Page 6 of Her Marine
“No. I want no parts of whatever sorcery he’s conducting that has me feeling…whatever the hell I was feeling,” Journee partially lied because a particular part of her body wanted some part of his.
“Stop being so dramatic, and you’re clearly still feeling it if you’re here talking about it.”
Journee let silence lapse between them, not knowing exactly how to respond. Yes, she still felt the aftermath of Killian’s words, presence, and aura days later. She felt like admitting that out loud would lock her into some sort of binding.
Kaydence handed Journee the cake spatula once she finished with it, and she began to lick it. Anything to get her mind off of the topic at hand. That and the fact that no one in the world made better baked goods than her best friend, except for maybe Courtney.
Journee watched, licking the spatula clean as Kaydence cleaned up the mess she’d made. She would have offered to help, but her friend was particular about cleaning her baking utensils.
Once the spatula was cleaned of any batter, Journee allowed Kaydence to have it and clean it properly, as her subconscious questioned the worst that could happen if she spoke to Killian. It wasn’t like he lived in town, so he wouldn’t be around to overwhelm her.
“Maybe you could…call Axel and see if Killian is dating someone.” Though Journee seriously doubted he was with how he’d spoken to her. Or if he was, then he was an asshole, and she wanted no part of him.
Kaydence nodded at her, preparing to take the brownies from the oven. Journee couldn’t wait for them to cool so they could eat while they binged their series.
They were getting ready to start the fifth episode hours later when there was a knock on Kaydence’s door, and Journee looked at the clock to see that it was after ten.
“I’ll get it,” she volunteered as she stood. “Because unless it’s your dad, Courtney, Talia, or Axel, somebody is about to get cursed out.” Though Journee knew it more than likely wasn’t Kaydence’s parents. They worked and lived overseas, and if they’d come to pay her a surprise visit by some chance, she knew they wouldn’t show up this late.
Kaydence’s soft laugh followed her out of the living room and down the hall. Journee looked through the peephole and saw who it was; she was very tempted to turn around and go back into the living room. Instead, she released a sigh, pulling the door open.
“What are you doing here?” she questioned.
“I came to see Kaydence. Let me in,” Alivia responded, stepping past her as if she was insignificant, and Journee thought mildly about tripping her but wouldn’t stoop to that childish level.
“What’s up?” Journee listened to Kaydence ask.
“Can we talk in private?” Alivia requested, and Journee rolled her eyes.
“Why? She’s just going to tell me,” Journee informed her, and it wasn’t a lie. Kaydence would unless it was something overly personal.
“Ugh. Fine,” Alivia conceded, and they followed Kaydence back into the living room.
The three of them sat down, and Journee waited for Alivia to explain her unexpected, unannounced, and unappreciated visit. She had been enjoying the series, and episode four had left them on a cliffhanger. She was ready to get the next one rolling.
When the silence in the living room had permeated the air for far longer than Journee thought it should have or appreciated, she let out an irritated sigh. She never had any qualms about putting someone out, whether at her house or someone else’s. However, Kaydence cutting her eyes in Journee’s direction had her swallowing down the sly remark she was about to release with an eye roll.
“I just wanted to come by and apologize.” Alivia finally spoke, and Journee knew the other woman was full of shit. “I shouldn’t have dropped the ‘Axel and I slept together’ bomb on you like that. Even though I was a bit tipsy, it still isn’t an excuse.”
Well, at least she had the last part right. It wasn’t an excuse, but Journee knew that Alivia seldom needed one to say the ignorant things she usually did or to make herself the center of attention.
“Your words hit me hard, though,” Alivia continued after a moment. “Because you were right. He’d been telling me that he didn’t want a relationship with me.”
Well, of course, he didn’t. What person in their right mind would want to attempt to be in a relationship with someone they’d previously dated, and it was pure toxicity?
“I don’t want Axel. Let me just say that.”
Journee couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth. “Could have fooled me.” This caused Kaydence to hit her on the leg with the back of her hand, but Journee was used to it after over fifteen years of friendship and ignored it.
“I don’t,” Alivia stated again, and Journee figured she was trying to convince herself of that because neither she nor Kaydence believed it. “Every part of me knows that we were bad together. The definition of toxic.”
At least she knew that much. It shocked Journee to learn that there was at least a minuscule amount of common sense in the other woman’s head. As fleeting as Journee was sure it was, most times. However, her being able to recognize that didn’t mean her not wanting Axel was true. Before Journee could point that out, Kaydence beat her to it.
“Knowing that doesn’t mean that you don’t want him. It just means that you recognize that what you had was unstable.”
The words had almost been verbatim to what Journee had been thinking, and it was times like these that she was sure she and Kaydence could read each other’s thoughts on some level.
“For me, it means both,” Alivia told them. Or, well, Kaydence, because Journee knew she was not speaking to her. If anything, Alivia was probably trying to ignore her. “I never want to put myself in a relationship like that again. Even if we were teenagers, I was constantly worried about him wanting to talk to someone else, cheating on me, getting tired of me.”
