Page 139 of Mayhem
“Look at you snatching up two established men and not some bum with a pipedream,” Grams responded. “I’d like to visit one of his restaurants while we’re in town, and I want to see your shop.”
“I can take you to see it tomorrow. I know you might be tired from the flight.”
“You’re closed on Monday, aren’t you?” her dad asked.
“Yeah, but I can still take her to see it, and I’ll ask Paetyn about dinner at one of the restaurants for Tuesday. I’d like you all to meet before Thanksgiving, and since you’re flying out Friday morning, it’ll be the best time to visit one.”
“I’d like that,” Grams responded. “Now, you didn’t answer my last question. The sex?”
“Julia, please. I don’t want to know how they have sex.”
“Morris, stop acting like you’re averse to talks of sex. I remember catching you and Andrea often going at it like rabbits.”
Her dad groaned, and Erin laughed. He’d never had an issue with her talking to him about anything, but sex had never been something she spoke about with him for obvious reasons. Erin would spare them both.
“I’ll tell you all about it when it’s just the two of us,” Erin responded, though she was not going to tell her grandmother much more than that she was having sex. Their food arrived shortly after, and they spent the rest of lunch catching up.
“This is nice, Erin,” Grams stated, sitting on the couch beside her after their tour.
“Thank you. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect place.”
“I love the setup and the decor.” Grams ran her hand over the couch. “Where did you get this couch?”
“I honestly can’t tell you. It was already decorated when they gave it to me for my birthday, and I was so in love with it. I never even thought to ask where they’d gotten things from.”
“That was sweet of them.” Grams took her hands, squeezing them gently. “You seem very happy. You’ve allowed two more people in, and I’m glad you could.”
“I am. They make me happy.”
Erin hadn’t tried to let any of her past partners close for a long time, keeping them at bay and keeping things casual, which ultimately ended some relationships. She didn’t want to constantly open herself up and be left disappointed or feel like she was too clingy, needy, or demanding of their time when she got attached. She knew those things were a turnoff and that they would cause issues in the relationship and make it feel like she didn’t trust them; it was far from the truth.
Yes, she could have explained to them that she suffered from a disorder, but the two times she’d tried to do so in the past, she’d been called a liar and accused of using that as an excuse to make herself feel better about wanting to be where they were as she obviously didn’t trust them. So, she shifted what she wanted from relationships. She kept her expectations to fun, and if she was pushed for more, for a deeper commitment, she withdrew and walked away, aware that it was unhealthy.
She didn’t feel like that with Paetyn and Cruz. When they had the conversation at the park, she panicked and withdrew by pushing them away. Both men wanted to do things for her, buy her things, and how they viewed the depths of their relationship seemed real to her, though she didn't know how to digest it. However, a part of her nagged the entire way to her apartment that day. She didn’t want them to leave it that wayand decided she wanted to tell them. They would believe her, or they wouldn’t.
Erin knew she’d been dating the wrong people when she finally opened up because they hadn’t batted an eye. They’d done nothing but reassure her. She wanted to attribute dating two men to why they hadn’t gotten upset with her clinginess and neediness, but she knew that was not true.
She’d spent almost every minute she wasn’t working under Paetyn while Cruz was gone and spent every second she could breathing Cruz’s air while Paetyn was away. It also didn’t matter what they were doing; if she entered a room they were in, one, if not both, of them were touching her in some way. She realized it was them giving her what she needed without her feeling like she was being a bit extra.
“So?” Grams questioned, pulling Erin from her thoughts. “About the sex?”
Erin laughed. “Grams, I’m not going to tell you how we have sex.”
“But you are having it.”
She was an adult, and just as her grandmother had walked in on her parents a few times, she’d walked in on Erin. So, it wasn’t like the older woman thought she was a virgin.
“Yes.” A simple reply that should have sufficed.
“Come on. Let an old lady live vicariously through you. Is it one at a time in private? Does one watch while the other has his fun?” Grams’ eyes widened. “Do you take them both at the same time?!”
Erin shook her head with a laugh as she stood. “Let’s go. We’re going to be late for our spa appointment.”
Her grandmother stood, a smirk taking over her face. The mischievous look made her look ten years younger. “You do, don’t you?”
Erin would not dignify that with an answer, so they left the shop and headed to a spa where she’d booked them a massage.
When the door to the private room opened, Paetyn stood from the table, Cruz doing the same, and Erin, Morris, and her grandmother were led in. They approached the round table, and Erin rose on her toes to kiss him before moving over to Cruz as Morris shook his hand.
