Page 82 of Doubts of the Egoist
What do you want from me? You already have Mio, so go back to him; don’t make him cry again. I wish you a happy life, you bastard.But nothing came out of his mouth. Kuon knew he had to say something better than what sounded like hurt feelings. Something that would make Yugo listen.
He looked at his captor with what he hoped was confident neutrality, but Yugo’s bland disregard for his presence onlymagnified his discomfort.
“I’m listening,” Kuon said, staring at Yugo’s battered profile. He looked tired, pale, and ragged. His once-white shirt had faded to gray, his left cufflink was missing, and the blood-stained cuff hung loosely around his forearm. He sported a few fresh bruises. “Yugo.”
Yugo sat with his shoulder propped against the window, one hand covering his eyes, the other holding a whiskey bottle. A smoldering cigarette was squeezed between his teeth, thin smoke wafting into the narrow slit of the window. The sound of Kuon’s voice set a barely perceptible tension in his shoulders.
“Is Rick fine?” Kuon pressed.
Yugo ignored him.
“Listen… I’m sorry I left without a word. I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. I should have waited for you, so we could talk, but I thought you’d understand even if I didn’t.” The politically correct words he forced himself to say felt thick in his mouth. “I didn’t leave on a whim. I thought about it for days, and I… realized that we live in completely different worlds. I have no place in yours. Whatever’s going on there, I… can’t be a part of it. And frankly, I didn’t think you’d even notice I was gone… or that you’d actually care. I’m sorry you wasted a trip, but I don’t want to go back.”
“Shut up!” Yugo hissed. “No one asked what you want.”
Fists clenched in impotent rage, Kuon growled, “Not until you tell me what happened at Rick’s.”
Yugo grimaced as if the mere sound of this name hurt him. His upper lip curled, and a low hiss merged with the rumble of the engine, “Shut up, or you’ll spend the rest of the trip in thetrunk!”
Kuon opened his mouth to retort but bit his lip as Greg slowly shook his head.
The feeling of defeat crushed him. He could have tried to push the issue, or even fight, but he knew he wouldn’t win, and spending the rest of the way in the trunk wouldn’t help anyone.
Yugo smoked cigarette after cigarette, washing each puff down with a gulp of alcohol. The sun glared. Smoke swirled. Greg drove down the narrow road, lacing through the morning forest. Birds chirped, and this splendor rubbed Kuon the wrong way because his stomach churned with a dreadful notion.What if Rick’s dead?
Kuon closed his eyes, and the long, agonizing wait began.
CHAPTER 22
With an earthshakingslam, Yugo left the car without looking back. Greg followed but stopped by the rear passenger door; his heavy, disapproving gaze lingered on Kuon for a long moment, revealing his need to say something. His grayish chin dipped to his shoulder as his eyebrows knitted together. Having changed his mind, he sighed and headed into the mansion, leaving Kuon alone and naked.
The transponder key lay on the dashboard, beckoning Kuon to get behind the wheel and drive away. The prospect was tempting because no one was guarding him, but Kuon knew it was an illusion. He wouldn’t be allowed to pass the gates, not after what Yugo had gone through to bring him back.
After waiting for a few minutes with no sign of anyone bringing him clothes, he opened the door and stepped out. The wind stirred the light hair on his shins, slipped under the borrowed jacket, and whipped at the last piece of clothing that didn’t even cover his ass.
He burst into the mansion and charged upstairs, ignoring the housekeepers who hustled out of his way, eyes wide with surprise. The burgundy carpet bounced beneath his bandaged feet. Where the stairs ended, the hallway split into two directions. Kuon headed absentmindedly toward Yugo’s bedroom, but a noise from behind made him turn. At the end of the hallway, in the opposite wing of the building, the door to Mio’s bedroom stood wide open.
He reached it just as Yugo left. As the door slowly closed, Kuon glanced inside but saw no one. Angry, he couldn’tunderstand why searching an empty room was more important than them talking.
“Talk to me.” Kuon blocked Yugo’s path, peering into his battered face, but the Black Duke did not even glance at him, shouldering his way toward the staircase.
Kuon ruffled his hair in frustration, feeling less significant than an ant floundering in a river. He tried to stay calm because succumbing to mindless rage would only get him into trouble, but his self-control slipped through his fingers. The uncertainty of the situation and the memory loss disarmed and depressed him, making it impossible to take any action. If Rick were still alive, Kuon would need Yugo’s cooperation. But if he wasn’t, there was no point in talking. So Kuon trailed after the Black Duke like a beaten dog behind its owner, once again begging for a sliver of attention.
Reaching the banister, Yugo leaned over it and asked, “Where’s Mio?”
“Herr De Vos picked him up two hours ago. He also left a package in your office. He said you should know what’s in it.” The familiar voice of a senior housekeeper drifted from downstairs.
“Damn Tobias, he comes and goes as he pleases…” Yugo muttered under his breath, scratching his temple.
Anger and jealousy twisted into a poisonous knot of emotions, making Kuon fume.What’s the point of fetching me if all you care about is Mio?I don’t get it at all. You selfish bastard, choose one!
Ignoring the shocked expression of the housekeeper, he blocked Yugo’s path down the stairs with his body and an outstretched arm. Such an embarrassing situation couldn’tpossibly get any worse, so he wasn’t bothered by exposing his naked buttocks to everyone downstairs.
“You can’t avoid me forever. Not after what you’ve done.” Shaking with barely contained rage, he spat out words, “We need to talk!”
Not paying him an ounce of attention, Yugo strode into his bedroom.
Left behind again, Kuon felt stupid. He wanted to pin Yugo against the wall, force him to talk; instead he obediently followed the Black Duke into the master bedroom, hating to escalate the conflict.
