Page 42 of Aug
“Men don’t really– I don’t know.”
“That shit as natural as pissing or waking up or falling asleep or– Ti, what panties?”
“The ones with the gray inside. They’re my period panties.”
“You need one of them pad things?”
“No. The panties are the pad things.”
“Alright. Bet.”
I headed into the guest bedroom where she demanded her things go instead of crowding my closet. I wasn’t utilizing even half of the one in my bedroom, but she had insisted. It was becoming increasingly clear that whatever Ti wanted, Ti would get.
By the time I returned to my bedroom, Tiana was reaching for the panties in my hand. She pulled them up her body and waited for the pants. I observed carefully as she dressed herself, ready to step in if she needed help.
There were a few things I’d learned while living in the house with my mother. One was that women often needed help adjusting, fastening, or getting into their garments. Tiana wasn’t the exception. Date nights consisted of strapping on heels or zipping dresses in the back. Nevertheless, I enjoyed lending a helping hand. The results were always worth the effort in the end.
“Okay. I’m going to get some lotion on and I’m ready.”
“We have four minutes before Balle walks out of that door.”
“I’ll be ready.”
Tiana was true to her word. She moisturized her skin and filled her water bottle before strapping on the powder pink weight vest that held her cellphone and chapstick. Excitedly, shejogged to catch up with her best friend. I stayed behind, keeping the same stride as Saint and Koen as we exited the gates.
It was no surprise that our existence would fade into the background now that they were alongside each other. Tiana didn’t get her shoes on the pavement every morning with us, but out of the fifteen days she’d been at my place, she’d run at least nine of them.
This is it.I thought, watching as she found her stride.
This is life.
The life I want.
The company I want to keep.
TEN
Four weekslater
“Fuck!”
My feet fell flat and I lost my composure completely. For the past three and a half weeks it had been more of the same.
“I can’t show up this way again.”
Frustration coated every inch of my body. Rehearsal had me questioning my ability to grasp ahold of myself. My emotions. My pain.
I decided that a break was better than continuing to disappoint myself. I couldn’t remember feeling so purposeless. So misaligned. So out of touch with reality. But, here I was.
Lonely.
And losing it.
I picked my phone up from the table and waited for the screen to light up. To my dismay, there were no new notifications. Or, at least there weren’t any from the one person I wanted them from. The one person I needed them from.
Where are you, Aug?
Sighing, I took a seat at the dining table. It had been four weeks since I’d heard his voice. Four weeks since I’d felt his touch. Four weeks since he’d taken a leave of absence. Four weeks since I’d slept in his bed. Four weeks since he’d kissed me goodnight. Four weeks since he’d awakened me with his manhood.
