Page 29 of No Mistakes
His cheek twitching, like he’s physically holding something back.
“I didn’t do it to hurt you, I did it to fucking protect you.”
He takes a step forward, standing so the tip of the knife is pressing against his chest, his hands slightly raised like he’s not sure whether to get close or back off.
“Because if they thought I was dead, they wouldn’t look for you. They were watching you Eva. Tracking your movements. Every time you stepped outside, I felt like I was gambling with your life. I thought if I disappeared. If I became a ghost… They’d stop trying to use you to get to me.”
His Adam's apple bobs with a swallow. I can tell he’s trying to keep himself together, but I can also see that he’s failing beautifully.
“Marco wasn’t just playing games anymore. He was planning a war. And you… You were the best fucking weapon in his arsenal. He wanted to hurt me. Humiliate me. Own me. And the fastest way to do that was through you. I don’t know how he knew, but he did.”
He shakes his head, like he hates even saying all of this, but he doesn’t stop.
“You didn’t even know it. That’s the part that killed me the most. You were walking around blind, Eva. You know the job you were sent on, to follow Carter? That was Marco.”
His voice catches, just for a second, but that was all I needed to know that his walls are cracking.
“So yeah. I died. I staged it. Burned everything down to the bones. Because I thought… if they believed I was gone, they’d have no reason to keep watching you, and they’ll go back to their games.”
He looks up to the sky, and I follow his gaze to see the sky filled with stars, but it's short-lived when he continues, “I stayed gone because I didn’t knowhowto come back, Eva. Not without dragging you back into the fire with me. Not without reminding you of everything I cost you.”
He takes another step toward me, slower this time, as his eyes lock on mine.
“But watching you walk away from me, not just once… but twice in one day, like I was a fucking stranger?” His voice lowers, and I hear the pain hiding behind his words. “That was the real death.”
He laughs bitterly, but there’s no humour in it. Only raw feelings.
“You wanna hate me? Please do. I deserve it. I made you think I was dead. I let you mourn me. I tore your world apart and left you in the wreckage. But I swear on everything I’ve got left… I never did it to hurt you.”
We stand in silence, staring at each other under the stars, and I have no fucking clue what I should say. I can’t forgive him. He needs to earn my forgiveness, and he can’t do that with just words.
“I did it because losing you for real? Watching someone worse get their hands on you? That would’ve buried me, Buttercup.”
CHAPTER 14
MANDY
“So,”I start, crossing my arms as I glance sideways at him. “Didn’t think you’d actually show up tonight. Thought you’d vanish into the shadows like a moody Batman knockoff.”
Ant lifts a brow, tilting his head like he’s unimpressed.
“Oh, don’t give me that look,” I mutter. “Youaredramatic. You’ve got this whole ‘silent brooding’ thing down to an art form. I’m surprised you didn’t rappel from the roof.”
He pulls out his phone, typing something quickly. “You tricked her into coming.”
“Istrategicallymisled her.” I correct with a grin. “Big difference. And don’t act like you didn’t agree to it.”
He shrugs in response, but I see the faint smile that creeps on his face. He is secretly impressed. “You’re such a pain in the ass,” I say, walking a few paces ahead before turning back to face him. “But… thanks, I appreciate you coming to meet us. Even if it does end in my own death sentence.”
He doesn’t respond, just stands there, hands in his pockets, looking like he’s thinking of a million things and saying none of them.
I sigh, knowing I’m not going to get anything out of him. “Okay, broody boy. Time for the real reason I dragged you away.”
I reach into my coat and pull out the small silver USB drive. It feels heavier than it should. Like whatever is on it is trying to burn its way through my skin.
“Remember how I said I needed your help?” I hold up the drive between two fingers. “A guy from our work has up and left, but he didn’t just vanish. He leftthis.”
Ant’s attention doesn’t waver. He watches me like he’s already dissecting every word.
