Page 14 of Tangled Hearts
Eli sinks his teeth into his bottom lip and shakes his head, letting his hand fall from mine as he sits back down. “I’m sorry for being an ass.”
I sit down in my seat and smile. “You’re fine. I mean, I basically threw you on the ground seconds after meeting you.”
“Whatwereyou doing there anyway? Who just stands in the doorway like that?” This time the question is laced with humor.
“Someone who is incredibly nervous and trying to make a good impression because he wants a family to belong to again.”
Well, that was more than I think I meant to say. Eli and I both go still, the weight of my words hanging around us. “Oh.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself, truthfully. “Yeah.” I chuckle nervously, my eyes falling to my plate. “Anyway, I—”
“I know how you feel,” Eli says quietly, interrupting me. I look back up at him to find him staring at me with a soft expression. “When I first met everyone. My Dads. Hold and Julian. I just wanted to belong. I had a family. But uh… well, that didn’t work out so well for me, and um—well, then I found this one and…” He sighs. “I know how you feel,” he repeats, dropping his eyes again and picking up his fork.
I watch him in silence for a second. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Telling me that.” Eli’s eyes find mine, and we share a moment of silent understanding. We don’t know each other, not in any real way, but that pain? That’s a shared pain. It’s common ground, and for now, it’s enough to douse some of Eli’s frustrated fire. It also gives me a little insight into who he is and what makes him tick.
Vulnerability is a gift. One I’m not used to sharing, mostly because the people I share it with are either dead or dead to me. But right now? In this tiny pocket of time, I’ve shared mine, and he’s shared his. It’s a step. An important one. If I want to fit in this family—and God, I so fucking do—I need to do that. Share myself. No matter how terrifying it is.
The sound of footsteps catches my attention, and Holden and Julian walk back into the room. Holden eyes us warily, and Julian smiles. “All sorted out in here?”
I glance at Eli and he’s rolling his eyes, but his cheeks are bright pink. “All good. Sorry.” He looks at Holden with a grimace. “Sorry, Uncle Hold.”
Holden leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Eli’s head, making his flush turn deeper. “No worries, little bestie.”
I want that. The easy camaraderie, the closeness. An ache blooms in my chest. I just need to be patient. Keep showing up. Keep working at it. Anything worth having is worth working for. And I’ll work my ass off to carve out a place for myself in this crazy, clearly full of love family.
The rest of the dinner goes relatively smoothly. I don’t get any more death glares from Eli, and Holden and Julian engage in conversation, so I guess whatever test I needed to pass, I did. I actually don’t know if that’s what they were thinking or not, but it sure felt that way.
If thatwasthe case, it’s fine. Like I said, some things are worth fighting for.
When we’re done eating, we all head into the living room. Julian kisses Holden and leaves to go get the kids from their grandparents’ house, and Holden and Eli settle on the couch. Eli sprawls out, letting his legs dangle off the arm, and rests his head on Holden’s thigh. Something about it has me feeling strange inside. Not that I want to laymyhead on Holden’s lap. Fuck no. But still.
“Mia is thinking about changing her hair to pink,” Eli says, confusing me, but Holden laughs.
“No way. She’s had blue hair as long as I’ve known her.”
“Who’s Mia?” I ask, mostly because I don’t super love the feeling of being left out.
Eli turns his head, looking directly at me. “There’s a bakery in town—scones to fucking die for, by the way—and one of the owners is a woman named Mia.”
“Scones to die for, huh? I may have to check this place out.”
Holden smiles. “They’re pretty damn good, but I’m partial to the donuts.”
Eli giggles. “You’re boring, is what you are.”
That gets a smile out of me. Donuts are boring. Filed away in the ‘things I know about Eli’ folder.
Eli sits up, bracing his hands on his knees, and gives me his full attention. “This is super important, okay?” My eyes widen. “Like life or death. Friend or no friend shit, yeah?” I nod. “Do you like coffee?”
I turn my nose up. “Gross bean water? Absolutely not.”
Eli grins, glancing at Holden. “Fine. We can keep him.”
Chapter 6
