Page 88 of The Pack Next Door
I let out a breath, almost able to see my room, my plants, my balcony. To be in my own space, I wanted that so badly, it hurt. So why did I see shadowy shapes moving from behind the curtains? Three tall, masculine shadows that converged as a hand pushed through the curtain, ready to pull it aside.
Getting the two ladies home and settled in the lounge room, I gave Mum her meds and made up a pile of sandwiches and tea. They were chattering over what they would do to the garden as I went upstairs. To pack, that was my intention, yet as soon as I walked inside my room, I found myself drifting over to the window.
As a teenager, I’d sat on the window sill at night, much to Mum’s chagrin, and looked out at the world, wondering whatmy life would turn out like. Out of the darkness, I’d conjured all sorts of dreams, most of them not even ones I could articulate to another person. Excitement, grand romantic gestures, they’d been high on the list, but underneath it all was a much more grounded desire for a life that was comfortable, worthwhile, meaningful. I smiled despite myself, realising that no matter how they’d performed today, the Whitlocks had helped me to see something.
Good intentions were worth something, but they had to be backed up by real effort. I needed to rebuild the relationship with Tom and Honey as well as my customer base, all while reconsidering my relationships with my suppliers. Was I pushing other artisans into production schedules they found untenable, just because that’s what I’d do? I needed to find out.
But one thing I did know is that I was going to move on with my life and forget about having fated mates.
I’d gotten over the fact I couldn’t have kids pretty easily, I reasoned.
My wolf scrambled to her feet inside me.
I mean, it’d be weird going through another heat without the Whitlocks. There was something they had that even Mr. Knotty couldn’t match.
She paced back and forth, letting out a little whine.
But a silicone dildo could be shoved into the dishwasher afterwards, cleaned at high temperature, and packed away for next time.
A sharp bark let me know what she thought. Stubborn bloody animal, I cursed, showing her a choice snapshot of what we’d just seen. Somehow, she seemed prepared for that, staring right back at me as memories came unbidden.
Gideon’s arms around me as he carried me from the town centre. Mads’ joking as he braved the depths of the shed. Jace’s wolf nipping and teasing mine, then holding me, skin to skin.I didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to hear their words again. Revisiting this stuff just fucking hurt, and I was done with that. Clothes were snatched up and shoved into my bag, my laptop stuffed into its case. I moved like a machine, stuffing her down, my feelings down, because there was nothing to be gained by sitting around in my room and moping.
Which is exactly what I’d done the night I discovered the Forrests had rejected me.
I could still hear the thud of my footsteps as I ran upstairs. Mum’s voice came from the lounge room, calling my name as I slammed the bedroom door shut, making clear that I didn’t want anyone to enter. My hands shook, remembering clasping the pillow to my stomach and then shoving my face into it, my silent scream echoing everywhere inside my head.
But nowhere in my room.
The only way I could think to deal with the pain back then was to pretend it wasn’t happening. Mum and I had hit the road the next day, full of optimism that my pack was out there. Yeah, well, I knew who they were now, and I had no use for them. It was past time I left Moon River.
This time for good.
Coming downstairs with all my bags packed, Mum nodded at the sight of it.
“Thought you might be headed off.” She looked a little bit sad and a whole lot proud as she pulled me into a hug. “Thanks for coming down to visit.”
“Of course, Mum.”
“I’ll come and see you next time,” she promised. “Now…”
I followed her eyes, knowing exactly what she meant. If the Whitlocks weren't expelled from the town, they’d be her neighbours and I’d be forced to see them every day I was down for a holiday. There’d be no relaxation to be hard there. I pursed my lips and then smiled.
“It’s OK,” I said. “Not every omega ends up accepting the bond.” I shrugged. “Looks like I’m one of them.”
“Do they know that?”
She didn’t need to articulate who. My jaw muscle flexed and then, when I heard a door slam and the muffled sound of shouted voices, I nodded. Maybe this was what the Forrests felt when they rejected me. That they had to do something impossibly tough and the only way forward was just to do it.
Well, I would with considerably more courage than they had.
My bags were placed in the back of my car, my laptop on the back seat, before I turned towards the neighbour’s house. April had chivvied them inside, an eye on the street, no doubt worried about what people thought.
Well, I’d give them my thoughts.
Could they become the ruling pack with no omega? Maybe. But they sure as hell weren’t doing so with my support.
Something April was very upset by, it seemed.
