Page 35 of Feral: Part Two
The fox in me is restless, pacing beneath my skin with the need to be close to my Omega. Every instinct I have is screaming that I should be in that den, helping with the babies, providing support and protection. Instead, I'm relegated to the kitchen because being in that room could endanger the lives I’m carrying as well as my mates.
An hour after we left the room, Malik decided to focus on food, needing a distraction from not being able to hold the pups. I can tell he's worried, constantly glancing toward the hallway thatleads to Preston's den. But it's not just concern for Preston that's making my skin feel too tight.
I can already feel what seems like the start of my own contractions.
They're subtle at first, just a tightening low in my belly that could be explained away as stress or anxiety. But there's a rhythm to them, a building intensity that tells me I don’t have much time. Before I came here, I didn’t even fucking know I was pregnant and now it’s been just over two weeks that I’m here and already ready?
I can’t do this.
I look down at my belly, running my hands over the taut skin. The babies inside me shift and flutter, responding to the tension in my body with movements that feel more urgent than usual. I redressed in something more comfortable after my mates fucked me into unconsciousness, but it’s suddenly feeling like too much. Fuck, I’m not ready.
Pushing away from the table, I grunt with the strength it takes to stand up. My body feels heavy and awkward, like I'm carrying twice the weight I was yesterday. Which, according to Nathan’s explanation, is probably true. The movement sends another wave of tightening through my abdomen, stronger this time.
"Going to find a den?" Malik asks, looking up from the stove where he's stirring something that smells like cheese. If I weren’t so uncomfortable right now, I might have asked for some.
"No, I'm just going to sleep," I lie, not wanting to admit that my body might be preparing for something I'm not ready to face alone. Kael will find me like he always does and he promised he’d be there.
I start waddling toward the back door, Nathan and Kael’s voices spilling out into the hall. Nathan catches me just as I pull open the glass. "Have the contractions started?"
"No, I'm just tired and I would like to go to sleep," I say, probably too quickly to be convincing.
The truth is, I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed that my body is responding to Preston's labor, that I can't control the timing any better than he could. Embarrassed that I'm about to go through this without him, without the support system I thought I'd have.
I rush toward my little sanctuary, past the horridly patched-up hole in our fence, each step requiring more concentration than it should. The familiar space welcomes me, the den I built in the corner feeling like the only place that truly belongs to me.
I start fluffing up my blankets and pillows, arranging them in the configuration that feels most secure. The physical activity helps distract me from the growing discomfort in my belly and gives my hands something to do while my mind races. That's when I notice a different scent entering my space and twist around to find Kael standing at the entrance.
"Come to check on me and make sure I'm not having my babies? They're not coming yet." The words come out more defensive than I intended, but I can't help the edge of bitterness that creeps in.
"No, I'm coming to check on you because I understand your need to be with Preston and not being able to," Kael says quietly. "I can't even hold my own children until Preston shifts back, and we're not sure when that will be."
I hadn't considered that Kael might be feeling displaced, too, that Preston's feral protectiveness is affecting more than just my access to him. Relaxing a little, I feel his anxiety through the bond that matches mine.
"Thanks," I mutter, not sure what else to say.
Kael steps closer, his presence filling the space without crowding me. "You've got a phone in here. If you need anything, you can call."
"You're not going to hover?" I ask, surprised by his restraint. My instincts are screaming at me to protect myself, to build a better den and keep everyone else out. Some minuscule, animalistic part of me longs for the Alpha who put these babies in my belly, while rationally, I just want Kael to stay. But his presence is making me itch and I’m afraid that the moment I shift, I’ll lash out at the hand that feeds me.
"Even if I wanted to, I won't. Not unless you ask."
My face twists up at that, a mixture of gratitude and frustration warring in my chest. Part of me wants him to stay, to refuse to leave me alone during this vulnerable time. But another part appreciates that he's giving me the choice, that he's not making assumptions about what I need.
"But I do want to clear something up," Kael continues, his voice taking on a more serious tone. "It's not because your pups won't be mine. They will be treated the same way we treat Preston's children. You are ours, Slate. That's not going to change. Know that you have four people in your corner."
Kael said that before, when I was trying to get to Preston. He wanted me to see his babies, but the primal part of him wouldn’t let me get closer. He apologized, both of us needing each other and not being able to share the same space. Fuck biology. However, hearing Kael say it again—say that my babies are just as much his as Preston’s are means more than he’ll know.
I throw him a small smile, the best I can manage when my emotions are running so high and my body is preparing for birth. “What if I can’t…”
Kael moves just close enough to press a kiss to my forehead, silencing my words. “You forget I can feel you, Slate. We all can. When it’s time, I’ll be able to feel you and then I’ll be right at your side, okay?”
I just nod, watching him leave and close the door behind him. For sure, I thought he might change his mind and drag me backinto the house, but over the past week, he’s been very adamant about showing me that I have autonomy.
That I am my own person and I have my own choices.
That I am a member of this pack and this afternoon reaffirmed that.
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