Page 50 of Tangled Hearts
I shake my head, my heart beating so fast I’m a little worried about my health. Nic lets out a slow breath. “Good, in bed.Mine.”
My brain says fuck him, but my body says okay, and I crawl into his bed. Nic stands at the edge, his eyes wild as he stares at me. He drags a hand over his face. God, I wish I knew what he was thinking.
Nic sits down, resting his hands on his thighs. There’s a slight tremor in them. He’s shaking? I dart my eyes to his face and he’s staring at the wall, his expression pained, his brows pulled together. He closeshis eyes, but opens them again a second later, looking down at me. “I’m afraid.”
I want to ask of what, but I’m also afraid, so I don’t.
The silence is tense. But after a few seconds, Nic lies down, turning on his side to face me. We’re a few inches apart, but it feels like miles. I don’t know how to close the gap without begging. I don’t know how to tell him I need comfort. I don’t know how to make him give me what I want without feeling like I’m taking something that’s not for me.
Nic brings a hand up. Tentative and slow. An offering. I place my palm against his, surprised by the breath he lets out at the touch, and he slides his fingers through mine. “Eli,” he whispers, his eyes searching my face.
A shudder runs through my body.
Almost as quickly as he tangled his fingers through mine, he takes them away, pulling his hand from mine. I’m about to protest when he presses the pad of his thumb to my chin. I suck in a sharp breath. He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, his gaze is soft.
“Close your eyes,” he whispers. I don’t want to. I want to look at him, but I do what he’s asked anyway. My eyes fall shut, and I let out a deep, calming breath. His thumb touches my cheekbones, my eyebrow, and then the corner of my eye. I’m a little confused. What exactly is he doing? “Jesus, I love your eyelashes.”
My heart thumps hard.
“And this little freckle.” A gentle touch against the freckle under my eye. “Eli,” he says again, and something in his voice has my eyes flying open. I’m not at all prepared for how he’s looking at me—eyes wide, roaming my face, a furrow in his brows, like he’s confused by what he’s seeing. His eyes lock on mine, and I can barely breathe.
“Please,” he whispers. I have no idea what he wants, but I’m pretty sure I’ll give him anything. He searches my face, his eyes scanning each section in what seems like slow motion. “Can I hold you?”
Yes. God, yes. Please. Please please please.
I nod frantically, Nic exhales quickly, and then I’m being hauled away from my spot and manhandled into his arms. I hide my face in his throat, breathing in the scent of his skin. God, he smells so fucking good. I was supposed to be annoyed by that, I think, but I’m not. Not anymore. Was I ever, really?
Nic’s hand slides under the back of my shirt in a rush, like he can’t wait. Like he needs it as much as I do. Needsme.It rides up in the front, and my bare stomach presses against his. I shiver, trying to squirm closer. He helps me, pulling me in until my leg is pressed between his and there’s not a spare inch of space between us. He’s so warm. Safe.Mine, my mind chants. But he’s not mine. He can’t be.
I settle into the warmth as his fingers explore my back the way they have every night for the last couple of nights. Something feels different this time, though. He feels desperate, almost. His movements are frantic and a little jerky. Not controlled like usual. He makes a sound low in his throat.
My stomach does a little flip, and my dick twitches. Oh shit. I try to shift away, try to keep him from feeling it, but there’s nowhere for me to go.
His hand slides up my back, fingers tangling in my hair at the nape of my neck. He gives it a little tug, and I gasp, my cock swelling further. I try again to pull away, but I can’t.
Nic shifts, and my groin settles against his. He’s… holy fuck. He’s hard too. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. I need to pull away. “Stop, Eli.”
I go still immediately, my body listening, but my mind rebelling. “But, I—I’m sorry. It’s just… I didn’t mean to.” God, this is so embarrassing. I should have stayed in my room.
“Shhh. It’s okay.” Nic’s hand pauses, his body going tense. “Do you want me to let you go?”
“No,” I blurt out. “Please, no. I’m sorry.”
He tugs my hair again, which helps exactlynothing.“Stop apologizing, doll. It’s normal, okay? We’re close. It’s a normal body reaction. It doesn’t mean anything.”
My heart sinks. What if I want it to mean something, though? Then what? “Okay,” I whisper. “Can I stay in here with you tonight?”
Nic laughs. “Funny that you thought I was gonna let you go anywhere else.”
My heart skips a beat, but something about it makes me feel a little pleased. My lips curve into a smile. “Thank you.”
“God, please don’t thank me. I’m not some hero. If anything, I’m probably the villain.”
What does that mean? “Why would you say that?” I whisper into his throat, half-terrified that he’s going to pull away.
He’s quiet for so long that I’m sure he’s not going to say anything. Maybe he didn’t even hear me. That would be okay, I guess, as long as he doesn’t let go of me. Then he takes a deep breath and runs his hand down my back, pausing at the small of it to pull me impossibly closer.
He’s still hard, his dick pressing against my body. I’m mostly trying to ignore it. Like he said, it doesn’t mean anything.
