stability of leadership... I knew I was out of time. If I’d stayed even one more day, I would have been trapped.”
They walked in silence for a moment, the weight of Rowena’s revelation settling between them. When Lilias spoke again, her voice was carefully measured.
“And now ye’re facing another marriage, another man making decisions about yer future. I can see why that would be frightening.”
Rowena felt a surge of gratitude for the girl’s understanding. “It is different with Constantine,” she said slowly, working through her own thoughts as she spoke. “He’s given me choice, time, respect. He’s naething like Alpin. But still…”
