Page 37 of Aug
It didn’t matter her mode, I was enamored by every version of Tiana I’d met. I couldn’t help myself from laughing as I watched her body hang halfway out of the SUV as she sang the lyrics of SZA.
“That’s me, Miss Twenty-Something! Ain’t got nothing. Running from love. Wish you were here.”
“Ti–” I called out to her.
“Stuck in them twenty-somethings. Stuck in them twenty-somethings.”
I pulled on her dress, hoping to keep her inside of the car. My fear of her falling out was real, which was why I was going only twelve miles an hour as we hit the bends.
“Ti– baby, don’t fall out or I’m going to have to beat the fucking ground up.”
“Good luck on them twenty-somethings. Good luck on them twenty-somethings. God bless them twenty-somethings.”
Finally, she sat down.
“Hopin’ my twenty-somethings won’t end. Hoping to keep the rest of my friends.”
Her voice cracked as her emotions began to swell. I watched as her mood changed and sadness crept in her space.
“Praying the twenty-somethings don’t kill me. Kill me.”
No more words followed. There were only tears and plenty of them. Somehow, I wished I could take away whatever pain she was experiencing. I lowered the volume on the radio as we entered the gates. Silently, I shut off the engine and made my way around to Tiana’s side.
When I opened the door, her arms collapsed around me. She’d come close to death. I’d never understand her pain or the trauma her experience caused. But, I would do everything in my power to make sure she never faced that level of misfortune again.
“Hey– hey–”
“I’m sorry. I just– sometimes it all comes rushing back.”
“And that’s fine. I’m here. Cry when you need to cry. Yell when you need to yell. Fuss when you need to fuss. Quiet when you need to quiet. Hurt when you need to hurt. You’re in goodhands, Ti. I’ve come as I am and I want you to understand you can do the same.”
She cleared her face and then rested her head on my chest.
“You smell divine.”
“Come on. Let me get you inside. It’s about to rain.”
The clouds had begun to roar. Nature was layering its fragrance with each passing minute. Tiana smelled me and all I smelled was the rain.
“Can we stay out just a little while?”
“We can do whatever you want.”
“I want you to show me to the garden. The place you get my roses. I want to take in its beauty and thank those bushes for lending me a piece of their love.”
One by one, I slipped her shoes off her feet. She wouldn’t be getting very far in those. She’d done well for the night, keeping them strapped to her ankles. She could unwind now. She could relax. She was with me.
Her man.
Her confidant.
Her comfort zone.
I took Tiana by the hand and turned around. She climbed onto my back.
Wham.
The door slammed behind us as I led her toward the garden I’d visited far too many times to count. It was Balle’s favorite part of her home. She spent hours on end in the greenhouse some evenings.
