Page 15 of Havoc
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Lawrence had lied to himself. Though he did feel the same as before his work trip, he still hadn't contacted Remy. He wasn't exactly sure what he was so scared of. At this point, he realized that while he hadn't been used to the way Remy had fucked him, his body yearned for it, wanted it again, and Lawrence was denying himself that sweet pleasure.
He was waking up more often than not hard as a rock. Since he'd been with Remy, there was rarely a night that he did not dream of the other man. Typically, those dreams consisted of Remy doing all those salaciously dirty things he had to him and so much more.
Attempting to take care of himself also did not work in Lawrence’s favor because even if he came, he was still very unsatisfied. It had gotten to the point that not even porn was helping him release the way he needed to. He knew he had to do something soon when he started comparing random men on the street to Remy when, before, he would have appreciated whatever feature had caused him to look in the first place.
Lawrence groaned as he threw his head back against the couch. This should not have been that hard for him, and he knew he was probably making it harder for no reason. All it would take was one call to end his suffering, but what would Lawrence even say to him? He wasn't sure if he had the right to be the one to approach Remy now that he ghosted him.
A part of Lawrence just wanted to say fuck it: pick up the phone, call Remy, and ask if he wanted to come over and blow hisback out because, honestly, with as pent up as Lawrence found himself over the past few weeks, he could do with a good fucking.
There was another part of him that knew that wouldn't work. Remy would want an explanation as to why Lawrence had ghosted him and would want to talk about it. But what was Lawrence supposed to tell him?You fucked me so good, made me feel small, and caused me to submit, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I'm not sure if mentally I like it, but my dick is doing all the thinking for me, and so I want to do it again. Yeah, Lawrence wasn't sure how that would go over.
Besides, in this situation, he felt that if Remy wanted him even after all the ghosting, then Remy should be the one to approach him. It wasn't that Lawrence wanted him to beg; it was that Lawrence wanted him to have that control, and while he didn't understand it, wasn't sure if he could handle it, it's what at least one part of him wanted.
Lawrence had an idea, and he picked his phone up from the coffee table. Bringing up his text messages with Alijah, he sent her a text taking her up on a previous offer to give him a tour of her office floor. They spoke about it a few months ago because Lawrence and his co-workers wanted to remodel their floor.
His friend had been back from her honeymoon for almost two weeks now, and while they had spoken and she told him about some of the places they’d gone, he hadn't told her about his night with Remy. Lawrence knew he needed to remedy that soon. He figured he could tell her, Erin, and Chayse once Erin settled in since the older of the three women had decided to move to town.
Alijah responded to his text message, telling him he could come anytime that week. Lawrence replied that he would see her on Friday afternoon at one since he only worked half a day that day.
His plan was simple. All he needed to do was get himself in the same vicinity as Remy, and from there, he hoped the other man would make a move and give him some sign. If he didn't, Lawrence was prepared to take things into his own hands at that point. If Remy turned him down, Lawrence would have to accept that he'd blown it and missed his chance. Maybe being turned down would get the other man out of his head during all hours of the day and night.
Getting up, Lawrence went into the kitchen. He needed a drink. Even all these weeks later, his night with Remy remained at the forefront of his mind. Lawrence was down bad for this man, and that shit was new to him. Maybe that was part of why he was so adamant about staying away from him at first because Remy was forcing him to feel all kinds of firsts.
After pouring himself a generous glass of whiskey, Lawrence returned to his living room and turned on the television. He figured watching a bit of television would take his mind off the fact that he was about to have a serious case of blue balls. They'd been building for some time now, and even with release, they were not going away.
Taking a drink from his glass, he flipped through the channels mindlessly. There was nothing, in particular, he was looking for to watch. He was just attempting to kill time. Finally settling on some cooking channel, he decided to lose himself in the show.
Lawrence hadn’t realized how much time had crept past him until his stomach began to growl. Getting up from the couch, he went into the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets for something quick to fix. When he found nothing, he decided to check the refrigerator instead.
Coming up empty, Lawrence was in no mood to leave his apartment. So, he decided to order takeout from the little Thai place nearby. They had a reputation for getting your food to you in less than 30 minutes.
After placing his order, Lawrence was tempted to pour himself another drink, but since he had to work in the morning, he decided against it. The last thing he needed was to go into the office with a hangover and have his nosey office neighbor try to be all in his business. So, he washed his glass, dried it, and put it away.
Lawrence returned to the living room and retook his position on the couch. The original cooking show he'd started watching had gone off, and now he was watching teams compete to see who could make the most life-like dessert.
When his food arrived, he tipped the delivery driver and went to his kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of water, he spread the food across the coffee table and sat on the floor in front of it, digging in.
Once finished, Lawrence threw his trash away before checking the time. He hadn't realized that it was going on eleven o'clock. Entering his bedroom, he continued into his ensuite. Starting the shower, he undressed as he waited for the water to heat up.
After his shower, he dried himself off before moisturizing and slipping into boxers. Remembering that his phone was still in the living room, he retrieved it before returning to his bedroom.
Turning his light off, Lawrence slid into bed. He had little hope that his dreams wouldn't be riddled with Remy bending him over the nearest surface. Though, it was as close to action as he was getting at the moment.
Remy leaned back in the chair he occupied and smirked at Kieran. He'd been back in the office a couple of days now, and Remy had allowed him to catch up on some things by himself before the two of them met. Now, as he sat across from him, the look of disbelief on Kieran's face amused Remy.
“Run that by me again,” Kieran requested.
Remy found himself chuckling. “I met with Victor Finch while you were gone. He had what he believed was a brilliant business proposal. I informed him that it was not in any way one you would be interested in.”
Remy watched Kieran lean forward in his seat, placing his hands on his desk. “And how did he take that?”
“I'm sure it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but I'm also sure he'll pretend the conversation never happened. I don't care about that too much. The fact that I got to tell him was so satisfying.”
Kieran chuckled. “At this point, I'd almost be willing to pay him to keep his ideas far away from me.”
“On the bright side, I'm sure that scared him off for a while. So, he can be someone else’s problem for a bit.”
