Page 1 of Doubts of the Egoist
CHAPTER 1
“Welcome home, Kuon,”Yugo whispered, hands gliding over Kuon’s shoulders. The touch was so imperceptible that Kuon had to follow it with a slight turn of his chin to feel it better. “Welcome home.”
“Home…” The word tasted odd, but Yugo’s chest brushing against his back, distracted from the thought. The all-consuming heat scorched the web of memories woven through his mind.
Blindness had sharpened Kuon’s senses. Despite the lightness of the touch, the excitement in Yugo’s impatient fingers trailing Kuon’s arms was unmistakable. A hot breath stirred the tiny hairs on the back of his neck, carrying distinctive hints of tobacco and heady cologne.
“Funny.” Kuon smirkedand turned around, half expecting a kiss to brand his lips. The infectious desire the man exuded tightened his veins.“I’d never have thought I’d return here.”
“Neither did I.” A whisper brushed his mouth, making him painfully aware of the nonexistent distance between them. “But I’m glad you did.”
A rush of air caressed his cheek a split second before solid heat pressed to his mouth. Firm and insistent, Yugo’s lips demanded submission and access. Kuon yielded. Their tongues touched—tasting, teasing. Gentle at first, the kiss turned greedy as the caresses grew bolder, reaching deeper and deeper with each lick. A cold, raking sensation crept up his arms, and something scratched his skin before icy fingers wrapped aroundhis neck.
For once, Kuon didn’t resist but embraced the attraction. He reached forward, pulling the shirt from the waist of Yugo’s pants and slipping his palms underneath, focusing on the sensations. Yugo’s cool, dry skin was in stark contrast to Kuon’s hot, rough palms. He traced prominent muscles, drawing Yugo’s image in his mind’s eye, stroke by stroke—a powerful back, strong shoulders, ripped abs, toned pecs with small, hard nipples. Like a blind sculptor, he explored the perfect body with his fingertips, searching for flaws yet finding none.
More… More… More… His heart pumped his soul with greed. Bereft of sight, he ached with an acute sense of loss like never before. Spectres of memories wove into bright images—the flush of arousal on Yugo’s cheekbones, the possessive look of pure desire swirling in the depths of the cold gray eyes.
The need to confirm Yugo still looked at him this way remained, forcing a groan of frustration that Yugo’s hot, demanding tongue licked from Kuon’s lips. The pressure on his neck increased as strong thumbs rubbed his throat from both sides, drawing Kuon’s focus to the area and higher. There, where their breaths mingled, Yugo’s tongue drew a lazy swirl around his before slipping deeper to stroke the roof of his mouth. Dizzy, he clutched the solid frame before him for support, as keeping his balance while blind was more challenging.
The longer the kiss lasted, the more eager and torturous it became. Yugo didn’t seduce or caress; he bit and claimed, grazing Kuon’s lips and chin with his teeth. Rough fingers sank into Kuon’s short hair, pulling his head back to gain even more access. The kiss felt too penetrating, borderline violating, as Yugo tonguefucked Kuon’s mouth, causing the internal fire born from the friction to roll down Kuon’s throat, chest, stomach…His body ached, cock swelling in his jeans, spreading sticky wetness where the head rubbed against his boxers. He missed Yugo. Yesterday was not enough. Their rushed passion only fueled his thirst for physical touch, intensifying his desire for roughness.
His lips burned, stomach hardened as raw need tore a moan from his throat. Yugo smiled against the kiss, scraping him with his light stubble. A slow, smug smile, which he couldn’t see but felt, tasted of the triumph of his eager submission. It annoyed and felt unfair, because while he smoldered alive, nearly begging to be touched, this asshole remained cold enough to enjoy his capitulation. The thought cooled Kuon’s arousal a degree. To wipe the smugness off those thin lips, he straightened, regaining a few inches of lost space, then bit at the intrusive tongue as a warning.
Yugo smirked, changing tactics. He no longer tonguefucked Kuon but instead teased and seduced him with long, lazy licks. Each stroke of his velvety tongue sent electric pulses through Kuon’s body, charging him with carnal desire. Kuon pressed on Yugo’s shoulders, craving the skilled mouth to move lower and bring relief, but to his disappointment, the man pulled away. Icy fingers slid down Kuon’s jawline, wiping the wetness from his chin.
Instantly missing the contact, Kuon scowled, disoriented and lost. A worm of self-doubt twitched at the corners of his mind. Was the room illuminated? Could Yugo see the ugly scars that must be peeking out from under his eye shields? Was the view revolting enough to kill the mood?
“Hungry?” The smile ringing in the deep baritone confused him still more.
Unable to match the sudden change in mood, Kuonrasped without a smile, “I am, so don’t tease me.”
He wet his burning lips with his tongue and stepped into the man’s personal space, filling his lungs with the pungent scent of the woody, spicy cologne and sweet tobacco. He needed the reassurance of Yugo’s touch more than the next breath as insecurities swarmed and attacked his confidence. The revolting tactile memories of the slick, bumpy skin of his eyelids screamed “ugly” in his mind.
“If you keep rubbing against me like this, I’ll fuck you on the dining table,” Yugo promised, then took Kuon’s hand, and pressed it to his groin.
Hot and thick, Yugo’s cock throbbed in his palm. The touch flooded Kuon’s mind with vivid images from the past and filled his mouth with saliva. He wanted to taste him and tear muffled gasps of pleasure from his throat. Without sight, everything was overwhelming—the familiar voice, scent, warmth of his skin, and the pulsing organ under his palm, all acted like an aphrodisiac to his touch-starved body. “I don’t mind.”
“The doc wasn’t happy to see you’re covered in ‘bedbug’ bites. He said to go easy on you for a few days. If you keep groping my cock like this, I won’t be able to hold back.” Kuon’s face caught fire. He jerked his hand away, remembering the nurse’s awkward silence as she took his vitals and the doctor’s nagging as he checked the corneal sutures. On cue, his hand flitted to his own chest in a vain attempt to feel the hickeys burning through his T-shirt. Embarrassment replaced lust, and he stepped away. Yugo snorted, then added, “Besides, we wouldn’t want the food to get cold.”
“Seriously?” Kuon wasn’t hungry, at least not for food. His stomach churned with unspent lust, blood pounding in hisveins. Disappointment and frustration grew, spoiling his mood. He craved release and hated being the only one feeling this way.
“Why? Do you have something else in mind?”
Does he want me to beg?He had already forgotten how mean Yugo could be.Or… Maybe for Yugo, it’s nothing much, just a kiss?
The second thought tasted foul. He doubted the Black Duke had been celibate for the past two years. Unlike Kuon, he had likely had many lovers, so a mere kiss didn’t send him into a mindless frenzy or prompt him to demand more. The realization made his chest ache. Hating his needy state even more, he let Yugo’s fingers seize his shoulders and lead him deeper into the room. “No, let’s eat.”
“Sit.” The pressure on his shoulders shifted, and wood screeched against wood. Something bumped against the back of his knees, and he realized Yugo had pulled out a chair for him. He found the armrest and sat down. Automatically, he reached forward to measure the distance between himself and the dining table, but when his fingers drifted over the silky tablecloth, he froze, not knowing which way to move.
Silverware clanked to his left, and Kuon tilted his head to the side, tuning in to all his senses. A rich aroma wafted up—roasted lamb, freshly baked bread, and mint. He winced, mentally rejecting the food, but his treacherous mouth watered. The squeak of a chair being dragged across the floor repeated, and Yugo’s knee brushed against his before metal screeched against porcelain.
“Open up.” The demand preceded a piece of meat brushing against Kuon’s lips. A drop of minted gravy swelled on his lower lip, then ran down his chin, leaving a rapidly coolingtrail.
Kuon grimaced, flinching from the greasy attack. The edges of his eye shields sank into the skin beneath his eyes and at the bridge of his nose. “Would you stop?”
“I just started. Come on.” The mocking notes in Yugo’s voice were too familiar not to recognize. The man was clearly enjoying himself; the next words confirmed Kuon’s suspicions. “Open your mouth, or I’ll have to find other parts of your body to feed.”
He blinked. Even if it did nothing for his sight, it helped his mind process Yugo’s ultimatum. Food play had never been his sexual fantasy, and spoon-feeding had always felt a little degrading. Plus, it reminded him of the past, but the promise lurking beneath the threat quickened his pulse with excitement. The tease game was on the plate, and he was invited to dig in.
