Page 113 of Doubts of the Egoist
“People talk, Yugo.” Tobias shrugged his shoulder again, then added, “And Mio… I only help him because it’s in my contract. It’s no secret why I dislike him. He doesn’t care about anything in this world except you. If he did, he would never have touched that rifle. Maybe he tried to set me up; maybe he didn’t. Who knows? But he stole my rifle because he was blinded by hatred but too scared to confront you directly. Instead, he chose to kill an innocent guy. How does that warrant any respect? You’re wasting your time if you think Mio would ever make a good successor. You’re also wasting my time on him, but as long as we maintain this profitable deal, who am I to complain?”
“Don’t exaggerate. He cares about things. That’s why no one died. He just needs to learn some self-control and strategic thinking; that’s why you’re training him.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, but the rifle has a knocked-off sight. Even if you fix it, the sight wobbles every time you pull the trigger, so your aim will always be off. You have to shoot the rifle many times to figure out what’s wrong with it. Mio is a good enough sniper, but he is trained to use modern rifles with little to no recoil. He only fired three rounds, as he usually does when adjusting his aim to hit a target. If it were any other rifle, you’d be looking at a dead body.”
“Fuck…” Yugo got up from his seat and turned to the window, gaze fixed on the pink dawn edging the forest. “Whereis he?”
“I’d be looking now, but, well…”
Yugo grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the windowsill and fumbled through his pockets for the lighter. He cursed when he couldn’t find it. As he turned to face his guest, Tobias flashed a toothy grin and dramatically spun his trophy between his fingers before double-tapping the lighter on the armrest.
As Yugo took a threatening step toward his guest to reclaim the lighter, the door swung open, nearly hitting Greg’s shoulder. All three men turned their heads toward the intruder. Tobias’ hand moved to his ankle, Greg’s to his armpit holster. Only Yugo remained still, watching as Kuon lowered his stubborn chin and entered uninvited.
With clinical detachment, his dark, tenacious eyes searched each man in the room as he moved past Tobias toward Yugo. Questions were etched on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but his gaze swept over the desk, and the words never left his parted lips. His pupils flickered from side to side as he absorbed the information on the papers. He blinked in disbelief, his chin moving in denial.
“Funny. I was told the bullet never made it to the lab. Looks like my source was wrong.” When Kuon looked up, an ocean of raw pain and disappointment splashed inside his dark eyes. Yet his voice was void of emotion. “Say something.”
Blood drained from Yugo’s face. He knew exactly what conclusions Kuon was drawing, yet his lips remained sealed.He doesn’t trust me. He never will.
As the seconds ticked by and Yugo failed to defend himself, Kuon nodded, chuckled, shook his head in an inner dialogue with himself, then stormed out.
Yugo didn’t move even when two pairs of eyes bore into him with amazement and curiosity. Tobias’ words had hit their mark. Kuon’s voice echoed in his head,“How am I supposed to know when I don’t even recognize who that is? You did this, so why won’t you tell me? What am I feeling? Is it just a capture-bonding afterglow? Because what you did to me should be unforgivable, and yet…”
The snake-like hissing broke the silence. “He obviousssly thinks you did it, you know?”
Yugo glared, unwilling to engage in the provocation.
“Sucks to be you right now.” Tobias said, revealing his crooked teeth in an amused grin. The chair creaked as he stood up, snatched up the printed sheets, and waved them in the air. “I’m confiscating this.”
His back filled the doorway when Yugo growled, “Keep your damn phone on, Tobias. Call me when you find Mio.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Papers rustled as Tobias tucked them under his arm and slammed the door behind him, leaving an empty plastic bottle and a water ring on the desk.
Greg turned his dark gaze from the door back to Yugo. “He’s got a point.”
“What do you expect me to do? Tell Kuon the truth? He won’t believe it. Even if he does, what good will it do? If he thinks it was me, he won’t snoop around. If he finds out it was Mio…” He shook his head. “Who knows what will happen then? Better the devil we know. Speaking of devils, change the household staff. Keep only the people you trust, and make sure no one ever talks about what happens in this house again.”
With a clipped nod, Greg slipped out the door.
Glowering with confusion,Kuon stormed up the stairs. He entered the bedroom, tore his sweat-soaked T-shirt off his overheated body, and threw it onto the tall mirror. Unsure of what to do next, he froze.
Should I stay? Leave?Neither option felt right. Without a clear understanding of the situation, both options felt unproductive and would lead to the same outcome.
His nerves stretched tight, vibrating, urging him to move. His fingers twitched, the vein under his eye pulsing as his lungs struggled for air. In the dead silence of the morning, a piercing sound rang in his head. An elusive notion, like a pesky mosquito, swirled just out of reach.
“I don’t get it…” he mumbled to himself, hoping that saying it aloud would help catch the elusive ‘mosquito.’ “Why didn’t he deny anything? Did he really do it? Why else have the files? Why else did the police records vanish? Did he lie to me?”
Shivering with a chill of disappointment, Kuon kicked off his soaked running shoes and peeled the socks from his calloused feet. Excuses, each more elaborate than the last, rushed through his mind as he struggled to justify Yugo’s actions.
Could he have started his own investigation?Ridiculous,Kuon thought, instantly dismissing the idea.Yugo wouldn’t get involved, not for Rick. Even if he did, why exclude me? And why erase the police records?
Does he think it’s too dangerous and wants to keep me out?Kuon rubbed his hand over his heart, thinking Gray would have done the same. He hated the thought, but it fit Yugo’sbehavior.Or maybe Yugo is covering for someone, hoping they will finish the job. Or he really did it.
Kuon didn’t want to believe it, because that would make him a terminal idiot. Still, he had no idea how else to explain Yugo’s silence.
His thoughts were jumbled, his concentration shattered, and a searing loathing scalded his lungs, redirecting his frustration toward his surroundings. He wanted to grab the matches and set this damned place on fire. Burn it to the ground, along with his memories, but hotheaded actions had never given him the upper hand. Suppressing his urges, he turned around and exiled himself once again to the tiny white room. He needed to think, and for that, he needed to cool down.
With his palms on the cold windowsill, Kuon took one long breath after another to clear his mind. The cold freshness of the early morning broke through the barred window and tasted sweet on his tongue, carrying the intoxicating scents of heather and cut grass. The chirping of the early birds grew louder as a swarm of black shadows crossed the sky, heading for the river. Yet serenity eluded him, and his thoughts inevitably gravitated to Yugo.
