Page 104 of The Pack Next Door
“Saved by the bell,” I said, getting to my feet, ready to retrieve our order.
Jace got their first, making sure to thank the man, then carried the food outside. If I thought he was distracted by the savoury smells coming from the paper packaging, I was wrong. Those keen eyes found mine in the darkness as we walked towards the pier.
“We’ve talked about this,” I said finally. “I told you what I was thinking.”
“Not what you were feeling.”
We found a concrete picnic table and he unpacked the food with a flourish. My juice bottle lid was cracked, then he handed it over. I shook my head. He was treating me like a child, but Isat down anyway. The stomach I had been studiously ignoring all day started making its presence known very insistently. I was almost nauseous with hunger, collecting a few chips and crunching on them before hauling a piece of fish my way. Jace spared me a look, obviously happy to be proven right as I demolished it in seconds. Catching my breath, I paused and then finally met his gaze.
“What’s there to say?” There was way more challenge in my tone than I meant, but he just sat there, pulling a piece of fish off and munching it, waiting me out. My wolf started to whine and pace inside me. The silvery shine of his eyes made clear his animal was looking right at mine. My therapist looked at me the same way, right before she told me I was intellectualising again. “Everything went the way I expected it to. Well,” I winced when I remembered the last trial, “except for capture the flag.”
His chewing stopped, his whole body going still, and then I was feeling bad.
“See, that’s why I don’t want to talk about this. I’m just hurting you for no reason.”
“Hurting who?” He made a show of sitting up straight, hands on the paper. “I’m just your friend, ready to listen. So what happened at this trial thing?”
My lips twisted as I shook my head, and for a moment, I considered steering this conversation back to safer waters. Maybe because I was tired, even hangry, as he said, but I sucked in a breath and let him have it.
“Growing up, every girl was transfixed by the idea of revealing as an omega,” I explained. “It meant that all the uncertainty of beta life was gone. You didn’t have to worry about what you would do or who you’d spend it with. Fate had already decided. I’d find my mates in one of the younger packs in town and then I’d spend my life pampered by them. I’d have a…” Ipaused, then forged on. “A few kids and ensure the family line continued, all while being adored by the men fate chose for me.”
My focus shifted, following the dark shapes of the waves on the beach beyond as they pulled back and then rushed back in again.
“But that’s not what happened. I revealed as an omega, only to find out I wasn’t fated to be with any of the packs in town. Nor the next town or the next…” My voice trailed away, swallowed by the hiss of the sea. “All the certainty I thought was my birthright was stripped from me and I had to work out what the hell to do instead.”
My focus snapped back to Jace.
“So I did. I built something solid…” A frown as I remembered how shaky the foundations of that was. The phone calls, all of those damaged pieces… “Well, up until last week. But here’s the thing, Jace.”
He didn’t correct me. We weren’t playing the game where he was a female friend and confidante. He asked for this, I reminded myself, so he couldn’t complain about what he got.
“A lot of beta women talk about the fact that if a man doesn’t add value to their existing life, they don’t want him in it. It sounded kinda transactional the first couple of times I heard it, but I think I understand now. Women have been doing it for themselves for some time now, making their own happiness, their own wellbeing their priority, because no one else will. That’s what I did. All on my own and without the aid of any alphas. My business, my heat, all of it. I managed it all. So when it became clear you guys weren’t at all interested in fitting into my life here…”
I looked around me, seeing the pier with fresh eyes. The first time I saw the sea was down here, my mind unable to comprehend so much water in one place.
“That tracked. I don’t really get why you’ve had a change of heart, but in the end…” The sounds of the wind, of seagulls whirling overhead, helped drag this out of me. “It doesn’t really matter. Do whatever you need to, but my decision still stands. I have a life I love living, a home that’s all mine, and I’m not jeopardising my peace for anyone.”
I’m not sure what response I was expecting. My chest heaved as I sucked in breaths, my body betraying a reaction that didn’t manage to penetrate the cool of my brain.
“I guess it would be kinda scary.” My brows drew down as I stared at him, unable to understand where this was going. “To relinquish any kind of control after you’ve demonstrated that you’re eminently capable of keeping it all together.” This was about as serious as I’d ever seen Jace. It was as if he was another person. Silver eyed, speaking slowly but with complete confidence. “To trust someone to take any of the burdens off your shoulders, especially when we’ve already proven how fallible we can be.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said.
“Isn’t it? What if we turned up for you every day? What if you came to rely on us? What if you trusted us to do some of the shit that doesn’t require your skill set?” His questions hit me hard, leaving me staring at him with incomprehension. “We managed to prove every one of your fears correct, and for that I’m more sorry than I could say.”
Jace toyed with a chip but didn’t eat it.
“Say sorry and make amends. Not sure who taught us that, because it wasn’t my family.” He nodded slowly. “Don’t know what else but to do that.” His eyes narrowed as he saw me just sitting there. “Make sure you’re looked after, that’s one thing. Not gonna pretend you don’t have an emergency at work. You do. Not gonna say don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” His smile was rueful. “I know how little good that will dome. But I do know that you are going to be able to roll with the punches and meet the challenges of the day with proper rest, food, and hydration.” The chip dropped to the paper. “Which makes me realise I should’ve suggested somewhere a bit more health conscious for us to eat dinner at.”
“I’ll have you know I lived off McDonalds Happy Meals most of the first year I spent in the city,” I replied despite myself.
“Omega…” He groaned and then caught himself. “Briar, if making sure you get something decent to eat is something we can take off your shoulders, consider it done. Now, I’m convincing myself that fish at least has omega threes in it, so eat up.”
I did, because otherwise I’d be forced to consider what he said. Jace’s words rattled around in my head the entire drive home. I dropped him off at his hotel, noting how close it was to my place, but before he got out, he darted over, pressing a kiss to my cheek before I had a chance to stop him, his grin making clear he knew he was taking liberties.
“So, I’ll see you bright and early for breakfast then.”
“What?” He jerked the door open and got out. “No, I?—”
