Page 109 of Tangled Hearts
“You should have told me, Eli.”
I turn around, and Nic is standing in front of me. We’re in my living room, but it feels strange. Not quite right.
“I couldn’t,” I whisper.
“You should have.” He shakes his head. “I trusted you, Eli. And you lied to me. You betrayed me like the rest.”
“I didn’t, though. I didn’t!” I walk up to him, reaching out to touchhim.
He steps away from me, so I move closer, holding a hand out. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want you. You lied to me. You betrayed me.”
“But I love you,” I whisper. “I love you. Please.”
Nic shakes his head. “You don’t love me.”
I do, though. Can’t he see that I do?
“Eli? Wake up, kiddo. You’re okay.”
I sit straight up, drenched in sweat, gasping loudly as I work to catch my breath. The sun is starting to stream through the windows. Thank God. Thank fucking God. I open my mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a sob. “I’m sorry.”
Beck pats my back. “You’re okay.”
“You’re gonna go get Nic, right?” I ask, turning to him. Roman’s awake too, his eyes locked on me—sad and exhausted. “How many nightmares did I have?”
Beck shakes his head. “A lot.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper again, shame souring my stomach.
Roman chuckles. “Hey, kid. Me too. Waiting for the day that Beck has finally had enough of my shit.”
“I can only handle one of you being worried I’m gonna leave you at a time, yeah? I would rather die than lose either of you. So both of you chill out. It’s a bad night, not a bad life. And I’d do this every night for the rest of my life for both of you.”
I know that. And so does Roman. We exchange a look, then I nod. “Okay. I’m—”
Beck raises an eyebrow at me, silencing my apology. “I’m gonna go get Nic. I can’t do a lot to fix the situation right now. But Icanfix that. Neither of you is allowed to leave this bed until I get back. I’ll be back in thirty minutes.”
He climbs out of bed and disappears into the closet to change, and when he comes out, he kisses my forehead. Roman sits up and leansinto him when Beck holds his arms open. They hug for a few minutes, just soaking in each other’s comfort. I can’t wait to do that with Nic. Hopefully. If he comes back.
God, I hope he comes back.
Chapter 35
Nic
The house feels empty without Eli. It’s suffocating. For the first time since I moved in with him, loneliness hits me square in the chest. I’m not proud of myself for running off the way I did.
But it’s too late now. I’m here. I made my choice. Was it the wrong choice? Probably. I slump against the door, letting myself slide down until my ass hits the ground.
What happened to my brother? I glance down at my blood-stained fingers. Who hurt him? Why did he react that way? And why does nobody want to tell me? I let my head thunk against the wooden door.
I’m shaking a little, I think—the adrenaline crashing in all the wrong ways. I’m not sure being alone right now is the best, but what other options do I have? I promised Eli I wouldn’t leave him. I promised him I wouldn’t abandon him, and I did.
I left him with tears pouring down his face, with his voice cracking with pleas for me to stay. I left him after he witnessed the same awful, terrible thing I did. I left him to deal with that on his own.
Not truly on his own, though. He has his dads. It’s not the consolation it should be. That knowledge does nothing to ease my guilt or make me feel like my choice was the right one.
Kassie’s approaching footsteps pull me from my thoughts. “Come on, sweet girl. Let’s go out.”
