Page 148 of Their Reckless Thief
“You’re going to destroy me,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my own heart.
She pressed a kiss to my chest, and goosebumps erupted under her warm breath. “Then we’ll destroy each other.”
Gods help me, but I wanted it.
She traced lazy patterns along my arm, her touch light but insistent, as though she were drawing me out of the shadows I’d lived in for far too long. Her touch was a quiet offering, one that demanded nothing but promised everything.
She was waiting for me to speak, her patience an anchor and a torment all at once. Her gaze tracked every hesitation, every flicker of discomfort that crossed my face, yet she didn’t push, didn’t demand the walls I’d spent centuries fortifying.
That alone terrified me.
“Celeste,” I began, her name rough and uneven on my tongue, as though even saying it was an act of surrender. “You should know… I’m not good at this.” My voice felt heavier than usual, each word dragging against my chest like a weight I couldn’t shake.
I dropped my gaze to where our hands lay intertwined. Her fingers were so much smaller than mine, yet somehow, they held all the strength I lacked. My thumb brushed over her knuckles,a nervous gesture I couldn’t quite stop. “Letting someone in has never come naturally to me. Hell, it’s never happened at all.”
Her grip tightened slightly, enough to tell me she was there, that she wasn’t leaving. That simple act nearly undid me. How could she offer herself so freely when she deserved so much more than the broken pieces of me?
“I’ve spent years convincing myself I didn’t need this. That I could live without it. Without anyone.” I shook my head. “But you make me want to try.”
The look in her eyes nearly shattered me. It wasn’t pity—gods, if it had been pity, I might’ve run. It was understanding, and that unnerved me as much as it comforted me.
“Luca, you don’t have to hide yourself from me. I know what it’s like to carry something heavy you think no one else can understand.”
Her words cut through all the layers I’d kept coiled around myself. I swallowed hard, my throat constricting as I tried to find words that wouldn’t drown me. “Seeing you go through this withdrawal is like looking in a mirror. Seeing every mistake I’ve ever made reflected back at me.”
Her brows furrowed, but she didn’t interrupt. Her silence gave me the space I didn’t know I needed.
“I know what it’s like to crave control,” I continued, the words tumbling out before I could stop them, “to need it so badly you’d do anything to hold onto it. And I know what it’s like to lose it in ways that leave you bleeding in places no one else can see.”
Her fingers tightened around mine again, pulling me back from the edge of those memories that clawed at my chest.
I brushed my thumb over the back of her hand. “But watching you fight, knowing I can’t take away your pain, knowing I can’t carry it for you? It’s brutal.”
She nestled her head into the crook of my shoulder, her warmth permeating the walls I hadn’t realized were still standing.
“I’m afraid, too,” she admitted. “Afraid of letting someone in, only to lose them. To lose myself.” Her breath hitched, and she took a moment to gather herself. “But it doesn’t feel like a risk with you. It feels inevitable.”
Her words unearthed things in me I hadn’t even known was buried. Regret. Shame. A desperate, clawing ache to be more than I was, to be more than the darkness I carried.
“There are things I regret,” I said. “Things I did because I thought they were the only way to survive. I lost control, gave in to parts of myself I’ve never forgiven.”
My voice faltered, and I gritted my teeth as I fought the instinct to retreat, to lock everything back inside. Her gaze held me steady, though, her patience like a lifeline.
“But being here with you, watching you fight for yourself, is showing me that maybe… maybe it’s worth trying to be more than what I’ve let myself become.”
She put her palm on my cheek, her touch so gentle it burned. “You’re already more than you realize, Luca. And you don’t have to be perfect. Just be here, with me. That’s all I need.”
Her honesty gutted me, cutting through the layers of shame and fear I’d carried for so long. The walls I’d spent centuries building now felt like a prison, one I couldn’t escape on my own. But with her, I could do it.
“Whatever happens, I’m here, Celeste. For as long as you’ll have me.”
She smiled at me, and in that moment, everything felt right. I realized now was a good time to share what I’d discovered. I rolled over and retrieved a folder from the drawer in my nightstand.
Celeste propped herself up on one arm when I handed it to her. “What is this?”
“It’s something I’ve been working on… I wanted to share it with you.”
I studied her face as she opened the folder and began flipping through the documents. Her eyes went wide, and tears tracked down her cheeks. “I… I don’t understand, Luca.”
