Page 44 of Devour
I open one of the vanity drawers and find rows of hair ties. Smiling like I just found a pot of gold, I pick one up and begin twisting my hair into a quick ponytail.
Then I pause. I don’t need to rush anymore. I’m not in “mum mode” or juggling shifts. But now that I’m married to Luca, I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do. Do I still have my job? Am I allowed to go back?
Sighing, I let my hair down again and returned to the band. At least there’s one thing I know I can do: spend time with my son. That alone feels like a luxury I couldn’t afford before. The thought makes me smile as I head to see him.
He’s doing better than yesterday. His voice doesn’t sound as weak, and the nurse tells me his immune system is responding well to the bone marrow transplant with no signs of infection.
The news lifts my spirits as I make my way downstairs. The warm, mouthwatering smell of bacon hits me first.
“Good morning, Ariel. How was your night?” Griselda asks, a knowing glint in her eye.
“It was fine,” I replied as I sat at the counter.
She piles a plate of toast, bacon, and scrambled eggs in front of me. The scent makes my mouth water. “Griselda, I’m not going to be able to fit through the door if you keep feeding me like this,” I tease.
“You could do with a little more meat on you, my dear. The Falcone men are quite ravenous; you'll need your strength, so he doesn’t wear you down,” she says with a wink.
I feel my face flushed at her words.
“You don’t have to be shy with me,” she adds casually. “Orange juice or milk?”
“Orange juice,” I answered quickly. Then, trying to sound offhand, I ask, “So… does Luca normally leave this late for work?”
She hands me the glass before replying, “Not really. In fact, I was quite surprised. He waited for breakfast and even let me reel him into a conversation.”
She gives me a small smile.
“Being married is good for him. You’re good for him.”
I wish she was right.
“So… what am I supposed to do while he’s gone?”
“Whatever you want around the house. If you need anything, just let me know, I can have someone run out and get it for you. Also, all your things were brought in this morning.
They’re in the storage room for now. We can go through them together and organize everything. I’ll have Noah’s toys sanitized too, so they’re ready when he’s strong enough to play.”
We spent the whole day organizing my things. By the time night fell, Luca still hadn’t come home. I went to bed alone.
In the middle of the night, I felt strong arms wrap around me, pulling me close. But when I woke up the next morning, he was gone again.
The only evidence that he’d been there at all was the rough indentation in the sheets beside me. It went on like that for days. Silent arrivals. Quiet exits. And I don't know what to make of it.
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
Luca
Iwatched her sleep again last night. It’s pathetic—the way I slip into our bed like a thief in the dark, holding her like she’s mine, when I’m too much of a coward to face her in the light.
Every morning, I leave before she wakes. Every night, I crawl in after she’s already asleep. Because I don’t know how to be the man she deserves.
Not when I’ve already shattered the version of me, she once believed in. Or maybe this has always been who I am, and I just hadn’t grown into it yet when we first met.
I don’t know how to be gentle. The mob is all I’ve ever known, and it’s carved me into something jagged and hard. I sink deeper into the leather couch, the glass of whiskey balanced on my thigh, my fingers curled around it like it’s the only thing keeping me grounded.
I’d called Dominic and Axel over to help me clear my head while we planned our next move. I swirl the glass absently, the ice clinking a sharp, lonely sound before I down it in one long pull.
“Chokehold” by sleep token plays softly from beyond the club’s dance floor below.
