Page 83 of We Thought We Were Invincible
He was right, of course. I tried for something quick, uncomfortably aware of Jay sitting on the other side of me, but Jamie wasn't having it. He took what I gave and demanded more, sliding his warm tongue into my mouth with a groan. His hands held my face in place until he finally let up. “God, I love you,” he breathed, releasing me and jumping to his feet.
“Are you coming, lover boy?” Morgan yelled.
With a final wink, Jamie ran after them.
“That is not my brother.” Jay laughed, shaking his head.
“Jay, you ask me to help him, but what if he's not the only one who's lost?” I turned toward him.
“Callie …” He didn't know what else to say.
“This year has been hard. I've done things I never would have dreamed. My life has been invaded by all these doubts and fears. The shooting changed how I see the world. It changed me. And now I don't know anything anymore. We graduate soon and after that, I can't see my life.” I lifted my eyes to his. “Everyone at school is talking about college. Colby has a full scholarship. I haven't told anyone this, but I didn't even apply.”
“Seriously?” He looked stunned. “Why not?”
“I had a few colleges picked out and then everything happened. After that, I realized I didn't want to do something just because it was expected. In that locker-room, all I could think was that I was going to die and all I'd ever done was sit in a classroom. So, I watched the deadlines pass.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“I don't know.” I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around my knees. “Get out of Gulf City I guess.”
“How does Jamie fit into that?” he asked.
“I don't know that either.”
He sat still for a while before pulling me into a side hug as we turned our attention to our friends, their carefree laughter standing as a strange backdrop to our thoughts of the future.
* * *
“Is she gone?”I asked as Colby peered out the front window.
“Just pulled away,” he confirmed.
I jumped up from the couch and followed my brother out into the garage. He pulled out a ladder and positioned it under the door to the attic before climbing to the top and pushing up on the ceiling panel that was our access. He slid it out of the way as I positioned myself near the bottom.
His head and torso disappeared into the small attic.
“There isn't much up here.” His voice was muffled coming through the ceiling.
“Let's bring it all down,” I called.
He ducked out of the attic, box in hand, and stepped down a few rungs before handing it to me. This was repeated until we had stacks of about ten boxes. Neither of us had ever had much interest in what was up there, but now it seemed to be the only thing that mattered.
I hoisted a box into my arms, carrying it inside and dropping it in the middle of the living room floor with a loud thud. Colby followed suit as I headed out for another one.
Once it was all there, right in front of us, we both froze as the enormity of what we were doing crashed down around us.
“Our father could be in there,” he whispered reverently.
I looked at him, scanning his face until our eyes met. My brother had never before shown an interest in learning about our past. Our entire lives, I'd been the one asking questions, hounding Mom and Aunt Kat. Maybe he'd just been hiding it well, because now, in his eyes, all I saw was a desperation that matched my own.
He gave me a small smile and a nod. It was time. We moved as one toward the boxes, lowering ourselves to sit in front of them on the floor.
I lifted the lid off the first one as Colby got to work on another. Memories of my mom flooded out - knickknacks and other inconsequential things Kat hadn't been able to bring herself to get rid of. Family heirlooms I recognized. Mom used to show us these things with pride as she talked about her parents who were gone by the time we were four.
I moved on to the next box and then the next. More of the same. An hour passed and we were no closer. I picked up a framed photo of my mom as a child and smiled for just an instant before slamming it down.
“There's nothing here.” I shoved the box away with my foot as the disappointment closed in around me.
