Page 97 of Tangled Hearts
He closes his eyes, pulling me in against him. I slump against his body, letting my fingers toy with his collarbone through his t-shirt. “If it means that much to you, we can just tell him.”
“Fuck.” Nic shakes his head. “No. We’re so close. And… God, doll. As much as I joke about kidnapping you if things go sideways, I think it would actually destroy me if Holden hated me.”
He definitely has that effect on people. You can’t help but want to be part of his world. You can’t help but want him to center his attention on you. He’s one of my favorite people for a reason. He’s kind and selfless and fiercely protective. I wouldn’t blame Nic at all if he didn’t want me over Holden. I’d understand if he didn’t want to take the risk. I clear my throat, pain trying to work its way through my heart.
“If you want to stop, we can.” He freezes under me, and I force myself to continue. “Family is important. No one knows that better than me.” I swallow hard, trying to choke down my feelings. “If you want to end things, we can. We’ll never tell him. Then you don’t have to worry about losing him. We can just… be friends.” I can totally do that. I can be just friends with Nic. If it means that he gets to have Holden and Julian and the kids. If it means that he doesn’t have to lose his new family.
Nic tangles his hand in my hair, then uses his grip to tilt my head back until I have no choice but to meet his eyes. It hurts a tiny bit, but more than anything, it grounds me. His hazel eyes search my face. “If you really think for a single second that I’d give you up, you’ve lost your goddamn mind, Eli.”
My breath catches, and I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off with a shake of his head. “We could be friends?” he asks, voice low and raw, aching almost. I try to nod, but he tightens his grip. “I wouldn’t survive being your friend, doll. Not with how much I feel for you. Not a fucking chance.”
I’m stunned into silence, which is probably good considering I don’t want to say anything stupid. “I’ll take whatever comes, Eli. And if Holden hates me, then he hates me. Unless that changes things for you, of course.”
I shake my head vehemently. “No. I—no. It doesn’t change anything for me.”
“I keep telling you, doll, you’re mine. And I’m yours. The only way you’re losing me is ifyouwalk away.”
His words hit me like a punch, and I nod. “I know.” I’m even starting to believe it when he says that.
“Good.” He softens his grip, leaning down to brush his lips over mine. “I know it’s hard, baby, but I need you totrynot to offer yourself up like some sacrifice when I tell you how I feel, okay? I was just… freaking out a bit, and I needed to talk about it. That’s all.”
My eyes burn with the threat of incoming tears. “Okay,” I choke out, my heart hurting over the thought of disappointing him.
“Oh, baby. Don’t cry,” he whispers, holding me tighter.
“I don’t want to upset you,” I whisper, my throat trying to close up. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.” My chest hitches as I try to shove down the tears.
“God, you didn’t make me mad at all. I just—” His shaky breath fans across my temple. “I’m worried about Holden, yes. I’m actually kind of terrified. But I still have faith that it will be okay. Mostly. And even if he’s not okay with it, I’m not going anywhere. What about you?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I echo. “I promise.”
He hums. “I promise too. Let me take you to bed, okay? I just—I want you all wrapped up with me.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll let Kas out and meet you in there?”
“Sure, baby.” He presses a kiss to my head, then buries his face in my hair and breathes in deeply.
When I’ve gotten Kassie taken care of and everything shut down for the night, I make my way into Nic’s room. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, and his eyes light up when I walk in. Wordlessly, I climb in beside him, and he lies down, pulling the blankets up around us. As soon as he gets us settled, I scoot closer to him and plaster my body to his. His hand lands on my back between my shoulder blades, and he holds me close to him.
I really hope things work out. I really hope Holden is accepting and doesn’t throw a fit. At this point, I’m not even above bringing in The Dads to handle things if I have to.
I think I’d do just about anything for Nic.
Chapter 31
Nic
When I open my eyes, Eli’s side of the bed is cold, and I’m alone. Not exactly my favorite way to wake up, I won’t lie. I toss the blankets off myself and climb out of bed in search of Eli. It doesn’t take me long to find him, and when I do, it takes even less time to realize something is wrong.
He’s pacing a hole in the living room floor, and even when I step fully into the room, he doesn’t seem to notice me. “Eli?” Still no acknowledgment. Just pacing. “Hey, baby?” I try again, a little louder.
Eli runs a hand through his hair, and judging by the state of it, it’s not the first time. He mumbles something under his breath, pausing to inhale deeply, and then he spots me. “Oh. Hi.”Andback to pacing he goes.
“Hi, doll. What’s going on?”
He shakes his head. “Just freaking out about tonight.”
I frown. “Why are you freaking out about tonight?”
