Page 14 of Doubts of the Egoist
“Who says I won’t? I’ll see whoever I want, and I don’t need your permission to do so,” he said, his fists clenched, eager to punch Yugo’s chiseled jaw.
The Black Duke shrugged. “If you don’t want them to get hurt, you’ll listen to what I say.”
Kuon blinked. “Did you threaten them?”
“Pfft. Why would I?”
“I don’t believe you. Stop the car. I’ll call and ask, and for this, I need my SIM card.” When Yugo ignored him, he grabbed his arm. “I said, stop the damn car.”
“I can’t. It’s a highway.” Yugo shrugged his hand off, eyes on the road.
Burning with low blue flames, Kuon hissed, “Fine, then tell me, how did you two meet?”
“I dropped by her place.” Yugo’s expression didn’t change, as if he was talking about something trivial.
“What for?” When Yugo didn’t reply, he lowered his voice. “Why did you visit them?”
Yugo’s knuckles whitened as his grip on the wheel tightened. “There is nothing to tell. I didn’t threaten them. I just wanted to know what kind of person she is…”
“Why?” Kuon asked before he could stop himself, feeling dumb. The discomfort on the Black Duke’s face was so obvious that an answer was no longer necessary.
Yugo’s cheek twitched. “Because you’re interested in her.”
Kuon looked back at the road, shuffling the received information around in his head. “Did you throw my phone away because you’re jealous? What are you, five? We were talking, nothing more.”
Yugo took a steep turn as he left the highway and headed down a country road. Kuon’s shoulder bumped against the door, and his head bobbed, making him cringe.
“For what purpose? I threw away your phone because you don’t need it. You can’t have friends while you’re with me; she doesn’t want your friendship anyway. She wants your cock, but it’s mine, and so are your eyes and everything else. I don’t share. Anyway, if you know what’s best for her, forget about her.”
“What is it if not a threat?” Kuon fixed the man with an icy stare. Drums of rage pounded in his head, growing louder with each word.
Yugo wavered but condescended with an explanation. “I did you a favor. Now you don’t have to reject her, waste your energy on this pretense of friendship, or even explain why you don’t take her calls. Or maybe you wanted to play house with her and her daughter? Did you really think I’d let you see her,knowing she has feelings for you?”
“I had other contacts on my phone.”
“What contacts? Your military ‘friend’ who looks at you like a dog at a bone? Or maybe your former police colleagues?” Yugo hissed. His cell phone rang. With a twitchy hand, he reached for it and rejected the call without looking.
A tiny muscle beneath Kuon’s eye twitched. “Stop the damn car.”
Yugo grimaced and gently tapped the brakes, bringing the car to a halt midroad. Cold, gray eyes pierced his soul as Yugo spoke with blood-chilling seriousness. “Very soon, the rumor will spread that you’re back with me. After what happened two years ago, people will assume you are my weakness. Some will want to use you to get to me. It’s good you don’t have a family, because it’s better if you don’t have anyone important at all. If you wish that woman and kid well, forget them. You can’t give them anything anyway. I won’t allow it.”
Kuon opened his mouth to retort but bit his lip, unable to prove otherwise. More than two years had passed; things could have changed drastically. He didn’t even know if the Three Kings still maintained the armed neutrality among themselves. The silence from Gray’s side didn’t bother him, but he knew that pieces of information might have reached his adopted brother by now. If Yugo was right, ugly gossip would soon follow, and then… He struggled to predict Gray’s reaction.
Would he use me to get to Yugo?He grimaced at the obvious answer, hating that what Yugo said made sense. Even if he enjoyed Kristina’s company, he couldn’t offer her anything, and by accepting her calls and invitations, he would give her false hopes.
Maybe there’s no reason for us to keep in touch, but should he really act this way?He looked to his left. Yugo sat straight, eyes dark with poorly concealed tension, as if anticipating a tantrum. The oval black stone on his ring glinted in the bright midday light. His long, beautiful fingers nervously kneaded the steering wheel, betraying his emotional turmoil. Just like that, watching a muscle twitch on Yugo’s neck, he conceded, nodded, and said, “I understand, but next time, talk to me before you throw my things out. Or better yet, don’t throw anything at all. It pisses me off.”
Yugo’s shoulders relaxed, and he wordlessly put the car back into gear, bringing them closer to the place Kuon hadn’t seen in years.
Standing in themiddle of Yugo’s bedroom, with his heart drumming in his throat, Kuon snorted, realizing how insanely accurate and detailed his mental projections had been.
The heavy bronze chandelier still hung from the ceiling, adorned with crystal drops. Heavy curtains draped the wide window, but unruly sunbeams still crept into the room to catch the crystal ashtray on a small coffee table next to the beige ostrich-skin chair. The grotesque, towering mirrors reflected a massive canopy bed.
Drifting around the room, absorbing the painfully familiar atmosphere, he felt wired. Earlier that morning, the bedroom, though smelling like Yugo, was just one of many faceless rooms, now, his heart raced on high alert as if he’d entered a demon’s den. Even the wolf pelt watched him with hellish flames dancing in its glass eyes.
He couldn’t help thinking that the place he had oncedeemed a point of no return had ended up being the bottleneck of an infinity symbol, where he would always reappear no matter how fast he ran.
To free himself from this daunting notion, he looked around. The master bedroom seemed frozen in time, and his gaze kept slipping over objects, unable to find anything new, anything to symbolize change.
