Page 4 of Doubts of the Egoist
Eyes feasting on the twist of Kuon’s lips and his bobbing throat, he didn’t dare blink, wanting, needing, to feel that hot mouth milking his cock the way it milked his fingers.
“Two fucking years…”
The man beneath him stilled, breath hitching against his palm as if waiting for continuation, but Yugo had nothing to add.
Rising to his knees, he withdrew his fingers from Kuon’s mouth, tore his shirt off, and undid his pants. His cock felt heavy and hot on his palm, thick veins throbbing with desire.
He moved a knee closer and invited his lover to lift up on his elbows with a pull on his shoulder. His angry-red head brushed over Kuon’s lips, smearing a glistening drop of pre-cum across them.
“Open your mouth for me, hm?”
Kuon tensed when Yugo’s fingers gripped his jaw and pressed on the joints there, demanding obedience. With an air of uncertainty, Kuon’s chapped lips parted just enough to reveal a perfect row of white teeth.
“Wider,” Yugo whispered as his index finger snaked under Kuon’s tongue, pressing on his salivary glands to make it even wetter inside. “That’s it.”
“Ugh…” Kuon winced, crumpling the stormy-blue silk as saliva trickled down his chin.
“Be still,” Yugo commanded as he remembered how beautifully lust, pain, and fear had dilated Kuon’s pupils, pushing the irises to narrow rings. Peering into the voids of those eyes had always made him feel powerful, as if he could see his soul and read every hidden secret. Now, with medical plastic concealing half of his face, Yugo didn’t know where else to look to fill the hollow darkness growing in his chest.
Something blunt andslippery brushed against Kuon’s lower lip, and the musky scent of arousal filled his nostrils. Yugo’s fingers hooked his cheek from the inside and pulled on it, before he shoved his thick cock down Kuon’s tongue, stretching his lips around the girth. The cockhead bumped against the sensitive spot at the back of his throat. He gagged.
Kuon didn’t mind rough sex. He remembered times when he’d even enjoyed it, but blindness made him insecure, wary, and defenseless. He wanted to ask Yugo to stop, but the man pulled harder on his cheek, adjusting his head position for his comfort.
“Easy there. Don’t scrape me with your teeth, and relax your throat.” Cool fingers drew soothing circles over the side of Kuon’s face. “Fuck, I missed your mouth so much. You feel so fucking good.”
The raw lust in the low baritone smothered his protest. He swallowed the mix of pre-cum and saliva, breathing throughhis nose. Not wanting to ruin Yugo’s pleasure, but needing air nevertheless, he pressed a hand against Yugo’s thigh to have more control over the depth of his thrusts.
Yugo didn’t seem to notice. His cock pulled out before he slammed his hips forward, driving himself all the way into his throat. The metal zipper of Yugo’s pants scraped Kuon’s chin while his pubic hair tickled his nose. His eyes watered as the cockhead hit that sensitive spot again.
“Ugh,” Kuon groaned, thick saliva flooding his mouth and dripping down his chin. He instinctively pulled back, trying to stop himself from gagging.
“Stay still!” Yugo’s demand scalded his nerves as the man’s other hand clenched in his hair, and the cock thrust so deep it breached his throat. “Go on, please me. Didn’t you want this?”
Kuon did, but not like this. Pulse spiking, he pushed Yugo’s hips away to clear his airway. The cock left his mouth, allowing oxygen into his lungs, but his elbow was yanked out from under him. His back landed on the pillow, and cold metal clasped around his wrists with painfully familiar clicks. His arms stretched upward with a haunting rattle of chains, and Yugo straddled him, knees bracketing his chest.
A surge of panic doused the last sparks of arousal. Nausea rose as the memories of the rape flickered. Vivid. Painful. Cruel. They chilled his blood and stuttered his heart.
“No…” Kuon managed with numb lips. The hope that they had left these forced relationships behind turned to dust. Yugo’s jerky movements, demanding tone, and the cruelty of his gestures—everything reminded him of their first encounters. When Yugo’s cock pressed against his lips, demanding entry, hewhipped his head to the side. “No, wait, please.”
Metal rattled as he gripped the chains with trembling fingers.
“Open your mouth.” The cold order dripped deep, sadistic notes.
An invisible needle shot through Kuon’s chest. His lungs spasmed as air caught in his throat. Cold sweat slicked his neck as he choked out hoarse words, “What the fuck is wrong with you, bastard? Release me right now!”
“No!” The flat refusal felt like a slap.
His panic accelerated. Rigid fingers seemingly amalgamated with the chains as he couldn’t unclench them.
“Enough!” he nearly shouted. Gathering the last drops of his strength, he twisted his body in an attempt to shake off Yugo’s weight. “I said enough! I hate it!”
Yugo blinked, andthe crimson veil fell from his eyes. He slapped the switch, and soft, yellow light illuminated the room. His focus jumped from the thick vein pulsing at Kuon’s temple to the blanched knuckles, bitten lip, and heaving chest.
A hollow, sucking feeling settled in his stomach. “Are you scared of me?”
Kuon’s pale lips barely moved as he mouthed, “Release me.”
Yugo swallowed the bitter taste of disappointment. He unlocked the handcuffs, grasped Kuon’s icy wrist to check his pulse. “Why?”
