Page 71 of We Thought We Were Invincible
Morgan refusedto see us the entire time she was in the hospital, but we didn't stop trying. Parker, no longer the carefree girl I knew, kept us updated. Their family was hurting and that wasn't likely to end soon.
We were all dealing in our own ways. I kept busy, trying to forget. That was easiest. Morgan pulled away from even her closest friends. Colby went about business as usual, keeping up his impervious facade. And Jamie. Oh Jamie, the boy who never needed anyone. Well, he held onto everyone with both hands and his feet and even his teeth if he could. His father became a larger fixture in his life, despite their differences. And me, well things were different than they were before.
Jamie laid on my bed, flipping through a magazine. I found him waiting there when I got off work.
“Break is almost over,” he said. “We have to go back to that place.”
“I hadn't thought about it.” I looked away and pretended to straighten things on my desk. In truth, I'd thought about little else.
He leapt up, catching me around the waist. “It's okay. I'm going to be right there with you.”
“Uh huh.”
“Callie, look at me.”
I did as he asked, meeting his bright eyes.
“I'm going to be right there with you. We're doing this, you and me. I meant what I told you in that locker room.”
I looked down again. His words had been playing through my head for weeks, but they were mixed in with everything else I'd been feeling and we hadn't talked about it.
“I'm in love with you.”
“I just figured you thought we were going to die.” I tried to make a joke because that's what I did. Deflect. Deflect. Deflect.
He pulled me against his chest. “Don't do that.”
“Do what?”
“Downplay what I'm telling you.”
“Jamie, I know you think you love me now, but I don't want it to be just because of what we went through together.”
“It's-”
I held a finger to his lips.
“One of these days this is all going to feel real to you like it does to the rest of us. It's not going to be about speeches with your father or realizing how lucky you are to be alive. Because that's what's happening. You feel lucky and you feel the need to tell people you care. When you crash and that luck turns to guilt or fear, you'll see how hearing someone loves you is not enough to fill the hole in your heart. Not yet.”
His arms slipped from my waist to hang limp at his sides. I released him, allowing him to pass me. He stopped at the door and turned.
“I'll pick you up for school tomorrow.”
I nodded, and he was gone.
27
Callie
The first thing we were told at school was that there were therapists available to talk to us if need be. Talk. Like any of us could form the words.
The gym was closed until further notice, just one more reminder.
It was exam week since they'd been postponed. I walked into creative writing to be greeted with a warm smile from Mr.Chase. I'd spent a lot of time with him over the holidays, but now he was my teacher once again.
Looking toward the back, I was shocked to see Morgan sitting in her usual seat. If it wasn't for the sling on her arm, she'd look as if nothing happened.
I slid in beside her and she didn't even look up. Hannah sat on her other side, but the two didn't speak.
