Page 26 of Doubts of the Egoist
Kuon’s eyes must have deceived him, because the grin of a Cheshire cat graced Yugo’s face. “Simon says—”
“Forget it,” Kuon blurted, realizing that his questions had only made him miserable so far, while Yugo glowed with satisfaction. He wanted to break the distracting physical contact, but the stupid time refused to run faster.
Itching with nerves, Kuon stared at his trapped arm, wanting to chop it off to free himself. But since it was already covered with purple bite marks, it looked pathetic enough. He sighed.
I must be an idiot if I thought it was a good idea to play a game I can’t win with him. I look like a victim of a zombie apocalypse, and yet I haven’t even asked him anything important. Concentrate, damn it!The surge of righteous anger helpfully summoned the memories from the white room. His mouth opened and closed. A searing wave of shame hit his face.
“Did you watch me jerk off?” Kuon asked, instantly regretting his question.
A black brow arched, and Yugo’s face lit up with joy. “Simon says—”
“Shut up! It was a rhetorical question. Damn it, don’t you know what privacy is?” Kuon’s voice pitched with indignation as he recalled all the times when Yugo had forced him to have one dry orgasm after another on the same days he’d touched himself. He tried to wriggle his hand out of the grip as the places where Yugo’s tongue had so generously lavished kisses only moments ago now cooled beneath the echo of his deep laughter.
“My five minutes aren’t up yet.” Yugo clawed at Kuon’s hand, refusing to let go of his prey. His hot tongue dragged across the thin skin on the inner side of Kuon’s wrist once again, slicking the web of blue veins with wet heat. He lifted his shameless, shimmering gaze. “I loved watching you pleasure yourself. The more I looked at you, the more I wanted you for myself. All of you.”
Not sure how to respond to this confession, Kuon turned away. Water licked his bent knees as it filled the tub, rollingoff in shallow, shimmering ripples. Everything felt surreal—his restoring vision, Yugo’s house, the secret room, a bite mark on his ring finger, and Yugo’s hand groping his pecs.
Kuon glanced down and realized it was his own hand. Submitting to Yugo’s will, it shamelessly roamed over his chest. Somehow, being forced to touch himself under Yugo’s watch felt more depraved than having sex. He didn’t want to admit that a part of him enjoyed this game and was curious to see where it would lead them. And didn’t that play into Yugo’s hands?
Kuon’s hand shook, resisting.
A whisper stirred the damp hair above his ear as Yugo leaned closer. “Don’t fight me. Show me everything. I miss watching you touch yourself.”
Kuon huffed when Yugo seized his elbow, prompting his hand to sneak under his boxers. Kuon’s fingers wound around his hard length. Lust replaced reason, making tiny muscles all over his body contract with sweet anticipation. He gazed at his tormenter, once again feeling the unpleasantly familiar combination of being cheated and stupid. Only ten minutes ago, his mind had swarmed with questions that seemed more important than almost anything else in the world. Now he couldn’t produce a more or less sensible thought. “You’re distracting me; I can’t think.”
“If something like this distracts you from something that kept you from having sex with me earlier, maybe your questions aren’t important. Give up,” Yugo said with such a smug smile that Kuon itched to punch it back behind his perfect teeth.
Bastard. He closed his eyes, hoping the lack of sight would stir determination and cease this searing haze. His head rested on top of Yugo’s thigh once more, and Kuon couldn’tsuppress the desire to rub the back of his head against it.
The man chuckled. Kuon almost groaned as a cool palm brushed the damp hair away from his forehead. His fingers slithered up and down his blood-pumped cock, tugging at the strings of his body. The sticky-sweet euphoria filled his every cell, informing him of the building orgasm.
I’m like a cat in heat. I really want to suck him off. Why the hell am I so horny, and he’s so… calm?The thought displeased him. Kuon wanted Yugo hot and bothered, shaking with the need to touch and be touched. It felt unfair that he was the only one disintegrating in lust.
Kuon glanced over his shoulder. Yugo sat with arms crossed over his chest, watching him with a smug smile and hellish flames dancing in his bottomless pupils. A suspicion touched Kuon’s mind. “How much longer?”
“None. Actually, it’s more than two minutes of overtime.”
“Fucker.” Kuon breathed out the word, but his hand didn’t stop moving. “You cheated.”
“I did not.” Yugo’s pupils dilated, pushing away the steely rings of his irises. “I released your hand as soon as the time ran out; you did the rest yourself. Why don’t you admit that you want me here and now, and we’ll end this stupid interrogation?”
Kuon lowered his chin, offended that Yugo could still think clearly after such a performance. His pride reared up, as did his insecurities. He pulled his hand out of his boxers and pushed away from the tub’s edge, moving closer to the faucet, his face burning, blood roaring in his ears. To cool himself, he cut off the hot water. The icy jet licked the side of his body, sobering him up.
Liquid flames splashedinside. His thin silk shirt suffocated like a straitjacket. His voice, charred with lust, sounded like it belonged to someone else when Yugo asked, “Why don’t you do it again?”
“Do what?” With a nonchalant smile, Kuon draped his arms over the edge of the tub, showing off his broad chest. Crystal droplets trembled on his fingernails, unwilling to part with them. Yugo wanted to lick them off, to feast on them, just like he wanted to gorge on Kuon’s dick. Glossed with water, Kuon’s muscles rolled with each breath. Even his usual self-consciousness about his scars seemed to disappear, because now Kuon looked into Yugo’s eyes, challenging, testing, provoking him.
“Please yourself while calling my name?”
To Yugo’s surprise, Kuon’s hand slipped into the water. His black boxers stretched over his fist as he gave himself a few lazy strokes. “Is this what you want?”
“Go on,” Yugo whispered with a nod. “Take off your underwear; I want to see.”
“For that, you must answer a worthy question.” Kuon grinned, his smile both mischievous and seductive. His cheeks flushed as he tilted his head to the side, revealing the beautiful curve of his neck marked with purple passion marks.
Yugo’s lips burned with the need to renew those hickeys so they would never fade from Kuon’s skin. He got up and slowly circled the tub, cornering his prey. Once behind Kuon, he reached out to touch Kuon’s chest, but his hand was swatted away.
“I didn’t ask any questions for you to do as you please,” Kuon pointed out.
