Page 21 of Doubts of the Egoist
“No, stop! Those are private,” Yugo called out.
“Private?” Kuon let out a laugh, caressing the metal corners decorating the box. “How can it be private? It has my name on it.”
“Still.” Strong hands wrapped around Kuon’s shoulders, and warm lips pressed to the side of his throat, distracting him with a sudden mood change. In a honeyed voice, Yugo purred into his ear, “Those are things I couldn’t throw away. Nothing important. Come on, you need to change and take meds.”
“I didn’t have anything—” Kuon hissed as sharp teeth caught the tender skin beneath his ear. Acute pleasure sent a rush of goosebumps down his spine. Yugo’s hands, usually cold and warmth-snatching, felt scorching against his belly as they snuck under his T-shirt, messing with his mind and shifting his priorities. In the neon-blue light, Yugo’s long, elegant fingers had a glowing outline. After years of imagining those hands on his body, seeing them was insanely erotic and addictive. His blood ignited, burning out his ability to think straight. It took all he had to catch the elusive thought and whisper, “Can I see them?”
Kuon gulped, trying to steady the shuddering, needy sounds in his voice. Yugo’s hand had already slipped into his jeans and was rubbing his cock, sending blasts of pleasure throughout his body. He groaned, unable to process what was happening as the room blurred before his eyes, and Yugo pushed him toward the door. His fingers let go of the smooth leather box because its contents didn’t feel as important as Yugo’s hand on his cock.
“We’ll see.” Yugo sank his teeth into the side of Kuon’s throat before his warm tongue circled the disturbed spot. “I’d like to finish what we’ve started.”
Kuon took another step, tilting his head to the side to give Yugo better access to his neck, when his gaze fell on the monitors. From different angles, the footage showed him touching the curtains. He blinked; the red haze of arousal lifted.
“What’s this?” Breaking the embrace, he leaned toward one of the monitors and squinted. No mistake, this footage was taken only hours ago. A nervous laugh escaped his throat as his mind caught up. “For fuck’s sake, what kind of hobby is this?”
Yugo paled. He glanced at the screens, then back at Kuon, wearing the sheepish look of a teenager caught watching porn. With a long exhale, he raised his palms in a calming gesture. “You weren’t supposed to know about this…”
“So, just because I don’t know, it makes it okay for you to spy on me?” Kuon let out an ironic huff and shook his head in disbelief before looking at the footage again. “Are you a voyeur now?”
“Your imagination is running wild. We keep records of everything that happens in the mansion. Lots of people work for me. It’s a necessity. Every room has surveillance, including thebedroom.”
Kuon scowled, unsettled by the thought of constant surveillance. Yet Yugo’s calm confidence and reasonable explanation made being watched and recorded somewhat… acceptable, which alarmed him. Taking advantage of the moment of confusion, the Black Duke pushed him out of the small room, his searing breath burning Kuon’s ear. “Anyway, the doc said not to strain your eyes, so don’t.”
“No, wait! I want to see it.” Kuon glanced over his shoulder, intuitively sensing he shouldn’t let it go. But the door hissed into place, fitting seamlessly into the wall.
The feeling of being cheated gnawed at him. The hands roaming up and down his body sparked suspicion that all these caresses and embraces were meant to distract him from something crucial. It cheapened the affection.
When Yugo pushed him against the wall to capture his lips in a demanding kiss, Kuon closed his eyes. He tried to concentrate on the tongue tracing the line of his mouth, but his mind refused to let go of the room behind his back that contained the box with his name on it, and the fact that Yugo had been watching him.
By its own volition, his hand glided over the silky, golden wallpaper, searching for seams. His nails scraped the surface, but he couldn’t tell whether he was clawing at the texture or the outline of a door.
Yugo looped an arm under Kuon’s knee, pulling his leg to wrap around his own thigh. The grinding of hips against his crotch made Kuon acutely aware of the heat radiating from the man before him and the unmistakable hardness pressing against him. Still, he couldn’t yield.
“How do you open the door?” He pulled back just enough to speak. “You do realize that even if this is the best sex of my life, I won’t miraculously suffer a short-term memory loss, right? Your dick isn’t a magic wand.”
Their teeth clanged as Yugo couldn’t decide whether to laugh or kiss, so he did both. “There’s a lamp to your left. It’s a tug lock.”
Kuon’s hand felt along the wall, grabbed the lamp, and tugged it one way, then the other, but nothing happened. “Not working?”
“Of course not. It’s biometric,” Yugo murmured as his fingers slid down Kuon’s ankle and snaked under his sock. “Damn, your foot is wet and cold.”
The shoe dropped on the floor; the wet sock followed. Yugo’s fingers felt hot when they wrapped around his cold toes, kneading them.
Arousal and conflict were a combination Kuon should be used to with Yugo, yet he didn’t know how to handle it. His thoughts jumbled. A part of him wanted to let go and enjoy what Yugo offered; the other needed to know the answers to his questions.
He wanted to believe the footage was a coincidence, and that Yugo had good reasons for watching it. But the secret room he wasn’t meant to know about, along with the mysterious box and surveillance footage, kept nagging at him. Unable to stop himself, he asked, “Why did you watch the recording? If you don’t trust me, what am I doing here?”
Yugo froze. The fingers around Kuon’s toes withdrew, letting his calf slip down Yugo’s leg. With a tremulous sigh, Yugo broke the embrace and pulled away enough to press his palmsagainst the wall on either side of his lover’s head. His hair was disheveled; his breathing—short and shallow. The look he gave Kuon spoke volumes of discontent, arousal, and annoyance. Yet, his voice remained calm. “Tobias was here today. You disappeared right after he left. I needed to know if he had anything to do with it.”
“I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t you trust him? Isn’t he your business partner?” Kuon blurted, fearing Yugo’s generosity in sharing information would soon run out.
“He is, but that doesn’t meanyoucan trust him. He’s a twisted motherfucker who likes to play games that amuse only him, and for some reason, he’s interested in you. I don’t like it, so don’t give him a chance to get into your head. I know he’ll try, so in the future—avoid him.”
Kuon scoffed at the belated warning. Tobias’ words had already affected him once today. Anyway, he saw no reason to meet Tobias again. “Fine.”
“Now, if your curiosity is satisfied…” The corner of Yugo’s mouth curled up as he bent his elbows, leaning in for a kiss.
“I still have questions.” Kuon’s hand shot up to cover Yugo’s mouth a second before their lips met.
