Page 6 of Tangled Hearts
I tiptoe down the hall like a child and push their door open. Beck looks up, alerted by the creak, and waves me in. I pad across the floor toward their bed while Kassie lies down in the dog bed they still keep for her in their room. At this rate, the only thing I’m missing is a blanket trailing along the floor behind me. I almost want to laugh at myself, but there’s nothing wrong with needing and wanting comfort from the people who love you, so instead, I climb up the end of the bed and crawl between the two of them. The first time I did this, I was scared out of my damn mind—shaking and nauseous—that I was going to be turned away. Those fears are long gone.
Beck wordlessly adjusts the blanket, tucking it around my face with a grin, and presses a kiss to my forehead. Roman shifts, wrapping hisarm around my stomach with a whispered, “Love you, kiddo,” and then he’s out like a light.
This is the safest place in the world. I snuggle deeper into the bed and close my eyes, trying to get my body to relax, but it’s basically no use. My thoughts are too loud.
“Hey, Dad?”
Beck’s the only one awake, so he hums. “Yeah?”
“Do you think this means Uncle Holden won’t want us anymore?” What I really mean isme.Does he think Uncle Holden won’t wantmeanymore?
Beck’s quiet for a second, and then he’s rolling to his side and bracing above me. There’s a sort of soft compassion on his face. Compassion I’ve been the lucky recipient of since he set me down and cleaned the blood off my bruised and battered face the day I lost one family and became a part of this one. “No, Eli. This doesn’t mean that at all. Our hearts have such great capacity for growth and for love.”
“I know,” I whisper, shame burning my stomach. I knew it was stupid to be worried about it.
“Your fears and feelings are valid.” I almost giggle. Always with the validation. I love it, but sometimes he takes the stuff we learned in family therapy a little more seriously than I did. “But,” he continues, booping me on the nose. This time I do laugh. “We don’t feed those fears, yes? You know Holden loves us. Does loving the kids at Safe Haven make you love Uncle Holden less?”
I shake my head. “Of course not.”
He smiles at me. “Exactly. Holden’s heart is big enough to love both youandhis brother,” he says, mirroring my actual worries and proving how well he knows me. “Besides, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re pretty irreplaceable. I’d like to see someone try. They’d fail miserably.”
“Ugh. You’re mydad,though. You have to say that.” Except, I had a dad who would haveneversaid that. Who told me to get out and leave and never come back. A dad who didn’t even come close to loving me as much as Beck and Roman do. “I know,” I whisper, giving him a slight nod. “Thank you for talking me down.”
“Anytime.” He lies back down and lets out a little happy sigh.
“And thanks for letting me sleep in bed with you guys,” I add, almost as an afterthought.
“Anytime,” he repeats. “My world is never more right than when I have you and Roman with me.”
That makes me feel like I’m floating. It always does. I’m so fucking lucky to have them.
Chapter 3
Nic
The man eyes me warily. “I’m Holden Foster.”
My heart takes off at a gallop. “I’m Nic.” I already said that. Shaking out my hands, I try for a smile. “I found out about you from an ancestry website. I hope you don’t mind me showing up. I couldn’t find any contact information. Or anything that seemed like it was you on social media. I wasn’t sure the best way to go about it, but I—”Stop talking, Nic.“—I just wanted the chance to maybe get to know you. My mom just died, and then my fiancé—well, my ex, actually… No, you don’t need to know that.” Oh myGod.Shut up. “Anyway, I can leave if you want.”
While I was talking, Holden’s jaw kept dropping lower and lower, and now he’s just gaping at me—green eyes wide and jaw practically in hell. I wish the porch would open up and take me with it. There’s a beat of silence, and I bite the inside of my cheek. Hard. Anything to shut up my rambling.
Holden leans against the doorframe, almost like his legs won’t support him anymore. Great, I’ve spent forty seconds around my brother, and I’ve already fucked him up.
To my surprise, he giggles. It’s a little high-pitched and shaky, and then he does it again, and before I can process, he’s full-on belly laughing, and then he almost sobs. Oh god. I fucking broke him. Holy shit.
I just stand there. I’m not sure what I should even do. Turning tail and taking my ass back home seems like the best idea.
“I’m sorry,” he gasps between his giggling cries. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I’m just… What the actual fuck is my life right now?” Well, that doesn’t sound good. “Come in, please. I’m so sorry.”
He swipes at his eyes, then steps back, gesturing for me to walk into the house.
“You’ll have to excuse the mess. It’s a little chaotic around here.” I take a quick look around the living room, but all I see is love. Toys and blankets and a plate with cookies on it. Shoes piled up along the wall. Jackets hanging haphazardly on hooks and backpacks lined up under them with water bottles tucked into the side pouches and lunchboxes strewn across the floor. Warmth fills my entire body as I take it all in. “Like I said, it’s a mess. I promise we clean daily. I just haven’t gotten to it yet, and I—”
“I love it. It looks happy. Lived in,” I say, cutting off his embarrassed ramble.
He stops with his apologies, and I follow him to the couch, standing awkwardly while he sits down. He gestures to the seat on the other end and I take it. Everything feels so real now. I can’t believe I’m actually in my brother’s living room.
For a few moments, he just watches me. I can tell the wheels in his mind are turning. His eyes have this sort of appraising look in them,like he’s trying to feel me out. When he speaks, I’m expecting it to be questions. Maybe how I found him or why I’m here or what I want from him. What I get instead is a softly spoken, “I’m so sorry about your mom. That must have been so hard.”
