Page 8 of Tangled Hearts
He hums, running a hand through his unruly dark waves. “Well, shit. Okay, wait. Family.” A knot forms in my stomach, but I nod anyway, trying to encourage him to continue. “So, I’m married. Again, obviously. I promise I’m not usually this awkward.” The self-deprecating grin on his face has the ball stuck in my stomach easing a bit. “I have a nephew. Eli. He’s twenty.”
“Oh? So, do we have more siblings?” I ask, interrupting him.
He shakes his head. “No. Not in the way you’re probably thinking. Although.” He raises his shoulder in a shrug. “Possibly, I guess. I didn’t know about you, so at this point, I can’t rule out more, you know? But no, his parents are my best friends. Roman and Beck.” His face pales. “Oh shit, I have to call Ro. He’s gonna freak out.”
Well, that doesn’t sound good. “In a bad way?” I can’t help but ask the question.
He giggles. “No. He’s going to be excited.” Relief washes over me. “But that can wait until later.”
He lapses into silence and I do the same. This is so fucking awkward. I think I just assumed we’d hit it off easily and that it would feel like breathing. Like sitting down beside an eight-year-old Silas and having a new friend. Like meeting and falling head over heels in love with Leo. I’m starting to think that was unrealistic.
Holden taps his thighs. “Well, what are you looking for?”
I hesitate. “Like money? Is that what you’re asking?”
“Uh, no. Like, do you want a relationship with me?”
So fucking much. My throat is suddenly too tight to speak, so I nod instead.
Another bright smile graces Holden’s face. “Okay, great. Me too.”
My drive back to the hotel feels even quieter than the drive to Holden’s did. It probably doesn’t help anything that I have the radio turned off.
After Julian got back and I met him, Holden formally introduced me to the kids and invited me to stay for dinner. He didn’t tell them who I was to him, blood-wise, not that I really care. No, I was just damn happy to be introduced at all.
Wren, though, she’s a smart cookie. I noticed her wheels turning all through dinner. If she hasn’t figured it out already, I can already bet she’ll have questions for Holden and Julian by the end of the night.
Julian was nice. Not what I expected at all. I had few preconceived ideas of what my brother would be like anyway, but when he talkedabout his husband, I didn’t picture a giant of a man who towers over my five-foot-eleven frame. I also didn’t expect Holden to be so… pint-sized. I chuckle to myself as I think about how twelve-year-old Wren is only a head shorter than him. Those genes must have come from Julian.
My stomach feels light and airy. That went way better than I thought it would. Way better than I ever could have imagined. Holden and I agreed to take things slow and get to know one another, but then he invited me back for dinner tomorrow night.
He also mentioned the possibility of his friends coming with their son, Eli. It’s clear just from listening to Holden talk about him that he’s much more than just his nephew in name. He loves him. As much as he loves his own children. It’s sweet, and even though my life has been absolute shit for the last few months, I’m happy as hell that my brother has been spared a similar fate.
When I pull into the hotel and get back to my room, I drop onto the bed. My cheeks ache from how hard I’ve been smiling. Dinner went well, and I really enjoyed spending time with everyone. Just like the state of their home suggests, Holden and Julian bring a warm atmosphere to everything they do.
I climb into bed and grab my phone to call Silas so I can tell him about my day.
A lead weight drops inside me, and my throat damn near closes up in an instant. Fuck me.
That’s what people don’t tell you about grief. It creeps up on you. You go about your day thinking things are fine, and then you forget. You try to dial a number that doesn’t belong to anyone you know, and the weight of it all crushes you again.
I’m fully aware that Silas isn’t dead, but he may as well be. He was the person I called when I realized I was in love with Leo. The firstperson who knew about Mom’s diagnosis. The first person I called with news—good or bad. He was my number one. Hell, he helped me plan my fucking proposal to Leo.
Funny how that works.
I scrub a hand down my face, surprised to find tears there. It seems those can also sneak up on you.
I bite my lower lip, my chest nearly bursting with all the news I have to share. I pull up my text thread with Si, staring at his last message to me.
Si
I’m so fucking sorry, Nic. It wasn’t a purposeful thing. You know I’d never intentionally hurt you. I just couldn’t help it, man.
The ache of his betrayal weighs my stomach down, but I click on the text box anyway, my eyes burning.
Me
I didn’t tell you, or Leo, or anyone really, but I have a brother. His name is Holden. That’s where I went when I left. I met him today, Si. It was completely different than I expected, but so fucking nice. I really hope we can build a relationship. I need someone in my corner, since the last people I had in my corner broke my fucking heart. This is stupid. I don’t know why I’m even tellingyou any of this.
