Page 100 of Spencer and the Younger Girl
“Can I tell you a secret?”
He nodded, unable to speak.
“I felt like that every day for almost three years.” She nudged his shoulder. “I didn’t feel the life snap back into me until I opened the door to find you staring back at me.”
He remembered that night so clearly. She’d screamed, taken him to a hockey game, and then proceeded to distance herself from him. “It was not exactly the homecoming I’d imagined.”
“I used to dream of you just showing up one day. I would invite you inside, feed you until you felt ready to explode, and then never let you leave my sight again.”
“I need to go to the hospital.” He tried to get up, but she pulled him back down, not releasing his arm.
“Son, Hadley is surrounded by the people who know her best. She needs to focus on her grandfather, not the man who just broke up with her.”
He cringed. “You really do have eyes everywhere.”
She released a humorless laugh. “Just a mama’s intuition. I need to apologize to you.”
“You have nothing—”
“Please, let me speak.” She paused. “I didn’t know. Yesterday when we told you to give up Hadley, I didn’t know she was the one person who might be able to keep you here with me.”
“How do you know now?”
She brushed a hand over his cheek. “Did you know that when a heart breaks, it’s the eyes that tell the world? You came in here thinking she was hurt with the shattered pieces of your heart looking out at me.”
“Ma—”
“Hush up, dear.” She patted his knee. “I have things I need to say to you. I was angry at you. For a long time, so angry. You didn’t just leave this town, you left your family. Then I started to think there was something, some explanation I didn’t know because my Spencer wouldn’t just give up on me.”
She squeezed his knee. “When you came back, so did the anger. And I’m so sorry for that. Yesterday, I found out my youngest son was dating another boy. I didn’t know until about five minutes before that meeting when your father told me. Apparently, he’s the one with eyes everywhere.” She chuckled to herself, but there was no smile to go along with the sound.
“And it reminded me that nothing Damien could do, nothing he could be would change how I see him. I don’t care who he wants to date.”
“But Gabe… you told him he had to end it. He did.”
Her lips tugged down. “Another mistake. But that’s not the point here. I know you always thought you were second to your brother in our eyes, that we were disappointed in you. But Spencer, nothing you could do, nothing you could be would make us love you any less.”
A tear slipped down his face, and he was not a crier. But his mom’s words sank into him, healing the little boy who only wanted her approval, the man who’d missed her every day he’d been away.
“Ma.” He sucked in a breath. Now was the moment. “Victoria was pregnant.”
It took a moment for the information to register in her eyes, but when it did, she pulled back just the slightest bit.
Spencer gathered every bit of courage he possessed. “We were too young, and I don’t think we were meant to be, but I was happy. She was my best friend, and I was going to be a dad.”
His mom didn’t say anything as she threaded her fingers through his.
“Then the bleeding started. There was so much blood.” He remembered that day like it was yesterday. He’d thought she was dying when she called him over in the middle of the night. He drove her to the hospital and paced in the waiting room while they took care of her.
“She lost it. I was eighteen, I should have been relieved. But Ma…”
“Oh, my boy.” She put a hand to his cheek and guided his head to her shoulder.
“Only Victoria’s mom knew, but I was trying to work up the nerve to tell you. Days later, Victoria told me she couldn’t be with me any longer. I didn’t even fight for her. I think some part of me knew there was nothing left to fight for. I felt like the entire world let me down, and the only thing that made sense to me was getting away. I never planned to stay gone. I never planned to not call.”
She didn’t speak for a long moment, and he listened to the sound of their breathing, letting the rhythm calm him.
“Spencer,” she whispered. “I wish I could have been there for you, but maybe all that matters is that you’re here now.” She rested her head on his. “You’ve always been a part of this ranch, and it’s like it’s been missing the beat of its heart since you left. Damien will graduate high school and move on, but you… you love this place, don’t you?”
