Page 4 of No Mistakes
My feet move,to a destination of God knows where, but I don’t stop. I just need to go anywhere that isn’t near him.
My vision blurs as my breathing comes fast and uneven, like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. The weight of everything, the pain, the sheer agony of the past two weeks bares down on me. It’s all too much.
A hand grabs my wrist, and I go to shake whoever it is off. “Eva-” I try ripping my hand free before Mandy manages to get a grip on me, but she’s faster than I am right now.
I feel my body betraying me, breaking down under all the emotions as I run away from everything.
“Eva,stop!” Mandy shouts, but I don’t listen, the need to be as far away as possible pushing me forward. She runs in front of me, gripping my shoulders, forcing me still. I suck in a sharp breath, trying to blink back the tears that are forming in my eyes, cursing at myself for being vulnerable. “Let go of me, Mandy.Please.”
“No.” Her voice is firm, but a touch of softness lies behind it. “Not until you tell me where the hell you’re running to.”
A cold breeze brushes against my skin, causing me to shiver. I realise we're no longer in the house but outside near the treeline, and I look around, watching as the trees rustle against the wind.
I press my lips together, my throat closing up as I listen to the wind, remembering the day Axel picked me up from this very spot, whisking me away to the forest.
“Eva,” Mandy says again, softer this time, and that’s when my damn walls collapse. A choked sob escapes me, and before I can stop it, my shoulders shake just as my legs threaten to give out beneath me. Mandy reaches out, catching me before I hit the ground. “Hey,” She murmurs whilst pulling me close to her. “Breathe, okay? Just breathe.”
I do my best, but every time I try, it’s like every breath is getting caught in my throat, unable to get out.
He was dead. And I mourned him, Ibrokebecause of him, and now he’s here, just standing inside like he didn’t just shatter my whole world.
A fresh wave of anger pushes through the lump in my throat, and I shove myself out of Mandy’s arms, wiping the tears away from my eyes. “He let me think he was dead; he lied tobothof us,” I spit. “He let me-”Fuck. I can’t even believe this is really happening right now. This is something that you see in movies; it’s not meant to happen in real life. I glance towards Mandy to see a flicker of something on her face. The concern was gone, and now it was replaced with something else. She opens her mouth to say something, but I watch as she tries to bury whatever she’s feeling.
Nausea grows inside of me at the thought of her hiding something.
No. She wouldn’t. Would she?
“Mandy….” I start, trying to press her into telling me, but she looks away. “Eva,” she mutters, rubbing a hand over her face. “You need to tell me what you need, because I’m not letting you spiral alone,” she says, avoiding my questioning completely.
A part of me wants to press her on it, to demand to know why she didn’t answer me in the living room when I asked her if she knew. But my emotions are unravelling the longer I stay here, and I don’t have the strength to hold on to them and fight her at the same time.
I shake my head, deciding to let it go, but only for now. “I just- I can’t be here right now, Mandy. Not with him here.”
Her lips press together, like she wants to argue to stay, but instead, she sighs. “Fine,” She says after a few seconds. “Let’s go then.” She grabs my hand, pulling me towards an SUV sitting on the driveway. “Gowhereexactly?” I ask.
She throws me a glance before shrugging her shoulders, “Wherever you want.”
I hesitate slightly, still unsure of how to take her earlier reaction, my mind screaming at me not to trust her, but my heart tells me otherwise.
Where do I want to go? My mind is a mess, and my emotions are sky high, making it hard to think straight. But one thing is certain: I can’t be anywhere near Axel right now. I need to be far away from him.
“Okay,” I sigh, accepting defeat. She wraps an arm around me, securing me next to her as she guides me away from the house and into the car.
I climb into the warmth of the SUV, and a part of me wants to ask who it belongs to, but I don’t think I’m ready for that answer. Mandy climbs into the driver's seat next to me. The SUV hums to life, and hot air flows through the vents directly onto my face, causing my body to shiver. I didn’t realise how cold I was until now. I press my forehead against the cool window, watching the trees blur into one while Mandy drives us to an unknown destination. Mandy doesn’t speak at first. She just drives, one hand loose on the wheel, the other tapping restlessly against herthigh as if she’s in a deep thought. I should be grateful for the silence, but it only makes my thoughts louder.
I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping it will silence them, but nothing happens. My chest still aches, the same unbearable pressure that’s been there since I saw Axel standing there, alive. And that the brothers weren’t the only ones who knew.
The possible betrayal claws inside of me, and I try to swallow it down, but it’s impossible. There is only one way to find out if she truly knew if he was alive before today.
I force a breath through my nose, gathering the courage. “How long have you known? I ask bluntly. The tapping suddenly stops as she grips the steering wheel. “Eva-”
I turn my head, just enough to look at her. “How. Long?”
She exhales, taking a second to answer, “A few days.”
I blink, unsure if I heard her correctly. “A fewdays?” I ask, needing confirmation. Mandy clenches her jaw. “Yeah… a few days.”
Something inside of me snaps. “And what, you just decided I didn’t deserve to know?” I question in disbelief. She shakes her head, glancing at me quickly before returning her eyes to the road. “It wasn’t like that.”
