Page 43 of Aug
Six weeks of pure bliss simply wasn’t enough for me. I needed more of the things August offered. But, August was nowhere to be found. And, no one had heard from him. Not even Rome.
Get it together, Tiana.
He wasn’t real.
It wasn’t real.
Get ahold of yourself.
I ran my hands down my face. Sulking had been the only method to the madness happening inside of me, but I was tired of it. Tired of crying. Tired of mourning someone I wasn’t ready to part ways with. But, August had shown me that it didn’t matter what my heart said, his actions were the only things believable.
I tucked my tail in and stood on my feet. I was very clear when I let August know that I didn’t want a job, and I refused to chase him down. It was time to stand on those words and kiss whatever we were building goodbye.
A man that wanted to always would. It didn’t matter where he was or who he was with or what he was doing. August didn’t want to reach out to me so he hadn’t.
Move on, Tiana.
It’s time to move on, baby girl.
Rehearsal was in two hours and I couldn’t walk through the door with the same spirit I’d crossed the threshold with over the last three and a half weeks. The cast was counting on me. Cecilia was counting on me. This was my chance to prove that I still belonged, and I wouldn’t allow August’s absence to ruin that opportunity for me.
No one will.I concluded, making my way to the middle of the floor.
“Now. Again.”
I positioned myself for the first move and prepared to make a hundred more. We’d be here for a while. I wouldn’t rest until I felt better about my performance. Better about myself. Better about being alone although there was nothing inside of me that wanted to be.
“The personyou called has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. To–”
Click.
I ended the call, simultaneously hating the fact that I’d made it. Week five had come and was almost over and I still hadn’t heard a word from August.
On one hand I wanted to worry, but my heart wouldn’t allow it. I knew August could handle himself. Something deep within assured me he wasn’t missing limbs or teeth or intestines orfingers or toes or a piece of his brain. He was intact. Wherever he was, he was whole. But me, I was in pieces.
Bzzzzt.
Bzzzzt.
My phone vibrated in my hand. I perked with excitement, hoping my call was being returned. It wasn’t.
“Hello?”
“Come downstairs my love,” Rome breathed onto the line.
“Rome, I–”
“Come down, Tiana. You’ve survived another year on earth and I can’t let the day go by without celebrating with you. Come down or I’m going to have to come up, sweetie. I don’t want to overstep, but I will.”
“I don’t have on anything exciting,” I confessed. “Neither do I feel like getting dressed.”
“You don’t have to. You can wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. We’ll have the entire place to ourselves, kid.”
“No surprises, Rome.”
“No surprises.”
I didn’t bother visiting the vanity to polish my skin with makeup or change my clothes. I grabbed my purse and keys before sliding into the gray New Balances near my door. They went perfectly with the oversized gray shirt and gray leggings I was lounging around in.
