Page 19 of Doubts of the Egoist
Just like before.
Kuon recoiled, his body reacting with habitual motions ingrained during captivity. His heart leaped to his throat, and it took him a few moments to realize that the man lacked Greg’s bulk or Yugo’s height.
“Hi, Puppy. Thought I’d drop by again to introduce myself properly.”
Panic pulled its claws from around his throat, letting some air into his lungs. Kuon blinked, noticing the distressed maroon T-shirt and a shock of yellow hair. The creepy grin Tobias wore gave him the chills.
Kuon swallowed to moisten his parched throat.
“No need. I know who you are,” he replied, surprised at how calm his voice sounded. “What do you want, and where’s Yugo?”
“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I mean you no harm.” The man pressed his palm against the doorjamb, barring the only way out with his sinewy arm. Fighting the urge to regain his personal space, Kuon held his ground as the man, whose age could be anywhere from twenty-five to forty, leaned into him, washing him in a soft smell of burned wood and moss.
The intense, probing gaze made his hackles rise. He caught himself staring; he’d never seen such ghastly eyes. The irises seemed whitish due to a lack of pigment, or maybe Kuon’s flawed vision couldn’t discern the color. They didn’t look reddish or violet like those of albinos, but the palest blue possible, with no sign of deepening toward the outer rim. The sun-bleached eyelashes added no color. In the midst of this pallor, the black holes of the pinpoint pupils stood out sharply as they examined him with clinical curiosity.
Tobias had a slender build and was a couple of inches shorter than him, but the way he assessed Kuon reminded him of the darkest alleys in the most dangerous neighborhoods. It was the look of a predator seeking its prey, and now the man dissected him, looking for weaknesses.
“I won’t lie, I’m intrigued. Even though I saw your pictures, you’re not at all what I expected. Not his usual type, you know? Too flawed, too brawny. I wonder what he sees in you. By the way, does it still hurt?” With a free hand, the man tapped the spot beneath his pale eye, reminding Kuon of the sunglasses left behind. “I can introduce you to a good surgeon if you want.”
His jaw clenched, Kuon nodded toward the stairs. “You must be lost. The exit is over there.”
“Look at you, living back in your former kennel with such eagerness. Guarding your territory, barking at intruders. Impressive, Puppy, impressive. Enjoy your domain, but don’t forget that a leash is a leash, even if it’s not around your neck. How long is yours?” Tobias retreated with feline grace. For a brief moment, the creepy, crooked smile left his face. With his expression neutral, he looked like a totally different person. The slightly hollow cheeks, intelligent eyes, and the hard line of his mouth didn’t make him classically handsome, but at least not repulsive. If it weren’t for the eerie eyes maybe he was even attractive. Kuon understood why no one could properly describe him. Except for the eyes, there was nothing in his face to focus on. It would slip from memory the next moment. The perfect type for secret service. “Oh well…”
The blond turned on his heel, snapped his fingers. Something metallic glinted in the air and landed on the burgundy carpet.
“Hey,” Kuon called after him. “You dropped something.”
The man flashed him another creepy smile over his shoulder. “No, Puppy, you are mistaken. It’s yours. Call me sometime if you get lonely in your kennel. I’m a great listener and an even better counselor. I don’t think you’ll last long here anyway. People like you rarely do, and then you’ll need my help.”
Kuon crouched down and picked up a thin piece of plastic with a number on one side and a chip on the other.ASIM card?
“I don’t need it.” He lifted his gaze, but Tobias had already disappeared downstairs. Uncertain of what to think of this strange encounter and the unexpected “gift,” Kuon returnedto the room but froze after a few steps in. Without Yugo, the bedroom felt stuffy and too loud with memories he didn’t want to process.
Wavering, he glanced back at the door, then at the SIM card in his hand.What could he possibly want from me? I should get rid of it. Not that I have a phone to call him anyway.
Despite the thought, he pocketed the SIM card, grabbed his sunglasses from the bed, and walked out. His resentment toward this room, this house, had not diminished over time.
No one was around as he descended the stairs, opened the door, and left the mansion.
CHAPTER 6
The onslaught ofcolors, shapes, and smells combined with the euphoria of freedom of movement intoxicated him. For a few long minutes, he stood there, transfixed, rubbing a pale, yellow-streaked leaf between his fingers. He stared up at the white stone wall, overgrown with thick wild vines that had already begun to turn yellow. Clusters of tiny black grapes hung here and there. Climbing up to the roof balustrade, the vines consumed most of the white stone but skillfully avoided windows and prominent ornaments. Above the porch, made of the same white stone, was a broken pediment, though Kuon could not make out the heraldic symbol in its center.
Seeing again was amazing, but the most satisfying thing was experiencing productive solitude. For the first time in months, he was alone but not lonely. Finally, he felt in control of his body and wasn’t just a blind, helpless passenger. He no longer needed help to go out or perform simple tasks. Realizing how much pressure relying on others put on him and how it affected his self-esteem made him appreciate the feeling of freedom. The freedom to do what he wanted, and right now, he wanted to jog.
The need to be active burned from within. His muscles itched with accumulated energy. The inability to spend it because of the doctor’s orders was frustrating, so instead of jogging, he walked, walked, and walked.
Surveying his surroundings for the first time, he couldn’t help noticing that the territory around the mansion was vast yet somehow neglected. All land beyond the front drivewayremained uncultivated. Apart from a few distant structures, presumably servants’ quarters or outbuildings, near the main building, Kuon saw nothing notable. There were only guard towers with armed men and a solid green fence that easily doubled his height. For some time, he followed the wall, but the sun, seemingly having an agenda to eradicate all life, made him duck into the forest before he reached the end of one side.
His lungs tingled with fresh air saturated with the intoxicating scent of bitter wormwood. Even though his cheeks were slightly fevered from being out in the sun too long, he didn’t want to go back.
He remembered his days in captivity when the thought of exploring the mansion and its surroundings had become his obsession. Now that he could finally reach the previously inaccessible areas without alerting the security team, he hoped he could stop thinking of Yugo’s house as a prison.
As the shadows lengthened and the green grass turned orange, he headed for the mansion but stopped short. A low murmur of water caressed his ear, singing a siren’s song. His heart stuttered, as did his feet.
As if mesmerized, he turned to face the noise that grew louder with each step. Time slowed as images from the past revived in his mind.
The night hitthe earth without warning. One moment, Kuon threw stones into the clear raging waters; the next, darkness fell on the ground. Within a few blinks, it was impossible to see anything even without sunglasses, so finding the way back to the mansion took long enough for the stars to emerge.
