Page 60 of Doubts of the Egoist
Kuon would have agreed, but somehow, the realization that he knew nothing about Tobias, while the man had obviously scrutinized his medical history, annoyed him.
“You have no idea what’s going on, so don’t makeassumptions because I’m not going back.” Kuon wrapped his fingers around Tobias’ wrist, stopping him from turning the wheel. Under the surprised gaze of the colorless eyes, Kuon clenched his teeth to keep them from chattering. Face to face in the dark, he noticed pinpoint pupils.Is he high? Have I completely run out of luck?
“I don’t have to be a geniusss to underssstand that Mio happened.” Tobias’ hand reached up to Kuon’s face and brushed the skin beneath his eye. Kuon flinched away from the cool touch as if it stung. “Your eyes are red and hot. Have you been crying?” Tobias didn’t smile as his snakish, unblinking gaze fixed on Kuon. “Poor Puppy, want me to comfort you? I promise I’ll be much gentler than Yugo ever was.”
“I’ll walk.” Kuon grabbed the door lock, but it didn’t budge.
With a huff, Tobias grabbed a dark blue blanket from behind his seat and tossed it toward Kuon.
A familiar aroma of freshly baked bread and cinnamon enveloped Kuon, indicating that Mio had used it last. Kuon’s pride reared up, but he nodded anyway and wrapped the soft fleece around his shoulders. It was stupid to refuse it when he was frozen.
“Buckle up.” Tobias said. The car spun as he floored the gas pedal, speeding toward Vienna.
The silence and the monotonous landscape behind the window drew Kuon’s thoughts to Yugo. The way he held Mio, just like two years ago, the way their lips touched. His reflection in the window grimaced as a thick knot of bitterness clogged his throat. His eyes stung and burned with resentment, and his chest ached from the accumulated frustration.
He wondered if Mio felt as insulted and humiliated as he did, but then he remembered the hard glare of the azure eyes and the farewell gesture.
How many times had Mio gone through this to be able to handle the shock so well?Kuon couldn’t even imagine.He must really love Yugo if he still fights for him… I don’t think I could do that.
He couldn’t help but think that, unlike himself, Mio was patient and forgiving. A perfect lover for someone like Yugo.
“Didn’t I tell you I’d help? You should’ve called.”
Kuon rubbed his neck, touch scalding with ice. He didn’t want to talk, yet heard himself say, “What makes you think I need your help?”
“I know Yugo better and longer than you. Santellis don’t let go of their toys. Mark my words, nothing good awaits you. Leave while you still can, because the only way to stay with a Santelli is to dive into their world. You can’t be with them and stay clean.”
“Speaking from experience, I suppose?” Kuon asked, though he struggled to say why he was answering instead of staying silent. Tobias’ warning was outdated, now that he’d already left, but the unsolicited advice rubbed salt into a still-too-fresh wound.
Tobias smirked. “Kinda.”
“Why are you so eager to ‘help’ me?” Kuon croaked. He wanted to ask if it was to help Mio hop back into Yugo’s bed, but that wasn’t his concern anymore. The sooner he left the Black Duke and everything related to him behind, the better.
“Consider it a token of goodwill. Or maybe I’m feeling alittle nostalgic. You remind me of myself.”
“I’m nothing like you,” Kuon growled. Having experienced Tobias’ manipulative games once, he had no desire to listen to the man again, especially when the man insisted they were alike. Deep down, he knew the best tactic was silence, disengagement. Yet the warmth surrounding him made his control slip a bit.
“Oh, but you are. Naïve and earnest.” The car pulled to a stop, and Tobias pierced Kuon with the heavy gaze of his colorless eyes. “I was just like you, once. The law was my religion, the crime code—my Bible. You see, I worked for Interpol, and I loved my job.”
Kuon’s eyes widened, the drowsiness receded a bit. None of Yugo’s files said anything about that.
“Like you, I believed in justice, and just like you, I was in love with a Santelli.”
“I’m not in love with Yugo,” Kuon said, perhaps too quickly.
Tobias gave him a knowing look that annoyed the hell out of him. “Sure, and your eyes are red because dandelions are in bloom? And you’re barefoot because foxes stole your shoes?”
Kuon glared but there was no point in arguing. Still, Tobias’ words piqued his curiosity, so he fueled the conversation. “Why did you leave Interpol?”
Tobias shrugged. “When you love something with passion and believe in it with all your heart, disappointment kills. It only takes one step for love to turn into hatred.”
Kuon blinked, then blurted out, “Are you talking about Milana’s death or her marrying someone else?”
Tobias’ eyes narrowed as he gave Kuon an ominous look. “You don’t waste your time, do you?”
The car lurched into motion without a warning, pushing Kuon’s back into the seat.
Kuon shrugged and turned away. Questions buzzed through his mind, but it was pointless to voice them. Not that he would ever have a chance to solve the mystery now that he and Yugo were strangers. He pressed his forehead against the bulletproof glass and closed his eyes, not knowing what to do next. The gentle motion lulled him, and reality blurred as he slowly sank into himself.
